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The family lost our best friend

kann

One Leg Of Fury.
Joined
Apr 29, 2011
Messages
10,589
Yesterday my wife called me to tell me that our dog, Dolby, came into the room where she was working, laid down next to her, and pretty much became unresponsive. She took him right to the animal hospital where they found internal bleeding from his spleen. Cancer.

They could have removed the spleen, but she said in 90% of the cases like this it is already advanced and will just recur in 3-6 months, at which point there will be absolutely nothing further to do besides agonizing chemotherapy. I asked her, "So, he's going to go through this trauma only to have the cancer come back right about the time he is finally healing from the surgery, and he's still going to die painfully within the year?"

She looked straight at us, teared up, and said, simply, "Yes". Even though we had changed vets, this doc still performed surgery on him in the past and knew him well. Dolby was just a dog you couldn't help but love, because he loved you first.

I would have paid anything if it was something that could be repaired surgically, no matter how invasive or how hard the recovery. They couldn't fix him this time.

My wife and I made the hard decision and then went to pick our girls up from school. They did not take the news well, as can be expected. We all returned to the hospital to be with him one last time. When they brought him back into the room, he had already deteriorated so much more from when my wife and I left him just about an hour before. He could no longer hold his head up on his own. He could still wag his tail, though, as we all loved on him and said our goodbyes. I stayed in the room with him while the rest of the family waited outside. I made the decision to take his life, so I owed it to him to watch the whole thing and to be there with him to the very end. I laid down on the floor with him, looked into his eyes, and he died with his head in my hands, petting his fur as he left.

It's the hardest, most painful decision I've ever had to make, and even though I know it was the right thing to do for him, I'll question that 10% possibility of saving him every day. Part of our family is missing this morning. He didn't sleep on the side of our bed like always last night. He didn't make his rounds of the house like every other evening prior, pushing open each bedroom door to check on the kids before finally going to sleep himself. No more squeaking mustaches or wet noses on my face waking me up to take him outside. Part of me is broken this morning. As bad as it sounds, I don't even think I really cried when my mother passed away. I haven't been able to turn off this faucet since we resolved on what had to be done yesterday afternoon. We may eventually get another dog, but I think you are only blessed with one friend like this in your lifetime. I'm not the only one who has ever lost a pet, I know. This is harder than I ever imagined it could be, though.

Dolby's very first photo as part of our family in 2004

MVC-014S.jpg


Our final photo together yesterday

Dolby%20Last.jpg
 
Sorry for your loss. It is always harder when we have to make that decision. We feel somehow culpable, even though the transition was inevitable.

Godspeed, Dolby.
 
My heart goes out to you and your family, brother. We had to put our Jack Russell Zeus down just this past summer. Its such a heartbreaking decision to have to make. It will get easier, but may you always remember all the awesome moments you had together.
 
Nick, my heart goes out to you and your family. Been down this road a few times myself and I would go down it again knowing the kind of friendship a pet will bring. Give our love to the wife and girls. If you need anything, you have my number.
 
Sorry man.... been there, and it sucks. I cried more this past June losing my old boy Porter than I did when my own father passed years ago. Hang in there.
 
Oh, man. So sorry. There just are no words. The best that can be said is that you gave him one last gift for all he's given you and yours. No more pain.

~Boar
 
We've lost fur family before and it's as hard as any life transition you can go through. My most sincere sympathy for you, and for your family's loss.

I'm sure you know that a beloved pet can never be replaced, but there are thousands of dogs; many older, less adoptable dogs in the pound that would love nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives in a home with lots of life and love. As mother nature thins our herd, that is exactly what we plan to do. Couldn't be a better memorial to a loved dog than to save another's life.

The very best of thoughts to you and the family.....
 
It's never goodbye, it's see you later at the rainbow bridge.

C
 
Thanks, all. I honestly can't believe how hard this is. We are all taking it pretty hard.

It is a very nice thought to save other animals, and it might be a possibility down the line. It's way too early to have that conversation, though. I do like the idea..
 
Sorry brother! Dang! I hate these post and know what it's like to get attached and love a dog! Hard to say goodbye to such an unconditional love that's always happy when they greet you at the door everyday.
 
It is a very nice thought to save other animals, and it might be a possibility down the line. It's way too early to have that conversation, though. I do like the idea..

Different people grieve in different ways, so of course take all the time you guys need. When we lost our little poodle years ago, my wife wanted another dog the next day....we only had the one, the house was just too quiet. We ended up with Rosie, our first little Chi. The rest, as they say, is history.....;)
 
When we lost Amber (5 years ago today :( ) we still had Porter, but we were not ready for another. But a few weeks after, I was at the fence with my neighbor, who self admittedly knew nothing of dogs - never had one, never grew up with one. He looked right at me and asked when we were getting Porter a puppy since he was lost without Amber. He saw it, but we didn't - in our grief we did not see his. I made arrangements and had Ruby shortly thereafter. I thought we were not ready, but it was the best decision we made. It may not seem right, but once you do it, it really helps. It's not replacing either... just adding another family member.
 
This brought back a ton of memories, when I made the heart breaking decision to put my Great Dane down. Hardest thing I've had to do. So many things still remind me of her.

I'd say it gets better, but it just fades and you deal with it. They become such a huge part of our daily lives. Good luck and keep your head up. Time to honor him with a great cigar and maybe an adult beverage or two.
 
Sorry to hear about Dolby.
 
Very sorry for your loss. Dogs are definitely more than just pets, they're part of the family...
 
Right there with you bro. We've had three pugs not longer with us, and our current gal Shelby is 17, blind, deaf and a trick hip, but she follows us around and we see no pain, but the time draws nigh. It's a bitch.
 
I feel your pain, and shed a tear. It's obvious he had the greatest life a friend could have in your family. I wish more people could appreciate their loved ones as much as we do.
 
When we lost Amber (5 years ago today :( ) we still had Porter, but we were not ready for another. But a few weeks after, I was at the fence with my neighbor, who self admittedly knew nothing of dogs - never had one, never grew up with one. He looked right at me and asked when we were getting Porter a puppy since he was lost without Amber. He saw it, but we didn't - in our grief we did not see his. I made arrangements and had Ruby shortly thereafter. I thought we were not ready, but it was the best decision we made. It may not seem right, but once you do it, it really helps. It's not replacing either... just adding another family member.

This is the part I'll have to reconcile. I believe you, it's just the thought of another dog eating where Dolby ate, sleeping where he slept, and just being where he was every day, in general, that is not something I can live with right now. The house still feels so empty, like he is missing. Perhaps once we get his ashes back here soon it will give a little closure.

Thanks again, all.
 
I may be off on this, but for US (my wife and I) we changed things up with Ruby. New bowls, collars, leashes, pads, toys, routines, everything. We tried to make it as 'new' as we could, without being TOO new, if that makes any sense? Believe you me, we are 150% into our dogs- not having kids has made them take over that role more than most. Things like Ruby is now allowed on the couches downstairs by the TV with me, whereas that has NEVER been allowed with any dog. Little things like that.

As far as the ashes go... it helps. Hell, I even made a little 'shrine' with them along with a digital photo frame that has nothing but their pics showing. I spread a little of their ashes here and there, places they loved like my raspberry bushes and sisters yard in Homer, to help keep them close. It's not uncommon for me to put a chair in either place and sit with a cigar and reminisce.

it's tough... I'm a big softie when it comes to my animals (no surprise to anyone that knows me) whereas with people I'm a hardass. Just don't do anything too soon. You'll know when it's right. I waited over 4 years to spread my girl Amber's ashes, and I'm glad I waited. It felt so much more special when I did it. And even though it's been 5 years today, it still hurts. But the hurt has faded slightly into fond memories. I made a memorial video for Amber that I can now watch, but Porter's I cannot... it's too soon, not having been a year yet.
 
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