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A Comment on Youth Sports...

punk_lawyer

Habeas Punkus
Joined
May 6, 2008
Messages
2,060
Gentlemen (and a lady or two),
 
My apologies for not being very active on CP over the past couple of months.  In addition to being my 'busy season' in the office, I also coach and coordinate our local lacrosse club.  It seems like every minute of March and April is consumed.
 
I know that many of you are active in coaching youth sports or have kids who play.  I think that some of you may referee games.  There is no doubt that youth sports can have tremendous positive effects on kids.  The friendships, the ability to work as a team, the self esteem, that list can go on and on.  I love to coach and I love to help players progress. But sometimes the parents of kids amaze me.  Sure, one rotten apple can spoil the whole bunch but I am really amazed sometimes.
 
On Sunday my son was knocked unconscious and suffered a concussion by a violent, vicious, illegal hit during a lacrosse game.  (Mind you, this is at the 4th grade level).  The father of the kid who knocked my son out cheered the hit wildly and, while my son was being transported to the hospital, he nearly got into a fight with two of our coaches.  As a result of that dirty hit, my 11 year old son has had to miss school, is going to miss several weeks of lacrosse, cannot participate in a 5k race that he had trained to run, and generally has to make sure that his brain works.  He will be okay in time.  The thing that burns me up the most was that the hit was clearly intended to take my son out of the game but it was cheered by the offender's father.  Clearly dad had told the kid to play like an assassin.
 
I believe that all of us involved in youth sports have a responsibility to control the behavior of the players, the coaches, and the parents.  If any of you have an out of control parent on the sidelines or an out of control player on the field then do what you have to do in order to insure player safety and a positive environment for the game.  There is no greater priority than safety.
 
Sorry to hear that Stu, I can't imagine how that felt as a parent.  I really hope your son quickly recovers and is able to get back to his normal routine, hopefully without having this always in the back of his mind when he's playing again.
 
It's a thin line, youth sports.  We as parents want our kids to be the best and make us proud.  But in reality, these kids are playing for fun and us as parents have the responsibility to ensure it's not to the point where they get burned out or hurt as a result of being too serious too early.  No 4th grader should ever be subjected to what your son is going through, as a result of some dipshit parent who thinks pushing his son will result in a lacrosse scholarship down the road. 
 
Honestly, I don't think I would have been able to refrain from approaching that dad and having a "discussion".
 
Sorry to hear this and hope your son has no permanent injury from this. I would not allow the team to play this team ever again if that boy is still part of the team. I blame the father and the coaches for allowing that type of play to exist.Good honest checks are part of the game but deliberate hits are not.
 
I'm with Brandon I would have said a few choice sentences as well as the statement I will send the ER bill to your insurance carrier.
 
When I coached pony league baseball I found many fathers to be over the top.  The experience with the boys was awesome, but some of the fathers, not so much.  So sorry about your experience.  I hope your son is ok Stu.
 
punk_lawyer said:
I believe that all of us involved in youth sports have a responsibility to control the behavior of the players, the coaches, and the parents.  If any of you have an out of control parent on the sidelines or an out of control player on the field then do what you have to do in order to insure player safety and a positive environment for the game.  There is no greater priority than safety.
 
First off, I am really sorry that happened to your son and hope he has a speedy recovery.
 
Second, I agree with everything you said in the above quote.  IMHO, the lacrosse league should have a no tolerance policy for malicious hits .  We have a similar rule here in Minnesota for youth hockey.  Kid should be suspended for 10+ games and if the child is a repeat offender he gets two bites at the apple and is banned from playing.....ever again.  If you make the punishment severe enough it will change that type of behavior, IMO. 
 
As far as the parent goes, I don't think it sends a good message to our kids if we parents are confronting other parents in the stands/field/rink etc.  Mr. tough guy was clearly amped up and probably would have escalated to fisticuffs in a quick second.  Again, not good message to send to the kids because they would see the whole thing.  That guy was acting like a jackass and everyone on the sidelines knew it.  A friend who's kid play soccer was telling me that the local league has put a rule out to the parents that if they are being abusive to the refs, coaches, players or other parents the ref has the ability to stop the game, call out the parent, tell them to stop and if they open their yap one more time their team forfeits the game. 
 
Just my .02c
 
Again, I hope your son is okay.
 
Stu. This is the first I've heard of this. Any father who encourages a child to hurt another, and cheer when he does so is truly disturbed.
I will definitely keep your son very close to my heart. He is a remarkable boy with a remarkable family.
 
Very sorry to hear about your son Stu.  I hope he has a very speedy recovery and is back on the field soon.
 
I hope the coach for the other team will have some sort of punishment for the kid and his dad.  There is no reason to intentionally injure an opponent.
 
Thanks for the thoughts guys. All indications are that my son is moving toward a full recovery.

I suppose that I should clarify that the only reason that there was not a fight with the parent is because our coaches took the high road. The league has weighed in on the issue. I haven't pushed for information but I'm certain that disciplinary action has been issued.

My son has lots of friends in the area lacrosse community. There was a big uproar about what happened to him with several other organizations chiming in. I just hope the uproar is big enough that ALL of our local lacrosse clubs take care to make sure this kind of incident never happens again.
 
I'm glad that your son is recovering and also good to hear that there will be some disciplinary action too.
 
Wishing your son well Stu and I hope the punishment is sever for that kid!
 
Glad to hear your son is doing better.  That sort of play has no place in youth sports.  My youngest (7) plays soccer nearly year round, and it seems at least once a week a parent from the opposing team has a meltdown.  It's sad to see, and I feel bad for the kids, especially when they are being berated for their play.  Our very first game about a year and a half ago one of the COACHES had to be escorted from the fields by Security Forces because he lost his shit at the opposing coach for some reason.  I understand the need to take the game seriously, but in the end the adults need to be showing the kids ethics and morals in the game.  Sportsmanship and leadership.  
 
Hope things continue to get better for you.
 
I've always been of the mind that parents should not be allowed at kids games. It would solve a lot of problems. On a related side note, when's he last time you saw kids playing baseball without any adults involved?
 
Doc
 
Devil Doc said:
I've always been of the mind that parents should not be allowed at kids games. It would solve a lot of problems. On a related side note, when's he last time you saw kids playing baseball without any adults involved?
 
Doc
 
Those parents have kids that are the next Josh Hamilton, Albert Pujols or David Ortiz!
 
Parents tend to F- so many things up for kids, particularly in the way of sports.  Dad's especially try to live vicariously through their kids.  My son is 4 years old and joined a t-ball league this year for the first time.  It was crazy to see how intense parents make practices and games.  Most of the kids out there have no idea what is going on, they're just trying to have fun while some of the parents are yelling at them. 
 
My son was in tball years ago. I remember manning 2nd base and he says to a friend. "This is boring! " I replied, "of course it is. It is baseball. Now football & hockey, those are fun".
 
ilikefishes said:
My son was in tball years ago. I remember manning 2nd base and he says to a friend. "This is boring! " I replied, "of course it is. It is baseball. Now football & hockey, those are fun".
 
That's great and so true.  The kids out there (at that age) really are bored as hell.  My biggest challenge, as a coach, was to keep the kids from playing in the dirt.  What is it about the damn dirt that they like so much?
 
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