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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

On this day in 1775, the British demanded that we surrender our weapons...
We shot them.

Due to Covid 19, protesters are asked to stay home and destroy their own property.

So... rioters are saying that country folks are next... You do realize that country folks will stay 30 feet up in a tree, all day, just to kill something?
 
After a relaxing bath...Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror...
Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her....
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...
'God....If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She prayed...
And just like that... Her ears fell off.
 
After a relaxing bath...Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror...
Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her....
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...
'God....If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She prayed...
And just like that... Her ears fell off.
I don’t think that qualifies as a “Dad’s joke” 😂 but it is funny…
 
After a relaxing bath...Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror...
Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her....
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...
'God....If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She prayed...
And just like that... Her ears fell off.

Reported. Politics and Religion. 😂
 
I don’t think that qualifies as a “Dad’s joke” 😂 but it is funny…
Seriously, I was just going to post that the last number of jokes are not repeatable to kids.

Which reminds me of the time my mom started to tell my 12 year old daughter a joke with "2 lesbians walk into a bar..." I shut it down.
 
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