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  1. Secret Santa

    Server upgrade?!?!

    In the midst of Secret Santa what did this jolly elf see? A Cigar page that is down Server upgrade?! What was this need? How could Todd do this? amidst all this fun How Santas to check progress? How can I give my kid the nod? Info Tech can be helpful IT can be a miss But why torment me with...
  2. Secret Santa

    We missed you, Tall Paul!

    Come on over and get cozy on my lap, big boy. You'll be excited to hear Mrs. Claus and I had Jason, Freddy, Chucky, and the gang over for dinner last week. Jason sliced up the holiday ham with ease, Freddy diced up the veggies, and Chucky buttered all the rolls. They really are good boys! Once...
  3. Secret Santa

    Wyatt Wyatt Wyatt....

    You sir have been a bad boy I am told this year! Drank to much, Smoked too much and lets not talk about the eating... Wait that actually sounds like an amazing time! ah fuck it come sit on my lap sir and let little old Santa know what he can stuff in your stocking. Also how's the fam? Any little...
  4. Secret Santa

    Ho ho ho @stogiewear, sweep that chimney, Santa is coming to town!

    Hoping is all good and well for you David @StogieWear ! I'm packing my sleigh soon, so let me know what your likes and dislikes are. I'm happy to do my best to include your favorites....and maybe some wishes! You're still a bit of a noob around here, but that's ok, it appears you've been...
  5. Secret Santa

    Eddie, Eddie, Eddie - What Have You Done, Pugman1943?

    Little Eddie, Looks like you're going back to the well again this year, huh Ed? Glad to see you participating once more in our yearly soirée! So step up and have a seat on Santa's lap and tell me you're most secret desires? Actually, scratch that, this could get creepy very quickly with you...
  6. Secret Santa

    Ho Ho @modo22 Happy Birthday er…uh… I mean Merry Christmas!! 🎁🎄

    Benjiman, come on over here and sit on my lap… yes, right about here 😊 💥 Somebody told me it was your birthday today, well I’m not much on birthdays, but I do a hell of a Christmas!! Give me some hints and some wishes, I can send Brad to do your dishes 😂 Tell me what makes you feel fine...
  7. Secret Santa

    Well, I do Acclaym - 'Tis the Season!

    Ho Ho Ho!! What might you enjoy this season? Something sweet? Something tight? Something for the night? Something old? Something new? Something like an old leather shoe? Do tell!!!
  8. Secret Santa

    Ho! Ho! Ho! drunkfish3!

    HO! HO! HOO!!! Come and sit on Santa's Lap @drunkfish3. Do you really think you are on Santa's Nice List? I've heard a lot about your antics this year, mister! @H. Vachon has told me stories of you bulling members on this page! That's not nice. @CBoukal backed that story up and added they were...
  9. Secret Santa

    Stone Cold Steve time to open a can of whoop ass.

    Come sit on Santa's lap and tell me what you want me to bring you? Before you ask no I cannot get you windows for your new house. What does Misses Stone Cold like?
  10. Secret Santa

    Paultra ..... tell Santa all about it.

    @PaulTra Santa's got a special gift He's bringing just for you. Just a little something extra, And it comes from Rudolph, too! He knows that you've been naughty Instead of being nice. Again you're on the bad list, And he's checked it over twice. Santa hopes this little poem Doesn't throw you...
  11. Secret Santa

    Chip off the ole Parker!

    Atlanta is it? Probably pretty nice temps right about now. Lets hope it holds so Santa can make his deliveries without incident. I hope you like crusty CC's and Davidoff's because Santa don't play too many other games. Like most people still trying to earn a living, I've got a lot going on but...
  12. Secret Santa

    CgarDan, are you the man?

    The man who will get what he wants this Christmas? I'm a busy guy but I can definitely make a stop for you. So what will it be this year? Smokes? Drinks? Cheap women? A new hobby involving cheap women? Let me know and I'll get the elves on it!
  13. Secret Santa

    Hey Nick @kann, I can't make it this year, but USPS is coming to your town

    HO HO HO You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I'm telling you why USPS is coming to your town I'm making a list And checking it twice I'm gonna find out if your naughty or nice USPS is coming to your town I see you when you're sleeping I know when you're awake...
  14. Secret Santa

    THINDE! Making my list, checking it twice, have you been naughty or nice?

    Ah, yes, there you are! Took me a while to flip through the pages of my the list, alphabetically as it were. Flipped by that scoundrel Gary on the way, I don't know how that guy makes the nice list every year. So, Thomas old boy, tell me what would tickle your stockings this year! I see you...
  15. Secret Santa

    Oh @H. Vachon come talk to Santa

    Sitting here making my list and checking twice @H. Vachon ,Keeps coming up on the naughty list? guess my Elf's may have got drunk and decided to play tricks on me, I'll have to interrogate the little bastard's. Why don't you tell Santa what sticks you may be enjoying/or would like to try this...
  16. Secret Santa

    Well well well, what could we get for our friendly nymphomaniac, Bill

    @CigSid. Seems that you are back on my list. I really thought I had taken you off last year after assaulting one of my elves, but after switching to this new computer system, it seems your name has....reappeared....somehow. Anyway, let's hear it man. Stick away from the red room material if...
  17. Secret Santa

    Flintstone, Cigarstone, Stonehenge, whatever... let's play with mortar

    My friend, I am here to help you out of those woods, lost As you were. Besides new glasses and primers ( arnt you old enough to be past primers ? ) and perhaps animated bucks on your lawn so you can practice, what can this mason apprentice do for you? I've got 409, cleans twice as good as 209...
  18. Secret Santa

    Naughty or Nice.... Hmmmmm... Floyd @SKYDIVNEKD

    Well Floyd after weeks of searching my elves finally made it back to the North Pole with some intel to share with me. It seems you are very hard to find, living out in the boondocks. It must get quite lonely out there with just you and the sheep, oh wait that's someone else on my list, never...
  19. Secret Santa

    They say everything's bigger in Texas. That includes your gifts, TexasTraveler!

    I ho ho hope you are having a great year, Aaron, since you are about to clean up, again, this Christmas! I hear you have been collecting quite the bounty here at CigarPass, winning contests and placing Super Bowl bets. Your good fortunes aren't over yet, my boy! Why don't you tell Santa what...
  20. Secret Santa

    Brad Santa has some Thoughts about you

    Bradly, Mr. Billboard!! My elves and I have been working hard since last Christmas to prepare for @Thoughts again this year. I am curious if your tastes, or fetishes, have changed in the last year. I think you have been mostly naughty but that is normal. Let me know if you have any wishes...