Eddie, Eddie, Eddie - What Have You Done, Pugman1943?

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
Little Eddie,

Looks like you're going back to the well again this year, huh Ed? Glad to see you participating once more in our yearly soirée! So step up and have a seat on Santa's lap and tell me you're most secret desires? Actually, scratch that, this could get creepy very quickly with you!! Instead, let's start with a simple question, what's it going to be this year? Cigars, libations, clothing, an instruction book on how to correctly participate in a Cigar Pass? You have to let me know, give me a clue, something, anything. Do you actually have a Pug? Or do you just resemble one? You're a tough one to figure out most of the time.

Ya' gotta get back to me as I have millions of kids to keep happy every year. Oh, and no more trips to Alaska, you came dangerously close to my hidden Workshop when you were up there. All your poking around in the snow almost landed you on the PERMANANT Naughty List. Stop being so nosey ya' little sh!t! Ever since you were a little kid, sheesh....

So what's it gunna be? LMK

Your buddy who knows all the weird thoughts in your head,

~Santa C
 

Pugman1943

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
6,274
Well hi there Santa. Happy you came to my living quarters.
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I don't think I resemble Eddie Haskell, sure don't have his demeanor. Just look at my birth photo. What's not to ❤️. I was first born so I got all the looks ( depending on your point of view.

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I did have some brothers and sisters, none of who picked up my habit of enjoying a good cigar, so I am the lone wolf in Pugs clothing.

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It might interest you to know we did get awfully close to the North Pole on our Alaska visit, but your security is dam tight, but it took a bullet in my ass to convince me to move on, probably shot from a gun with a 209 primer, but it did rip me a good one.

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While I surely could use instructions on the finer points of CP, I believe I am beyond hope ( and I hear the elves saying " no shit " ). I am not against booze, but that requires company to enjoy, and who in their right mind wants to come to my outdoor pen and sit with this mug of a pug.

All of the above is because I share the love of my brothers here on CP and enjoy a good Maduro smoke, it's that simple, and I know with your years of experience you can pull something out of that bag.

In closing I must add, please don't waste a CC on me. Our brother Bill @CigSid has tried to point me at the finer points, but I'm a pug ( truthfully a FOG ) and just don't get it.

Thanks Santa for whatever you do, it will be enjoyed and appreciated

Love ya, WOOF WOOF
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
WTF @Secret Santa , you shot Ed? That is messed up. You owe him big time to make up for that. And make sure you give his Pugs some good stuff too! This man prevented WW3!
Relax CJ, I didn't shoot Eddie, one of the members of my Elf Mafia fired off a warning round in his direction. It just winged him, he'll be fine. But I will let you in on a little secret, he did something that deserved getting popped that only Santa knows about.
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
OK Eddie, I put you down for a few things I think you may enjoy. So give the Elves a chance to put this package together and I'll let you know when it's on its way.

...and stop playing with yourself so much. How many times have I told you since you were 7 years old? That'll make you go blind!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
OK Eddie Boy, your package will be in route later today. This Santa doesn't post tracking number, I feel it kills the surprise! Please note, I've had supply chain issues like the rest of the world, so your gift came out of Santa's personal stash. So you may notice some very yellow cellos on most of these cigars since I tend to age my cigars for 10-15 years before smoking them. There is an interesting selection that I think you'll like and I did throw a few Cubans in there because, well, they're Cuban cigars!

I hope you enjoy them!

Let me know when they land.

Your Buddy,

~Santa
 

Pugman1943

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
6,274
Well Santa, you do have magical powers. A pug's tail doesn't stand straight, almost never. Mine just did! Supply chain issues I understand, I've been waiting for kibbles for weeks. But to go to one's personal stash, now that gets visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. Now I can dance in circles and do some pug fits while I wait, which is ok because these days I don't do much else. Cubans huh? You must have been influenced by our California elf ( el Rancho Grande perhaps ), or maybe he made you and offer you couldn't refuse? I will up my stock of oranges to cleanse my palate in preparation for those and hope to improve my impressions cause I know it's there, I just have a bitch of a time finding it.

In the meantime, I sincerely wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and thank you whatever may be in this wonderful surprise.

The Happiest regards,

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Pugman1943

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
6,274
Santa, a pug is never not in trouble, but trouble has layers, except..... when the ATF and UP Postal Inspectors get involved it just went to the upper most notch. You Knew I live in a place with four postal lock boxes. SHIT, blew the other three away with crap on the floor and there sits this box with smoke coming out of it from ( dummy, you left your address on it from the
North Pole ). And you know I've actually been there, so I figure you chowed down at Elmendorf AFB, or..... if you are the sneaky SOB some of us take you to be, you knew there is a old strip up at Barrow No longer in use, radar site now.

What do I say to these badge wielding dudes?, I'm sorry, I got a Santa that just has his stuff together? First they ask me is ALL that stuff yours, I said I sure hope so. Then they asked about why the cello was burnt. Had to explain aged cello and have them look me in the eye and say dog, you are aged but these look older than you.

To borrow a English word, I'm gobsmacked with the gifts. You nailed the old fart to the wall you chubby son-of-gun. Is it ok to be stunned and delighted. Hope so and if I ever find out your northern postal box I'm going to drop you a keg of serious whoop-ass.

Merry Christmas Santa to you and yours.

WOOF WOOF

Ed
 
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