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i hate computers pass

M

mel

Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
Messages
487
ok you all know i hate computers fro crashing all the time so lets start a pass everyone who wants in will post their best joke or story about computers the best story gets the pass last when the pickings are better worst story goes first.my boss told me that the cup holder on his computer was broken. i went to see what the #### he was talking about, to see that he had been useing the cd tray as a cup holder!
 
if your computer keeps crashing how do we know when the pass has begun ? snice you won't be able to post
 
Hehe Mel, I have heard that one many a times! I think it was the first computer joke made:)
 
Error Code: D.A.I.F.O.C. (Dumb Ass In Front Of Computer)Ok, it may suck but I read it somewhere. I didn't make it up.:biggrin:
 
THIS IS A TRUE STORY, I THINK. IT WAS A PRINT OUT OF A TAPED CONVERSATION BETWEEN A COMPUTER SERVICE COMPANY AND A PERSON WHO RECENTLY BOUGHT A NEW P.C. AND SEVICE CONTRACT.(YOU KNOW THIS CONVERSATION MAY BE RECORDED FOR QUALLITY CONTROLL.)
IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
COSTOMER: MY P.C. WILL NOT START UP.
REP: HIT RESET ON P.C.
COSTOMER: TRIED IT NOTHING
REP:pULL P.C. OUT  CHECK CONECTIONS.
C:DID IT NOTHING
R:TRY F1/ THIS OR THAT
C:NOTHING
R:HOW ABOUT F5 THAT/THIS
C:NOTHING
R:THIS THAT OR/:THE OTHER THING
C:TRIE ALL OF THOSE AND STILL NOTHING
R:I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU EXCEPT TO CHECK TO SEE IF THE PLUG ISN'T ALL THE WAY IN THE OUT LET. CHECK THAT.
C:OK LET ME GET A FLASH LIGHT I CAN'T SEE UNDER THE DESK.
R:??
C: THE POWER IS OUT HERE.
R:REEEAAAALLLLY!?!?!?!?
C:YUP
R: I KNOW THE PROBLEM. DO YOU STILL HAVE THE BOX THAT THE P.C. CAME IN?
C: YUP
R:pACK IT ALL UP AND RETURN IT!
C:WHAT DO I TELL THEM IS WRONG?
R: TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE TO #%**#@*&#** STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER.EDITED FOR SPACE.BELIEVE IT OR NOT THIS TRANSCRIPT WAS 3 PAGES LONG.
THE REP LOST HIS JOB FOR HIS COMMENT. BUT HOW MANY OF US WOULD DO THE SAME????RICH
 
Rich,HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:BIGGRIN:You know, someone out there has done this. There truly are some STUPID people in this world. I've dealt with many of them.SKYDIVNEKD
 
I never knew what theblue screen of death was untill my computer crashed and had me reload windows98.It should be called the pain in the ass screen that's what it was 8hrs later
 
you do all know that this is a pass and i need snailies right? :) :) ;)
 
I once worked for The Computer Factory (a retail chain in late '80s and early '90s). As we were going out of business our service department was shutdown and we had to deal with the aftermath. One day a customer called demanding that we return his computer to him. It had been in for service, and he said he never got it back. We checked, and according to the signed receipt, he had picked it up a month earlier. He insisted, however, that he didn't have it, and continued to demand that we return it to him. After his third or fourth call one of us was able to draw him out a bit, and eventually he said, "I'm sitting here looking at the box that the computer sits on, and the computer isn't there." "The box that the computer sits on?", we asked. "Yeah, where you put the disks when you run a program," he responded. Yes, he was looking for his monitor. We found one that could have been his, gave it to him and a month later The Computer Factory was no more.--
"users lose drugs" - anonymous help-desk staffer
 
This just happened to me the other day.I was working in a program while working and hit enter to select an item. The next thing I know, "ERROR HERE" pops up in a box. The button said, "OK"(or something like that. I was laughing too hard to remember) There was no "details" box to identify the error and it did not go somewhere else after closing the box. It has never done it before/after!I believe it was a sign. A sign to enter this pass.Mel?! Mel?! :biggrin:SKYDIVNEKD
 
I run 4 puter labs and teach puter applications to staff at a med school. About a year ago, the night staff called me at home. Their puter behind the desk here in the library wasn't working and insisted I come in. This was the first time they had ever called me at home.
I drove into work, came up to the 4th floor and rebooted it.
Right off the 4th floor balcony (onto a construction site-no danger there). "There are 100 machines here you can work with. Don't call me in for 1."
:biggrin: actually, I had a closet full of brand new ones to replace the old ones like the one I trashed and replaced it the next day.Funny thing, they've never called me at home again.
 
I am the manager of a ISP in Northern CA.
The humor is mostly lost since I have been doing this for 5 years now, but the amazing customers god bless them.
Everyday I am called by someone who wants to advise us that they have changed the phone number they are using thier computer on, so I can make sure the Internet works on the new number. I use to bother explaining it to them now I simply place them on hold for a second and go back and tell them "it's all set thank you"
Do I need a phoneline to get the internet?
Or the grandmother who comes in and she says.
"I want to buy the internet - I heard that a lot of money was to be made on the internet so I want to Buy It."
But the call that had us all rolling was -
I need to speak to the manager it's urgent....
(I pick up) Yes maim how may I be of service.
I need you to disconect my computer right now because my thingy is broken. (It was friday and I lost it, almost crying in laughter)
When she described her thingy.. It was clear that the ball had came out of the mouse. Now how do you tell this lady - after the first part that her mouse's Ball needs to be put back in.Mike Leahy
 
I have to say and we all would agree (I think) that the number 1 reason I hate my computer is this;After spending about &#362000.00 on a great new machine. I try to access some of the programs to do something simple and I get a little pop-up window called an error code.
User has attempted a Illegal operation - Fatal Exception.
Now how can I do something Illegal when I own the #### thing?Here are a few more errors http://www.connix.com/~abosco/errors/
Mike
 
I learned how to use a computer at night school when the Apple II+ was the cutting edge. Over the years I have used computers for many things and tried to keep up with the newest and best. Now I am using a Dell with real power. I use Autocad, data base mgmt, multilevel spreadsheets, etc. in my work for example.The reason I hate computers is that whenever I feel comfortable with my computer I see that there is a new variation avaliable; more memory, faster processor, etc., and I start thinking about replacing what was otherwise a perfectly fine computer 5 minutes ago!
Peter
 
Hi everyone, as you can see I'm new in here and have been lurking for some time now. I have been like a kid in a candy store wanting to get in on one of these passes So........... If you are willing to put me on your list...count me in!   Snailer sent. A couple of years ago I happen to be one of those people that called my computer shop to tell them my computer was on the fritz..... only to be totally embarrassed by the tech asking me if it was plugged in....I about died! I new that the tech was laughing his arse off and cussing me at the same time. Anyway, I couldn't understand why the puter would have been unplugged. The plug is way up under the desk. Two days later the puter was blank again. Being a bit more educated this time I look at the plug and sure enough it was unplugged again. I figured the wife was playing a joke on me so I asked the wife about it and she said she knew nothing. Hmmmmmm....... the next day....you guessed it..... puter unplugged again!  This time I was pissed and a bit spooked about it all but still figured the wife was messing with me soooooooooo.......hehe.....  I set up my video camera to catch her in the act. got to get up pretty early in the morning to get one over on me....... so I thought.  Well the next morning I ran in to check the plug on the puter and yes it was unplugged.  Ah ha....I got her I thought to myself and grabbed the video camera. I set it up and hit fast forward thinking she was doing it after I fell asleep. Within a few minutes of the lights going out in the house the tape sure enough showed a figure moving through the room, sliding up under the desk, and pulling the plug.  I thought, Alright , got her, no getting out of this!!!  I rewound the tape and slowed it down to regular speed...... I was floored! It wasn't the wife.....it was my dog (Ricki).  When I showed the wife we both died laughing.....apparently the noise from the cooling fan of the computer made a rather high pitch shrill from time to time and when the lights were out and the fan made that noise, Ricki figured out that she could make it go away by unplugging the #### thing. We watched her several nights after that and sure enough, that was it.  I replaced the fan that wkend and problem was solved.   Kenny
 
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