Investandprosper raise your hand, this is Santa! the man with the plan

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
Invest and prosper? What it do? what it be?
Do you have some insider stock picks for me?
Don't talk to me about Gamestop nor AMC
Shorts are not my thing, look below my belt and you will see

I'm gathering my list and checking it twice.
Have you been a nice brother? Or are you skating on thin ice?
What do you smoke? Do you like to read?
Are there sweet treats to your fancy?
Have you a family or pet in need?

Being in the islands, bottle shipping will be tough
So tell Santa some sticks, and any other stuff
Vitola is nice, and brands would be keen
Else it could be grape White Owls and that would be obscene

I will need to fly early as the islands are not close
Santa is vaccinated but will need a second dose
Donner is drinking again and Blitzen is a bore
I will use the dreaded post office to reach your lovely shore

Don't leave Santa hangin' Don't make me wait
I will need a box...maybe a crate
But when its all said and done
Remember Santa is your friend
And let's have some fun!
 
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investandprosper

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Apr 28, 2010
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1,504
Well now Santa, you clearly have skill! No stranger to the mic, your rhymes got that ill. Myself on the contrary didn't turn out so lucky, so I'll just drink and be merry while my rhymes kick the bucket. Scotch can be tricky to ship to this rock, one or two have done it, with that bubble wrap that doesn't pop. With cigars I'm not picky, and my favorites don't often come quickly (that island south of Miami takes a while if you feel me). Bolis and their yellow wrappers are always a sight for sore eyes, but really, I love SS because it's always a surprise. We get to know brothers better who we've chatted with for years, but maybe never had the chance sit sling back a few beers.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a rhyme, haha! Thank you Santa, and Merry Christmas to you and yours!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
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Messages
4,816
Ahh Investandprosper, a rhyming you did do
But I have other questions before I bid you adieu

Is there a daschund, running about you afoot
Is there a partner, who does not want soot?

If Santa should send something to wear
Are you a size small or would that size leave you bear?

As you sit on an island, it is with haste that I ask.
Santa has to ship early or the post may fail at its task.
 

investandprosper

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Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
1,504
Ahh Investandprosper, a rhyming you did do
But I have other questions before I bid you adieu

Is there a daschund, running about you afoot
Is there a partner, who does not want soot?

If Santa should send something to wear
Are you a size small or would that size leave you bear?

As you sit on an island, it is with haste that I ask.
Santa has to ship early or the post may fail at its task.
Your elves report truth with what their eyes saw,
A small dachshund who barks as loud as she is long!

My wife rolls her eyes when SS comes to town,
More cigars! She says while turning a slight frown

Yet when from the cache I pull, with a twinkling eye
A chocolate treat for her, that frown says goodbye!

I’m not a slight fellow, yet not a plump chum
I’m about in the middle, when push comes to shove

I wish you merry, with a dash of good cheer,
And if you ever come to this island, let’s sling back those beers!
 

smellysell

Go Vols!!!
Joined
Jan 9, 2007
Messages
9,422
This thread is winning secret Santa.

Santa, bear has a very different meaning than bare. Wish that actually helped me narrow down who this could be, but alas...
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
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Messages
4,816
Smellysell you have the eye
For a mistype Santa missed
But if Investandprosper were sized as a bear
A small would definitely be a diss
To your point Santa notes the difference
And Santa really was wrong
An error being almost as daunting
As seeing Rod in a jingle bell thong.
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
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Messages
4,816
So the US Postal Services are a bunch of bitches
If Santa had his way a few would be in stitches
A package I awaited was reverted for no reason
And catching a lost package is impossible in this season

Guess they thought the tobacco incoming was weed
It pissed Santa off and left Santa in need
So I contacted a friend who did a direct ship
But don't you fret or bite your lip

With this note the first package is underway
A second is coming just not today
Alas there is more and more posts will I quip
Sending the second number once it does ship

Just sit back and relax; maybe have a sip
Bare are Santa's Helpers who are showing their nips
A ho is enjoyable and two ho's are more fun
If den ho's are married Santa better know how to run



USPS 9405511108029806159862

PS

Tell Todd to put on some pants!
 

investandprosper

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Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
1,504
The best Secret Santa thread by far 😂

You’ve outdone yourself, you jolly old elf!
I’ll take Christmas cheer, but you keep dem hos to yourself!
They give surprise gifts that don’t come in a sack
They’re the kind of gifts you want to give back

Don’t fret over packages that haven’t arrived
I’m at my leisure, not a care on my mind
You’re far too generous, a good chap I can tell
Merry Christmas to you, tip a glass, and enjoy yourself well!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
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Messages
4,816
So Santa looked at the address
And the island is a really long way
Not to mention the warmer temps
Could make the reindeer want to stay

Off to the post Santa went
And the package is sent
With all the ho's this time of year
Santa is spent.

USPS 9405 5036 9930 0094 8159 54
 

investandprosper

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Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
1,504
Santa, you are part sleuth and part elf! I just got back from a short trip and found the first package. I love the tins, these blends are two of my favorites and hit the spot during Christmas. Can't wait to pop a tin, pack a pipe, and read a book.

The second package is closely behind, thank you again for spreading so much cheer. I'll give those reindeer a place to stay any time of year!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
4,816
Santa is pleased the blends are to your liking
Its not really Santa's forte, kinda like hiking

The reindeer are fine, resting up for the big night
They are taking a fat man on a long flight

In just a nigh or two, it should all be done
Hope you enjoy your pipe and Secret Santa was fun
 

investandprosper

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
1,504
Santa, your packaged landed and knocked the rhymes right outta my mouth! What a thoughtful and generous gifting. Yours and my preference for ring gauges are the same, I prefer lanceros and corona/corona extra sizes as well but still reach for medium vitolas and robustos on occasion. I save the big ones like the Fuente Fuente for special occasions (it's been a long time since I've had an Opus, so thank you!). So many great cigars that I haven't tried, your experience with Nicaraguan rollers is far more than my own. Looking forward to each and every one of them.

Bailey thanks you for the bones and my wife sends seasons greeting's for the chocolates! So very thoughtful. A very Merry Christmas to you and yours!



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