Performance Review question

[cabaiguan juan]

Does anyone do a yearly performance review with their kids, or wife? My kids are five and almost 3, and my weight is 39 and we have been married for 11 years. Also, do you allow them to give you a performance review? I’m thinking instituting this in our house.

 

[JHolmes763]

You should definitely do this. Start with your wife. The best way to approach this is a two step process. The first step is updating your will. The second step is to mention this to your wife. The rest will take care of itself.

 

[CigSid]

You should definitely do this. Start with your wife. The best way to approach this is a two step process. The first step is updating your will. The second step is to mention this to your wife. The rest will take care of itself.

 

[cabaiguan juan]

You should definitely do this. Start with your wife. The best way to approach this is a two step process. The first step is updating your will. The second step is to mention this to your wife. The rest will take care of itself.

You joke but it’s not a terrible idea. It could help the relationship. Given what I know, Chic’s tend to hold shit it. I’ve been busted for shit I’ve done 6 months prior. Discussions about Statues of Limitations take effort and energy that could be better spent on other activities

 

[CigSid]

You joke but it’s not a terrible idea. It could help the relationship. Given what I know, Chic’s tend to hold shit it. I’ve been busted for shit I’ve done 6 months prior. Discussions about Statues of Limitations take effort and energy that could be better spent on other activities

Ok, take the initiative and let us know how It goes (or let us know which hospital you are in )

 

[cabaiguan juan]

Ok, take the initiative and let us know how It goes (or let us know which hospital you are in )

Wife aside, because I’m sure a lot of guys routinely talk with their wives, what about kids? How do you help guide them on a yearly basis on how to grow and be better.
PS, I’ll let y’all know if I need a couch or therapeutic beer delivery.

 

[kann]

Statute of Limitations in marriage:

If it's about YOU: It's like Murder 1, there ain't one -- you are on the hook for life.

If it's about HER: It's already past, and you are just shit out of luck with your complaints...

 

[jfields]

 

[H. Vachon]

When she kills you, just pray she doesn’t sell your cigar collection for the price you told her you paid for it.

 

[JHolmes763]

In all seriousness, communication is huge, both with the wife and kids. You should have all of these discussions, but it should be a constant thing. Calling it a performance review or waiting until a certain time to address it, is a recipe for disaster. Both professionally in a business and at home.

 

[AVB]

Glad you are talking about family life. If it was a review for here..........well........

 

[Scap]

In all seriousness, communication is huge, both with the wife and kids. You should have all of these discussions, but it should be a constant thing. Calling it a performance review or waiting until a certain time to address it, is a recipe for disaster. Both professionally in a business and at home.

This all day long.

However, for the moments that someone has been stewing for a while and decides to unload on you, at home or at work, I've used the following to defuse the situation.

"Obviously, this is something you've spent some time thinking about, but it's the first time I'm hearing it. Could you give me some time to think about it and get back to you?"

 

[H. Vachon]

This all day long.

However, for the moments that someone has been stewing for a while and decides to unload on you, at home or at work, I've used the following to defuse the situation.

"Obviously, this is something you've spent some time thinking about, but it's the first time I'm hearing it. Could you give me some time to think about it and get back to you?"

I gotta steal that line. Definitely beats getting defensive

 

[Scap]

I gotta steal that line. Definitely beats getting defensive

Use it. It absolutely works.

 

[cabaiguan juan]

Ok so it was kind of a dumb idea but y’all had some good comments and thoughts and a few laughs too. Thanks. I’m going to scrap my formal review process and just invest in a lot of flowers and stickers. Response to those in my house is pretty positive.

 

[H. Vachon]

Ok so it was kind of a dumb idea but y’all had some good comments and thoughts and a few laughs too. Thanks. I’m going to scrap my formal review process and just invest in a lot of flowers and stickers. Response to those in my house is pretty positive.

Not a dumb idea, it’s all about the approach. I’m sure with your professional background, analyzing a process and finding/correcting its flaws comes very easy to you.

The balance is finding a way to use your rational and logical skills to find an issue, but using a tactiful way of presenting it to cater to your wife and kid’s emotions. As much as it may be easiest to be direct, a straight line may be the fastest way from point A to point B, but it may not be the most effective.

As for allowing them to review your performance; It would only be fair and productive if they could help you grow as a father and husband.

That’s my two cents, but mind you my wife and I are only celebrating our 2nd anniversary tomorrow, so I may not be a proper authority to even comment.

I hope it goes well for you

 

[Tall Paul]

You should definitely do this. Start with your wife. The best way to approach this is a two step process. The first step is updating your will. The second step is to mention this to your wife. The rest will take care of itself.

HA HA HA HA!

 

[cabaiguan juan]

Quick update: I’m still alive, in tact and not sleeping on the sofa. So you can guess correctly that I didn’t pull an Office Space with her. )Picture the two Bob’s). But the idea was mainly for the kids, as my wife and I talk pretty regularly about us and the kids and life and we’re we are at in the whole picture. The idea of the formality of it is kinda funny to me, but when I ran this past the wife, regarding the kids and no mention of her job performance, we decided to do what we have always done, addressing it on the spot.
Now if your curious where this ridiculous idea came from, I was listening to a Jacko podcast, maybe 173 or there abouts, where he read and spoke about the military’s ways of doing performance reviews.

 

[AVB]

Quick update: I’m still alive, in tact and not sleeping on the sofa. So you can guess correctly that I didn’t pull an Office Space with her. )Picture the two Bob’s). But the idea was mainly for the kids, as my wife and I talk pretty regularly about us and the kids and life and we’re we are at in the whole picture. The idea of the formality of it is kinda funny to me, but when I ran this past the wife, regarding the kids and no mention of her job performance, we decided to do what we have always done, addressing it on the spot.
Now if your curious where this ridiculous idea came from, I was listening to a Jacko podcast, maybe 173 or there abouts, where he read and spoke about the military’s ways of doing performance reviews.

Having done a couple of thousand performance reviews for Uncle Sam the difference is.
1. They have to listen to you
2. If they get mad I don't care.
3. If they don't get with the program they are gone.
4. I don't have to sleep with any of them.
5. Somebody has to clean the Head this month.

 

[JHolmes763]

military’s ways of doing performance reviews.

Yeah, those are shit paperwork drills to justify (or deny) promotions, not anything for actual performance.