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PM's from a Lurker

KayakinBoy

KayakinBoy

I was raised in the canebrake by an ol' mama lion
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Messages
5,133
A lurker (whose shall remain nameless, unless he comes forward) sent me a PM asking for my source on the Cuban Chewing tobacco. I wanted to share what all was said.

Lurker:
Hi there,
Just curious where you ordered your snus. Every time I tried to order the Cuban Snus my order was kiked back when I enter my US mailing address
Thanks
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Me:
You joined in 2007 and have never posted? Do you post on other forums? Sorry, I don't want to share a source with lurkers... ???
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Lurker:
No Problem,
Found it. Google is great!
Don't post primarily because any time a newby does, he/she gets their ass handed to them by the FOGs. Seem to be sport on most these groups.
Thanks
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I have never personally agreed with this, and find it a little insulting. I do not think anyone here is looking to start a fight. I wonder how many others won't post because they think we are just looking to start something... ???

I hope the lurker's point of view changes and he begins to post, or maybe it will bring other people foward who would turn out to be a great asset to the community.
 
I think that his comments have some merrit and need to be considered if your new. I think, however, that if you follow the rules and get to know the people here, it becomes quite apparent that this is a rather tolerant and friendly place. Just look at how we treated BMOC- he would have been skinned alive on other sites.
 
KB,

It's my impression that things have gotten a lot better even just over the nearly three years I've been here. But then again, I'm fairly active and have developed a good sense for the contexts in which these "beatdowns" occur.

I have also been contacted by perhaps a dozen lurkers over the years who have exactly the same concerns. My advice to them, if solicited, has always been to give posting a try. Get to know people one man at a time. Be honest, sincere and you'll not be left out to hang.

Some folks simply appreciate the information on this site but have no wish to engage in the social network. Or at least, it is not important enough to them to take the risk or make the effort. For those folks, I propose that they are doing just fine. CP, in that capacity, serves their needs.

There's more nuance than this and I understand you're point about drawing out the career lurkers, but that's a topic of board community development, a bigger issue.

Wilkey
 
Nobody gets their "ass handed to them" unless they deserve it. I think it's a pretty lame excuse for someone to say that that is the reason they don't get involved and I also find it insulting. If they truly read and see what goes on here (especially over the course of a few months) they know that it's nonsense.

People here treat those that are here to be part of Cigar Pass VERY well, new and old alike. People that just show up to sell their wares, rip people off, or act like they own the place from the first post are a different story, as should be the case.

If someone just wants to lurk and read, that's fine, but there are a lot of aspects of CP they're not going to experience by not getting involved, and that's a shame. It's their choice, though.
 
Well, to me, it seems that said lurker didn't really consider why some noob was getting his ass handed to him. It's always for a reason. The only time I've really seen it become sport is when some noob goes so far over the line, he calls down the thunder on himself. Like the one who doesn't read/respect the rules, feels entitled to the perqs, trust, and respect earned by long-time members, thinks he's gonna change the board to run his way, yadda, yadda, yadda. You know, the guy who pulls his sphincter down over his head and thinks he's stylin' in his new hat. Any reasonable person who practices a little literacy, care, and good sense shouldn't have a problem.

It doesn't seem so long ago that I was a rank noob. Hell, considering my comparatively low post count and the fact that I'm not a FOG, I may well still fit in to the noob category. Don't care, really. It hasn't affected my enjoyment of this community. I never got my ass handed to me, that I remember. Corrected? Sure. Educated? You betchya. Abused or piled upon? Nope, not once. I've seen many other noobs join us in the same manner.
 
LilBastage said:
People here treat those that are here to be part of Cigar Pass VERY well, new and old alike. People that just show up to sell their wares, rip people off, or act like they own the place from the first post are a different story, as should be the case.
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(emphasis, obviously, is mine)

Truer words have n'er and whatnot...
 
Thanks for the input from everyone. Keep lurking if you wish, but you are missing out on the friendships you will make. ;)
 
LilBastage said:
Nobody gets their "ass handed to them" unless they deserve it. I think it's a pretty lame excuse for someone to say that that is the reason they don't get involved and I also find it insulting. If they truly read and see what goes on here (especially over the course of a few months) they know that it's nonsense.

People here treat those that are here to be part of Cigar Pass VERY well, new and old alike. People that just show up to sell their wares, rip people off, or act like they own the place from the first post are a different story, as should be the case.

If someone just wants to lurk and read, that's fine, but there are a lot of aspects of CP they're not going to experience by not getting involved, and that's a shame. It's their choice, though.
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Alan hit the nail on the head.

Many, many folks manage to 'read more, post less' out of the gate, and go on to become active and contributing members of the community. It doesn't take rocket science, but some common sense doesn't hurt. If someone chooses to lurk that's their choice. The most generous, helpful folks on the planet read and post in these pages. To suggest otherwise is just wrong.

B.B.S.
 
BlindedByScience said:
Alan hit the nail on the head.
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x2

I haven't been around nearly as long as some of you guys but I have seen several guys get shown the door shortly after joining.

Every guy that I've seen get "their ass handed to them by the FOGs" ultimately deserved it. There may have been a time or two where someone was a bit harsher than they should of been, but then the newbie would flip out and show his true colors. It's easy enough to get along with everyone here as long as your willing to put in a tiny bit of effort, pretty much all you need to do is follow the rules and not flip out if someone says something.

I've seen a number of situations where all it takes is a "My bad" or a "sorry, won't happen again" for the situation to pass over and go away, there are a number of outstanding members who made mistakes very early on after joining, but corrected them and continue to be members today.

I have seen several posts in the past about the FOG's who look for newbies to attack. I haven't seen it, what I have seen is a handful of members who understand that CP is self moderated and sometimes the trash needs to be taken out.
 
As a newbie, who has stepped in it a couple of times, and has been corrected by the members here, it was only on occassions where it was truly deserved. I would tell the lurkers that you may see a few posts in a thread "putting you in your place", but I also received PM's from members as well telling me what I did wrong, and how to make it right. I have become a better(at least in my opinion) and smarter member because of it.

Nobody is out there just waiting to jump on you just for fun. The older members here have worked to turn this into a great community, and they are only looking to protect what they have built. If you are willing to join this community, and put in the time and effort to become a quality member, this community will reward you beyond anything you can imagine. I'm not just talking about cigars either. You will develop friendships, and opportunities to meet great people. I know I feel fortunate that I joined this community, and I will continue to try and learn to be a good BOTL.

In the words of the great philosopher Will Smith: If you don't start nothing, there won't be nothing.
 
Meeting and smoking with fellow CPers is one of the best rewards of being a member here. You're not going to get that from lurking. "Hi, I'm Bob, I've been lurking since 2005." <cricket, cricket> <uncomfortable pause> <cricket, cricket>

Like Al said, it's their decision, but I don't think anyone here is waiting behind a bush with a hammer in hand.
 
CP is the largest cigar forum on the net and for good reason.

If you don't participate, that's your loss.

Brian
 
I cannot agree more. I came here and acted like a arsehole and was rightly put in my place. Just follow some rules and show the proper respect that the FOG'S and everyone deserves and you will find this is a wonderful place with really helpful people.

In the 2 months here I have learned more about cigars and how to store them(I thought I knew alot :blush: ). I have also learned alot about how to be a member of a community and not a self-centered person and I have alot of people here on CP to thank for that.

Best Regards
Don
 
pembroke3355 said:
I cannot agree more. I came here and acted like a arsehole and was rightly put in my place. Just follow some rules and show the proper respect that the FOG'S and everyone deserves and you will find this is a wonderful place with really helpful people.

In the 2 months here I have learned more about cigars and how to store them(I thought I knew alot :blush: ). I have also learned alot about how to be a member of a community and not a self-centered person and I have alot of people here on CP to thank for that.

Best Regards
Don
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That's it in a nuthell!
 
Sounds like the "lurker" has low self-esteem issues. Too bad he feels that way. CP is actually quite tame and very friendly. The other forums cover up anything bad by deleting threads/posts. CP offers the real deal, a real community, not a false sense of being like many of the others. ;)
 
Rod said:
Sounds like the "lurker" has low self-esteem issues. Too bad he feels that way. CP is actually quite tame and very friendly. The other forums cover up anything bad by deleting threads/posts. CP offers the real deal, a real community, not a false sense of being like many of the others. ;)
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I don't know what this lurker guy is talking about. I have noticed new people getting corrected but only because they deserve it IMO.

I think Rod hit it on the head, low self esteem.
 
Well, I've lurked my ass off here, it took me over a year after joining to post an intro. I post mainly at another board that happens to have quite a few members that are members here as well, but it has fewer regular posters and less going on.....not a bad thing for me, just different. I see alot of you at some boards I frequent as a lurker.

This is a large board, lots of information, lots of "happenings", large numbers of extremely knowledgeable and generous BOTL's, and many with long histories here and obvious personal friendships. This, in and of itself, can be intimidating........like filling up the Saturday foursome when Elmer gets sick. I find that, in my noobiness, I rarely have anything "new" to say as regards cigar content........and yeah, in this rather sophisticated (not meant negatively) environment I hesitate to offer reviews, etc.....(again, not meant negatively). I've not joined a pass or completed the newb sampler trade here, and I don't think my post count qualifies as active member so B/S/T forum is a no go as well. I have no issue with that and respect the rules here.

Would I PM any member and ask for a source.......no. Would I maybe PM and ask for advice on something specific other than a source......yep.......maybe introduce myself and see if a trade can be worked out....yep. I don't see anything wrong with that. If the member chose not to trade with me, or objected to my PM they could ignore it or reply to that affect......no harm, no foul.

I have never in my time here witnessed an unjustified attack on a newby.........correction and/or clarification to the degree dictated by the newb's attitude....you betcha', as it should be.

Can't believe I posted twice in one day.
 
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