Practical Joke for The_unchecked Scrutinizing Assholes .. Ideas

Blue Dragon

Can't Re-Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2005
Messages
2,101
*Disclaimer* .. Some links definitely not PC.

My new found job has me travelling a TON, and I am becoming more and more frustrated with TSA. I was flying back home from Reno tonight, and was surprised at how mellow TSA seemed. .. And then I got home and unpacked my bags. .. Yup, There was the TSA note, tucked under my shoes. And you know, now I am not even really sure why, but in the process of unpacking, I opened up my 15 count travel humidor and took a gander. Probably because the rest of my clothes looked surprisingly in place, but my cigar box and lighter had been put in different areas. So I take a gander and sure enough, I'm light two cigars. In particular two having traveled quite a distance to get here. .. I was and still am shocked. TSA deemed it necessary to take two of my cigars because, what ... the bands indicated they were fucking explosive??? I've been travelling for years and never run into this issue. I'm guessing he figures there won't be any repercussions because they might be contraband? ... So after a little mental debate I decided not to raise any flags over this issue w/ TSA, at this time. *(However I reserve the right to change this stance after discussion with legal counsel.)

But for the time being .. I'm thinking a little practical joke is in order! I remember reading about a way to help people, aka my Mom, quit smoking ... put a horse hair in their cigarettes and they will hate the flavor of the cigs. So ... see where I'm going with this? ... I still have a couple fakes sent to me for testing, and I have a myriad of bands floating around in empty cigar boxes. So now the question is, what to do to the cigar so it will mess up his world? I'm open to suggestions but note:

- Can't contain any explosives, as that might get me flagged at the airport for other reasons.
- Can't be detectable by human sight or smell, otherwise, the surprise would be ruined.

I want the guy to be an inch into the cigar, and then BAM!, something kicks his ass! ... Like Ipecac .. make him hurl! Do you think that exists in a powder form? .. Or Iocane Powder!

...

Well, that was cathartic!
- Cheers!
 

mmburtch

Sleep deprived and cranky
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
4,873
You could always carefully remove wrapper and binder, insert one of those dried up mice you find when cleaning out the garage. Re-roll and viola! Voice activated digital recorder in the suitcase would be fun as well.
 

Smokyballs

The nap master
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
2,514
Get a travel humidor you never want to use again. Fill a tupperware box with rebanded dry dog rockets, urinate in a humidifier, let them suck up the piss. Move the pissgars into the travel humidor. The cigars should stink but not as bad as you might think. They probably will stink a little less than a fresh handroll. Or you could try several variants of this with different liquids. Paint thinner, mineral spirits, expired milk, expired fruit juice, baby formula (make up a bottle, let it set outside for a few days), drain cleaner, bleach, or the coupe de grace, eye drops! Undetectable and will seriously make someone sick.
 

BlindedByScience

Proud Father of a brave U.S. Marine
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
9,212
Get a travel humidor you never want to use again. Fill a tupperware box with rebanded dry dog rockets, urinate in a humidifier, let them suck up the piss. Move the pissgars into the travel humidor. The cigars should stink but not as bad as you might think. They probably will stink a little less than a fresh handroll. Or you could try several variants of this with different liquids. Paint thinner, mineral spirits, expired milk, expired fruit juice, baby formula (make up a bottle, let it set outside for a few days), drain cleaner, bleach, or the coupe de grace, eye drops! Undetectable and will seriously make someone sick.
....dude, so much hate...!!....:p
 

bmwblock

New Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2011
Messages
3
Get som old dog rockets, roll the smoking/mouth ends in dog, cat, human doo doo lightly. The hope the TSA smoker enjoys them.


*Disclaimer* .. Some links definitely not PC.

My new found job has me travelling a TON, and I am becoming more and more frustrated with TSA. I was flying back home from Reno tonight, and was surprised at how mellow TSA seemed. .. And then I got home and unpacked my bags. .. Yup, There was the TSA note, tucked under my shoes. And you know, now I am not even really sure why, but in the process of unpacking, I opened up my 15 count travel humidor and took a gander. Probably because the rest of my clothes looked surprisingly in place, but my cigar box and lighter had been put in different areas. So I take a gander and sure enough, I'm light two cigars. In particular two having traveled quite a distance to get here. .. I was and still am shocked. TSA deemed it necessary to take two of my cigars because, what ... the bands indicated they were fucking explosive??? I've been travelling for years and never run into this issue. I'm guessing he figures there won't be any repercussions because they might be contraband? ... So after a little mental debate I decided not to raise any flags over this issue w/ TSA, at this time. *(However I reserve the right to change this stance after discussion with legal counsel.)

But for the time being .. I'm thinking a little practical joke is in order! I remember reading about a way to help people, aka my Mom, quit smoking ... put a horse hair in their cigarettes and they will hate the flavor of the cigs. So ... see where I'm going with this? ... I still have a couple fakes sent to me for testing, and I have a myriad of bands floating around in empty cigar boxes. So now the question is, what to do to the cigar so it will mess up his world? I'm open to suggestions but note:

- Can't contain any explosives, as that might get me flagged at the airport for other reasons.
- Can't be detectable by human sight or smell, otherwise, the surprise would be ruined.

I want the guy to be an inch into the cigar, and then BAM!, something kicks his ass! ... Like Ipecac .. make him hurl! Do you think that exists in a powder form? .. Or Iocane Powder!

...

Well, that was cathartic!
- Cheers!
 

Blue Dragon

Can't Re-Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2005
Messages
2,101
Get a travel humidor you never want to use again. Fill a tupperware box with rebanded dry dog rockets, urinate in a humidifier, let them suck up the piss. Move the pissgars into the travel humidor. The cigars should stink but not as bad as you might think. They probably will stink a little less than a fresh handroll. Or you could try several variants of this with different liquids. Paint thinner, mineral spirits, expired milk, expired fruit juice, baby formula (make up a bottle, let it set outside for a few days), drain cleaner, bleach, or the coupe de grace, eye drops! Undetectable and will seriously make someone sick.
Yea, that is a very good point!

Note to self about bombs from Brad.
OMG .. I busted up for a good 5 minutes! .. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :thumbs: You do have a good point there.

You know the terrible thing? ... When packing for this next trip, I found the two "missing cigars" in the top of my singles humidor. I forgot that I repacked my gars and put those aside. DOH! .. ***Note to self*** Never make any decisions at 3am when having had little sleep and little food all day. :blush:
 

PJ the Comic

Official Illusione Whore
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
1,168
Get a travel humidor you never want to use again. Fill a tupperware box with rebanded dry dog rockets, urinate in a humidifier, let them suck up the piss. Move the pissgars into the travel humidor. The cigars should stink but not as bad as you might think. They probably will stink a little less than a fresh handroll. Or you could try several variants of this with different liquids. Paint thinner, mineral spirits, expired milk, expired fruit juice, baby formula (make up a bottle, let it set outside for a few days), drain cleaner, bleach, or the coupe de grace, eye drops! Undetectable and will seriously make someone sick.
Yea, that is a very good point!

Note to self about bombs from Brad.
OMG .. I busted up for a good 5 minutes! .. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :thumbs: You do have a good point there.

You know the terrible thing? ... When packing for this next trip, I found the two "missing cigars" in the top of my singles humidor. I forgot that I repacked my gars and put those aside. DOH! .. ***Note to self*** Never make any decisions at 3am when having had little sleep and little food all day. :blush:
Ha that's funny right there Corey. As we all know retaliation is never the wise course. You would have never gotten the same guy with a retaliatory strike even if some one would have taken a couple from you. Stay positive........always!

PJ
 

rob300c

The Big Noobowski
Joined
Oct 24, 2005
Messages
3,665
Corey,

I think you are a bit nuts for putting cigars in your check in baggage.
You are begging some schmuck from the TSA to 'confiscate' your cigars.

Everytime I travel I carry them on.
In the large possibility of a delay I can even smoke one!

YMMV!

-Rob
 

{tpc}

Professional Poker Tournament Loser
Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
2,059
I agree with rob on this one. I always pack my travel humi in my carry on stuff. Seems to keep my mind at ease that way lol.
 

MrAnderson41

Cool Story 'Bro!
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
856
I don't mean to completely highjack this thread but to you guys that fly all the time what do you do for a lighter or do you just bring matches with you?
 
Top