So many Thoughts going through my head right now!

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
However, not one of them has to do with what you'd like me to bring you for Christmas this year. As Mother Claus was fond of telling the family: "You'll eat what I make, or you'll go to bed hungry". I loved that woman.

In the spirit of what it is you think I do, though, go ahead and tell me what it is you like. Let me pull my sack out and root around down there. I'll tell you what... If the elves messed up again this year and packed something for @cabaiguan juan, I might whip it out and give it to you. He is getting all of jack and shit from me this year. John thinks it was an elf he was talking to on the internet. Well, he was mistaken. Again.

So, go ahead. Lay it on me (no one likes to go to bed hungry).
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Haha! Whelp, despite using a screw, snap ring pliers, wire cutter, etc., I could use an inexpensive nub stabber. The wife was complaining just yesterday that the tape measure was wreaking of cigar smell. That or some of your classic cigars Santa. Those pineapple flavored swisher sweets went well with Ms. Clause's 'Nap Time Herbal Supplements' last year!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Is this a duel thread?
Oh, no, my boy. I'm just tired of you trying to pick up my elves this close to Christmas. I'll deal with you in a separate thread, young man.

Also, I've been hitting the eggnog tonight, so pay no mind if I'm a totally different Big Red next time we talk. This is some good shit.

But, really. Stay away from my little green guys!
 
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Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Haha! Whelp, despite using a screw, snap ring pliers, wire cutter, etc., I could use an inexpensive nub stabber. The wife was complaining just yesterday that the tape measure was wreaking of cigar smell. That or some of your classic cigars Santa. Those pineapple flavored swisher sweets went well with Ms. Clause's 'Nap Time Herbal Supplements' last year!
You wish to stab your nub, do you? No wonder your wife was breaking out the tape measure... Maybe I should be bringing HER the gifts and toys, instead? Well, let me see what sorts of short, stabby things I can find around here. No more pineapple flavored smokes this year, I'm afraid. It seems the rage this season is all White Claw and patchouli.
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Ho! Ho! Hoooooooo! I hope you are still being a good boy, Bradley. Get ready, because it is going to be a white Christmas for you: I've sent a sleighload of White Owl, White Claw, and White Castle your way! I had to outsource the delivery, what with the population growth, and all. You didn't make it on my personal flight plan this season but, with any luck, a few more old people will will head to the Really North Pole this coming year and you'll move on up the list. Maybe I'll be seeing you in person next December!

Anyway, pop your peepers at this little numeric launch code, and I'm told you can watch your gifts come from the workshop all the way to your house. Bitchin' technology! I need to keep the Missus away from this; all I need is for her to be able to watch me stop-by-stop...

9405503699300187393642

I sure hope that these delivery people are prompt and reliable, or those burgers may be delivering their own presents to you. The fries should still be good, though ("White Castle fries only come in one size"). Enjoy, my boy!

Ho! Ho! Hooooooo!
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Ho! Ho! Hoooooooo! I hope you are still being a good boy, Bradley. Get ready, because it is going to be a white Christmas for you: I've sent a sleighload of White Owl, White Claw, and White Castle your way! I had to outsource the delivery, what with the population growth, and all. You didn't make it on my personal flight plan this season but, with any luck, a few more old people will will head to the Really North Pole this coming year and you'll move on up the list. Maybe I'll be seeing you in person next December!

Anyway, pop your peepers at this little numeric launch code, and I'm told you can watch your gifts come from the workshop all the way to your house. Bitchin' technology! I need to keep the Missus away from this; all I need is for her to be able to watch me stop-by-stop...

9405503699300187393642

I sure hope that these delivery people are prompt and reliable, or those burgers may be delivering their own presents to you. The fries should still be good, though ("White Castle fries only come in one size"). Enjoy, my boy!

Ho! Ho! Hooooooo!
hahahaha, this killed me.
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Hey Santa. I saw you start the trip over, then got stuck at the customs facility in the Bermuda Triangle. Hoping you used Rudolph to hide the illegals, he’s kinda stuck up anyway. Was wondering if you had heard anything?
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Ah, patience, my boy! Maybe I should have kept you on the Naughty list, after all. I see that my outsourced transport service isn't the most reliable at keeping their clients up to date; that's the government for you, I guess. Fear not, though: Good things come to those who wait. Well, something will come to those who wait, anyway...

All things will be revealed in time. Hang in there, my boy!

Ho! Ho! Hooooooooo!
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Ah, patience, my boy! Maybe I should have kept you on the Naughty list, after all. I see that my outsourced transport service isn't the most reliable at keeping their clients up to date; that's the government for you, I guess. Fear not, though: Good things come to those who wait. Well, something will come to those who wait, anyway...

All things will be revealed in time. Hang in there, my boy!

Ho! Ho! Hooooooooo!
Right on Santa! Will do
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Ho! Ho! Hooooooo!

I've worked a little bit of my North Pole magic, and had a look-see at where your parcel is currently at. My sources ensure me that you should be getting a delivery very, very soon. Hang in there, my boy!

SC

*I won't be upset or offended if you want to regift those little burgers by the time they get to you...
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Ho! Ho! Hooooooo!

I've worked a little bit of my North Pole magic, and had a look-see at where your parcel is currently at. My sources ensure me that you should be getting a delivery very, very soon. Hang in there, my boy!

SC

*I won't be upset or offended if you want to regift those little burgers by the time they get to you...
Haha. I’m sure the ‘plume’ on them will be better than McDonald’s itself Santa. Thanks!
 

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Ho! Ho! Hoooooohhhhh, boy...

Well, Bradley, it seems 'Ol Saint Nick may not be such a saint and needs to be placed on the Naughty List this year. I had the elves check into it again yesterday, and it seems that though the present was shipped, someone in the Windy City has had their hands on your big package for about a week now. Contact was supposed to have been made early yesterday, and with any luck it made it on a Boeing Sleigh headed your way last night (unless that Boeing was grounded by the FAA, too...). Now, with a whole bunch of Christmas magic you'll get a delivery today, but the pessimist in Santa doesn't want to get your Nice List little hopes up. So, I would realistically expect something on Thursday or Friday.

So sorry, my boy. I've informed that guy Tinder, who is running this thing, that things are running a little behind. Hopefully he swipes your way and relays an update, as well.

"We're from the government", they said. "We're here to help", they said... Last time I trust a federal circus to do the job. See, this is why Santa lives off the grid up here in the sovereign, unincorporated North Pole!

So! So! Sorrrrrryyyyyyy!
 

thinde

Lobstah; the other white meat!
Sometimes even your best efforts aren’t enough to get you through. You had great communication with me through pm’s and here in your thread. The package was actually shipped early. IMHO there’s nothing you should have done differently so let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. I know Brad is relatively new to our community but I think he realizes the depth of our commitment to this site, our honor in our transactions and our general comradely.

I hope the both of you and your families enjoy the holidays.
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
You have been nothing but nice and greatly informative throughout this process Santa. I am nothing if not super excited to see the gift. This year we are focusing more on the girls and we had to get the wife a new phone cause hers busted, so that’s it for the holidays. So trust me when I say that even if it comes halfway through February that I will still be acting like it’s Christmas morning when this awesome package makes its way here!
 

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Package arrived the day after Christmas! I was so freakin excited, you woulda thought I was the one coming down the stairs to see my presents from Santa under the tree. This is an amazing gift my friend. I am so excited to start digging into this package and sharing it with my girls. The souvenirs are so f$#king neat too. An amazing package Santa. This is definitely more than worth any present I could have gotten myself and I greatly appreciate it!
 
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