Super Bowl DR Review #4: Gurkha Kukri


One Leg Of Fury.
As we are all sitting at home right now worried about this novel coronavirus, I figured it was time to bust out the one thing that I KNEW would kill off any Covid-19 bugs that may have found their way into my home: the Gurkha Kukri corona.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that this fine stick came in its own unique presentation bag:


This is probably the most tolerable of the five, uh, winnings, though that's like saying catching the coronavirus is more pleasant than ebola. So, I busted out my PPR (personal protection equipment) and paired it with a nice warm can of Hawaiian Punch. Because, honestly -- it's a Ghurka. The fuck's it really matter what I pair it with?


The construction on this one was not too shabby, honestly, if one overlooks the viens, stems sticking out of the foot, or the bunched wrapper by the triple cap that was expertly applied off-center by virgin hands. Now, this is the fourth cigar I'm smoking out of the Super Bowl Dog Rocket wager, and I'm seeing that these so-called virgins sure do get around. I'm beginning to question their virtue...

I went with a deep V cut from the Colibri, because, let's face it -- it's a Gurkha. The fuck's it really matter what I cut it with? Pre-light cold draw presented notes of hay and sweaty leather golf gloves. When I think of this cigar, the image I get is of some once-a-quarter smoker trying to impress his fellow golf buddies with his high end cigar. I used the torch to light this one, and the initial impression was that of hay, cardboard, and overcompensation. My coronavirus protective equipment provided a nice opportunity to re-experience each puff for 10 to 15 minutes. I should try this more often.


I was instantly transported back to when I used to live across from the golf course when I was stationed on Guam. Not because of the golfing aspect (which I never partook in), but because people would always let their dogs crap in the grass on the side of the road where I lived. You know how a certain smell can bring all sorts of memories flooding back? Well, I could almost feel the water splashing off me as I attempted to spray the dog shit off my shoes. Once some of the smoke cleared from my facemask and I was brought back to the here and now, I noticed a slight angle to my dangle. Sort of the way @smellysell complains he bends to the left just a little bit:


The Kukri produced ample smoke and burned pretty evenly, which surprised me. I mean, let's be honest -- it's a Gurkha. The fuck does one really expect from this cigar? As we moved into the final third, the stick produced essences of Certified Pre-Owned Lexus and Dri-Fit collared golf shirts. They were fleeting, but definitely there. It continued to burn well, and only needed a touch up once I had impaled it with the cigar tool. The ash continued a lean to port, though, and I thought briefly of contacting @smellysell to see if his doctor recommended anything to him on how to correct this phenomenon. But, honestly -- it's a Gurkha. Who the fuck even expected it to burn this far? "Not I", said the asymmetrical panda.


I had to remove my protective gloves once it reached this final third, but as I said earlier -- it's a Gurkha. I'm probably immune to shit that ain't even been discovered yet after smoking this thing all the way down. My only hope is that this thing doesn't cause my own cigar tool to gain a leftward heading. Unlike @smellysell.

Overall smoking time was right around 40 minutes. Definitely not box-worthy, but I may have discovered a cure for coronavirus.


One Leg Of Fury.
Ha. Thanks, guys. Them's my dog-walkin' shoes. We walk through the woods, and with how much it rains here there's no keeping shoes clean. I own an obscene number of pairs of different colored Chucks, so if I'm leaving the house for anything besides walking the dog, I change them out for a spiffier set.