I suppose you shouldn't threaten a guy who flys around delivering presents with antiaircraft fire in the form of ranch bottles. We all saw your accuracy. He has probably outsourced to a trucking company. Good thing you don't live in Colorado.
I guess I should have told those joyful little shits to put a pair of reading glasses in with whatever they sent you. I told you that it will get there when it gets there. If I knew you were going to be so much trouble, I would have pawned you off on the Easter Bunny.