Black and Mild

Black and Mild

I had an interesting experience this weekend. Some friends and I took the subway (yup, LA has a subway) downtown to investigate an new and upcoming “hot spot.” The bar, called Seven Grand, is billed as a Whiskey Bar, and the menu did not disappoint. There were easily 50 bourbons on the front of the menu and as many Scotches on the back. My jacket pocked was stocked with a handful of robustos in case we got the chance to test-out the very nice smoking patio, which is even more rare in LA than a subway station. Of course the conversation and libations ended up being too absorbing to light-up, and I resigned my self to “next time” when, low and behold, my party was unexpectedly joined by some friends in town from Indiana for a wedding, and my buddy Steve invited us out for a smoke. I didn’t know that Steve was a smoker so this was a pleasant surprise until I saw him pull out the cardboard pack of “Black and Milds” from his jacket pocket.

I’m no stranger to the drug-store cigar brands so I had a pretty good idea of what I’d be in for, but I’m not one to turn down a smoke. Plus I was 4 glasses of Bourbon into the evening. I accepted the cello-wrapped smoke with a smile and I gladly put the plastic tipped “cigar” to flame, trying hard to hide the wincing. What happened in the next ten minutes surprised me. The ‘cigar’ wasn’t horrible.

Sure, the petite but potent machine-made could never be confused with a handmade 100% tobacco cigar, but it wasn’t as offensive to my soul in the way the Grape White Owl, or the nearly forgotten Swisher Sweets from my college days were. In fact, I found that I actually enjoyed the smoke. Not in the way one enjoys a cigar, but rather like a big, vanilla flavored cigarette that I didn’t inhale. I finished my last drink and stubbed out the smoldering Black and Mild at about he ½-way point and we called it a night.

I was honestly stunned at how un-horrible the smoke was, and my bourbon-dulled mind wandered into the territory of, “maybe I should pick up some of these for when I can’t squeeze in a ‘real’ smoke…” Then the real surprise started to hit me. The overwhelmingly vanilla smoke-smell started to creep up my throat and into my nostrils. I felt like Peter Parker getting overpowered by the Black Costume. My night went from being pleasantly buzzed to being overwhelmed by the acrid stench of chemical vanilla. I could do nothing as my mouth dried out and all I could smell, taste, and see became the horrific Black and Mild. As I sobered up, spurned on my panic that I would never taste anything BUT, the Flavor only become stronger. I made it home, tipped the cabbie, and rushed into the bathroom to brush my teeth and scrub my hands. Twice.

I STILL could taste nothing but the ghastly odor. The reek stuck, not only to my clothes and hair, but to my SKIN and even to my very sprit. I smoked a camel cigarette just to escape, but all was for naught. I decided to sleep it off, but I woke up the next morning with the flavor still overwhelming my every taste bud. It took a Rouge Brewing co ‘Brutal Bitter” IPA, a Gran Havana Corojo robusto, and a burger covered in blue cheese to finally wash the stench from my pallet. I think I’m going to have to burn the clothes I was wearing.

Be warned my brothers: the Black and Milds are the work of a hell-spawned deamon.

Tough situation... I probably would have went the mildly rude direction and just humbly declined his gift...

cuppajack said:

I was honestly stunned at how un-horrible the smoke was...

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It all goes back to Moki's "What affects the taste of a cigar" thread. Good company, good times, good environment all lead to an increase in the enjoyment of the smoke.

Thanks for an amusing account! I have never smoked a Black & Mild but not I probably never will.

Wilkey

tomthirtysix said:

cuppajack said:

I was honestly stunned at how un-horrible the smoke was...

Click to expand...

It all goes back to Moki's "What affects the taste of a cigar" thread. Good company, good times, good environment all lead to an increase in the enjoyment of the smoke.

Click to expand...

True enough. I'll admit that probably fifteen years ago or so, when my grandfather was still alive, I sat down with him, dropped a couple of lines into the water, and as we were fishing, he gave me one of his El Productos and Old Milwaukees. That gorgeous spring day, with my abuelo who is long since passed, I had one of the best cigars and beers I have ever had to this day.

I won't lie, one of the best smokes I ever had was a black and mild.

It had nothing to do with the cigar, it was entirely the atmosphere. I was with some of my best friends and we were "celebrating" with a buddy of ours who had just broken up with his girl friend of 2 1/2 years (he was glad to have broken up with her).

Needless to say we were well inebriated and feeling good so by that point any smoke would of been incredible.

I've smoked PLENTY of black and milds in my day(still would if somebody offered me one) and never had the problem your speaking of! Never heard of the problem either, and that's what most people smoke in the clubs around here. I don't understand. Better yet, I'm going to call..bullsh%t ! I find the black smell better than most cigars and DEFINITELY better than cigarette smoke. The smell is somewhat sweet like pipe tobacco. Go ahead and admit it..you can't handle your liquer

jeht2000 said:

"The smell is somewhat sweet like pipe tobacco."

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I'm not positive, but I think they are rolled with some type of cheap pipe tobacco.

I haven't experienced the horrible scent and taste he's talking about immediately after smoking it, but a few hours later the smell is much worse than most of the cigars I have ever smoked.

jeht2000 said:

The smell is somewhat sweet like pipe tobacco.

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I would have to say it's very close to a similarly named pipe tobacco, Captain Black (in the gold, pry top can for those who remember).

If I could buy bundles of Black and Milds, I would. Since I smoke cigars, a number of other students assume that they can get an el cheapo from them to roll a blunt with. After I explain to them the impossibility of such a venture, they usually go away. Maybe I should buy up some BMs and sell them for above retail value when people are in a crunch...

Nice recap. Back when I started to experience the better drug store cigars I used to hunt rabbits with an old man who became pretty special to me. He told me that back in the woods, with the dogs, a "Backwoods" was the smoke to have rather than them there fancy smokes (A&C Grenadier). This became a joke among the group and I would often look over at him during the long chase, listening to the dogs a mile way, and he would wink at me and tip his cigar at me! I miss him, and I'm sure he has smoked the pack I put in his coffin by now!

CigarStone said:

better drug store cigars

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??? ??? ???

I'm confused. I haven't seen these "better drug store cigars" you mention.






:laugh:

Ahhh, black and milds, one of the first "cigars" I ever had prior to actually having real cigars. To this day, it is my favorite cheap cigar out there. And if your a fan of these, try buying "fast breaks". They're mini black and milds and are meant for you to smoke while on break at work, hence the name.