Apologies

[Matty_Vegas]

A few months back I got caught lurking, and did not plan on posting anything. Rod shot me a message being the classy guy he is. I realize I ruffled alot of feathers and I wanted to openly apologize to the membership as a whole for what happend. As far as the cigar side of thing..that was resolved months ago. I am willing to take my lumps, but I do have a wealth of knowledge and think I have alot to offer Cigarpass as a whole. However I realize I may have burned all my bridges here, and if that is case then so be it. There are a few of you who I legitimately miss chatting with, and all i was trying to go was to catch up with them as quietly as possible. If my reputation here is shot, then there is no purpose for me posting here at all. However I would like the opportunity to show everyone the stand up guy I am, thank you for your time.

 

[moki]

I guess my only question is... Why didn't you just do this?

 

[Matty_Vegas]

I wanted everyone to see my apology

 

[Sweetrice80]

Regardless of what he did in the past, he is not going to please everyone. Yes he should have handle things differently and he may never get some guys respect back. But I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance. If someone does not feel that his apologies were good enough for you (in a general sense) then simply just do not say anything, unless a newer situation came up that needs addressed. I however believe in second chances, I have looked back through his history, he seemed like a stand up guy that a lot of people looked up to. He should get a chance to make that same kind of impact in the future and to educated others on how not to make his mistakes. Lets just let Matt start a new leaf whether you agree or not, there is no point in beating a dead horse on old issues that he already apologize for.

David

 

[grateful1]

Regardless of what he did in the past, he is not going to please everyone. Yes, he should have handle things differently and he may never get some guys respect back. But I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance. If someone does not feel that his apologies were good enough for you (in a general sense) then simply just do not say anything, unless a newer situation comes up that needs to be addressed. I, however, believe in second chances. I have looked back through his history and he seemed like a stand up guy that a lot of people looked up to. He should get a chance to make that same kind of impact in the future and to educated others on how not to make his mistakes. Let's just let Matt start a new leaf. Whether you agree or not, there is no point in beating a dead horse on old issues that he already apologize for. <---prep?

David

I am glad you did some reading up on the subject.

Now the writing part...

 

[moki]

I wanted everyone to see my apology

Well, that doesn't answer my question, though... specifically regarding the SS situation:

This makes no sense, in my opinion. Regardless of any situation you might have been in, you could have simply contacted NorCalCigarLover to tell him you had to drop out, and everything would have been fine.

I really fail to understand how this can be considered anything other than negligence. If you've fallen on hard times, and have no stash of cigars you draw from to send out to your SS kid, then do the honorable thing... communicate the issue to David, and bow out.

I don't get it.

 

[Sweetrice80]

Regardless of what he did in the past, he is not going to please everyone. Yes, he should have handle things differently and he may never get some guys respect back. But I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance. If someone does not feel that his apologies were good enough for you (in a general sense) then simply just do not say anything, unless a newer situation comes up that needs to be addressed. I, however, believe in second chances. I have looked back through his history and he seemed like a stand up guy that a lot of people looked up to. He should get a chance to make that same kind of impact in the future and to educated others on how not to make his mistakes. Let's just let Matt start a new leaf. Whether you agree or not, there is no point in beating a dead horse on old issues that he already apologize for. <---prep?

David

I am glad you did some reading up on the subject.

Now the writing part...

Glad to see you being an English professor there Gary. I generally do not take offense of many things. I will just put it this way, if you would know what I had to go through to be able to write the way I can today, would not have made such a post, intended or not. Again, I am not backing anyone, here, Moki and you both Have your opinions. I just choose the "if you do not have anything nice to say do not say it at all", I know what Matt's crime was. I know how he did it, I also know that I never will do such a thing to another Brother. I am saying just let this go. No, we will never forget, but can we forgive?

 

[opusXmarco]

I missed something good...anybody have CliffNotes?

 

[steamboat]

Epic fail at Secret Santa.

Bungled appology.

Goodbye sweet world, you will never see me again.

Forum police caught him lurking, Book him, Dano!

Henceforth this thread, appolgy attempt #2.

If I left anything out, I am sure someone will step up to put things right

 

[grateful1]

Regardless of what he did in the past, he is not going to please everyone. Yes, he should have handle things differently and he may never get some guys respect back. But I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance. If someone does not feel that his apologies were good enough for you (in a general sense) then simply just do not say anything, unless a newer situation comes up that needs to be addressed. I, however, believe in second chances. I have looked back through his history and he seemed like a stand up guy that a lot of people looked up to. He should get a chance to make that same kind of impact in the future and to educated others on how not to make his mistakes. Let's just let Matt start a new leaf. Whether you agree or not, there is no point in beating a dead horse on old issues that he already apologize for. <---prep?

David

I am glad you did some reading up on the subject.

Now the writing part...

Glad to see you being an English professor there Gary. I generally do not take offense of many things. I will just put it this way, if you would know what I had to go through to be able to write the way I can today, would not have made such a post, intended or not. Again, I am not backing anyone, here, Moki and you both Have your opinions. I just choose the "if you do not have anything nice to say do not say it at all", I know what Matt's crime was. I know how he did it, I also know that I never will do such a thing to another Brother. I am saying just let this go. No, we will never forget, but can we forgive?

That's the kind of crap that get's most folks into hot times.

Not you saying what you did...but by people NOT saying things that may 'hurt' someone's feelings.
I am not referring to direct attacks on folks. Instead I am referring to telling people the truth.

An onslaught of new folks came to CP with high ideas.
They weren't happy with what they found and the whined so much the wheels got greased...and then the SLIDE started.

As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greeted with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

As for the grammer and such, I've seen you write properly.
I guess you missed the

. Maybe it should have been a smiley

.

:blush: greated

 

[moki]

Glad to see you being an English professor there Gary. I generally do not take offense of many things. I will just put it this way, if you would know what I had to go through to be able to write the way I can today, would not have made such a post, intended or not. Again, I am not backing anyone, here, Moki and you both Have your opinions. I just choose the "if you do not have anything nice to say do not say it at all", I know what Matt's crime was. I know how he did it, I also know that I never will do such a thing to another Brother. I am saying just let this go. No, we will never forget, but can we forgive?

I'm simply asking for an explanation of something that I think is very reasonable. Why did he not simply communicate with NorcalCigarLover and avoid this whole mess?

I've asked the question several times, it's been dodged with mealy-mouthed apologies instead of real answers. If you're seeking re-acceptance, offer a truthful explanation, not a generic, vague, lame apology, IMHO.

 

[CigarStone]

Glad to see you being an English professor there Gary. I generally do not take offense of many things. I will just put it this way, if you would know what I had to go through to be able to write the way I can today, would not have made such a post, intended or not. Again, I am not backing anyone, here, Moki and you both Have your opinions. I just choose the "if you do not have anything nice to say do not say it at all", I know what Matt's crime was. I know how he did it, I also know that I never will do such a thing to another Brother. I am saying just let this go. No, we will never forget, but can we forgive?

I'm simply asking for an explanation of something that I think is very reasonable. Why did he not simply communicate with NorcalCigarLover and avoid this whole mess?

I've asked the question several times, it's been dodged with mealy-mouthed apologies instead of real answers. If you're seeking re-acceptance, offer a truthful explanation, not a generic, vague, lame apology, IMHO.

I think Andrew's question here is a good one. I think it was Tom (BBS) who said that it's common practice here for CP to accept an outright apology and move on. Had Matty ever stepped up and said "you're right Andrew, I got wrapped up in..................and I failed to do the right thing" there would likely have been a bunch of :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: and this issue would be behind us.

 

[Jonesy]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

 

[MX]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

This right here is my second main point of concern. The first is giving no real explanation for working over SS the way he did. Now, I understand that there may be some issues that are private in nature, but he could have worked it out with NorCal.

I am all for second chances, but IMHO, he took his second chance and drug it out the door along with his ball......

Again in this thread we are starting to see newer members trying to weigh in on matters that may be best left alone. We all have opinions, and we are all entitled to them, we are not however, pause for effect, entitled on this board to throw them around. That right is earned, not given with your membership.

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?


Just my thoughts, wanted or not....

Tim

 

[Devil Doc]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

This right here is my second main point of concern. The first is giving no real explanation for working over SS the way he did. Now, I understand that there may be some issues that are private in nature, but he could have worked it out with NorCal.

I am all for second chances, but IMHO, he took his second chance and drug it out the door along with his ball......

Again in this thread we are starting to see newer members trying to weigh in on matters that may be best left alone. We all have opinions, and we are all entitled to them, we are not however, pause for effect, entitled on this board to throw them around. That right is earned, not given with your membership.

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?


Just my thoughts, wanted or not....

Tim

You mean Sweetrice? Don't pay him no mind. He's always stickin' his nose where it don't belong. That boy ain't learned nothing in the time he's been here.

Doc.

 

[moki]

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?

I agree with you that it's good he's offered an apology. What I don't understand is why he didn't simply (the first time, or the second time, or the third time) explain truthfully what happened, and why he didn't just contact NorcalCigarLover asking to bow out of the SS.

It's not that I want the guy to throw himself on his sword, it's just that if I'm ever expected to trust someone again, I'd like to hear more than a mealy-mouthed apology (no matter how many times it is repeated), and instead a reasonable explanation of why he didn't simply do the honorable thing and bow out of the SS altogether.

Even if the explanation is simply "I'm sorry, at the time I just didn't give a shit. Now I know it was wrong to do that, blah blah" that's fine. I just think that no matter how many times an empty carte blanche apology is offered, it's still not particularly satisfying.

But as you said... opinions may differ. I'm sure Matty Vegas is a nice guy, many of you have met him -- I'm just asking him to man up and explain the situation.

 

[mmburtch]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

This right here is my second main point of concern. The first is giving no real explanation for working over SS the way he did. Now, I understand that there may be some issues that are private in nature, but he could have worked it out with NorCal.

I am all for second chances, but IMHO, he took his second chance and drug it out the door along with his ball......

Again in this thread we are starting to see newer members trying to weigh in on matters that may be best left alone. We all have opinions, and we are all entitled to them, we are not however, pause for effect, entitled on this board to throw them around. That right is earned, not given with your membership.

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?


Just my thoughts, wanted or not....

Tim

You mean Sweetrice? Don't pay him no mind. He's always stickin' his nose where it don't belong. That boy ain't learned nothing in the time he's been here.

Doc.

Everything here is spot on in my opinion. We're all big boys and girls, and have the right to pick and choose who we want to hang out with (family and soulpuppy excluded). If you want to be Matty's new BFF, go for it. Most of us are going to wait and see if he is willing to answer Moki's question, baring that explanation, nothing else really matters to me.

 

[moki]

A perfect example. I have a purchase going on another board. On Monday I told him that I'd send a MO out to him "tomorrow" (ie, Tuesday). Well, I was busy Tuesday and I didn't send it out... so I sent him a PM on Tuesday apologizing for not getting it out, I explained why, and I said I'd get it out to him on Wednesday. Which I did.

The key is that I communicated with him, and I explained the situation to him. I didn't wait a few weeks, then PM him numerous empty apologies, and never explain or make good on the situation.

Everyone makes mistakes; life intervenes sometimes. Man up, communicate, explain the situation truthfully, and make good on the situation to the best of your ability. Repeated apologies with no explanation is just embarrassing, IMHO.

 

[half full monty]

Hey Matty-

You helped Swissy and I out with a box split many moons ago and asked for nothing in return. I appreciate that. Here's my advice, and it's worth what you have paid for it. :blush:

You have messed with Cigar board kharma, an abyss that few have returned from. Why is that? Because their ego is bigger than their character flaws and they are doomed to repeat their mistakes.

I believe Moki has actually provided you with a crack in the door back. You have to admit to yourself, via the board, that you acknowledge your character flaws, the behavior it drove and the results it inflicted. This needs to be done publicly, not out of any sense of humility or embarrassment, but to prove you understand why you did what you did. Otherwise, you are destined to repeat your behaviors. Those of upstanding character do not relish these tasks, but like a nurse in a hospital, must do so for the health of the patient and the community.

Then you will have to go back to the task of proving through your actions that you have learned from your mistake. Not through bombs and pat on the back posts in the lobby, but through comraderie and selflessness. This will take time and lots of it. But hey, I came here five years ago and I'm still a noob.

Hope things work out for you in the long run.

Cheers.

 

[insight]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

This right here is my second main point of concern. The first is giving no real explanation for working over SS the way he did. Now, I understand that there may be some issues that are private in nature, but he could have worked it out with NorCal.

I am all for second chances, but IMHO, he took his second chance and drug it out the door along with his ball......

Again in this thread we are starting to see newer members trying to weigh in on matters that may be best left alone. We all have opinions, and we are all entitled to them, we are not however, pause for effect, entitled on this board to throw them around. That right is earned, not given with your membership.

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?


Just my thoughts, wanted or not....

Tim

You mean Sweetrice? Don't pay him no mind. He's always stickin' his nose where it don't belong. That boy ain't learned nothing in the time he's been here.

Doc.

Everything here is spot on in my opinion. We're all big boys and girls, and have the right to pick and choose who we want to hang out with (family and soulpuppy excluded). If you want to be Matty's new BFF, go for it. Most of us are going to wait and see if he is willing to answer Moki's question, baring that explanation, nothing else really matters to me.

barring imo