Clean Joke for today

[Gunpowder]

Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him.

"See here, old fellow," said Jesus kindly, "this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be blissfully happy! What's wrong?

"Well," said the old man, "you see, I was a carpenter on earth, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him. Maybe you've seen him around, he had holes in his hands and feet."

"Tears sprang from Jesus' eyes. "FATHER!" he cried.

The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, "PINOCCHIO!"

 

[Gunpowder]

A man walks into the Skyscraper Bar, located on the 50th floor. He walks up to the bartender, asks for a drink and comments on how great the view of the city is from up here.

"That's not the only thing special about this place" said a customer nearby. "Follow me" And he took him to an open window.

"You see," said the customer "The wind blows around this building in such a way that if you jump out of this window it will carry you all the way around the building and throw you right back in."

The man who was new to the bar looked nervously out the window, "hmm...I don't think I'll try it, thanks."

"Need proof?" asked the customer. And with that he jumped right out the window and sure enough was carried completely around the building and right back through the window right on his feet. "See, I told you!"

"That's incredible!" said the new man, "I've gotta try this!" So he jumped out the window and plummeted 50 stories to his death.

The bartender ran to the window, hid his eyes and then looked with disgust at the customer and said, "You know what, you're a real dick when you're drunk Superman."

 

[Mrepp]