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f my life

AdriftPanda

AdriftPanda

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
226
Fmylife.com is a freaking funny site if you want to hear how some peoples day are going. Check it out if you're bored.
 
Some of the situations are so ridiculous, there's no way they could be made up. :D
 
I would be joining you fine gentlemen, but they have now blocked it at work after one days use.
 
Joebiech said:
I would be joining you fine gentlemen, but they have now blocked it at work after one days use.
Click to expand...


Hahah that right there is funny! Mine got denied a few weeks ago but here it goes I'll share you guys especially for you Joe since you can't view it at work. This happened last year...


Today, I decided that it was necessary to go to a Oakland A's game drunk. As I was in the bathroom, there was guy wearing a L.A. Dodgers hat in the next stall. I thought it would be awesome to start trash talking his team, after about 10 seconds the guy starts to laugh and points down near my pants... I forgot to unzip. FML

??? Damn it!
 
Hi, my name is twizz, and I'm an addict.

I'm going to live on this site now, it is effin FUNNY!!!

Heres one that made me fall out of a chair:

Today, my fiance's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. I'm a vegetarian. They had names. FML

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "ni**er." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

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Changing the auto-correct in word is one of the best pranks ever. This site rocks!! Now I have something to do in my newfound unemployment!!
 
Hahaha isn't this site awesome if you have a few minutes to spare? I've been using this site for the past few months and figured it was to to share it with you guys, enjoy!
 
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML


hahah


-Gianni-
 
NO!!!! If you only have a few minutes, don't dare go near this site. I've been on it for an hour....

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking." FML
 
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML


-Gianni-

Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


-Gianni-
 
Wow what a site. Half the time I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I laughed.
 
FML is awsome, if you got the time read down the "Top FML" one, 95% golden even at page 20.
 
Heh... blocked at work. Probably a good thing as I would spend too much time reading those things! :D
 
This site is awesome:

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theather. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML


Epic.
 
I think this should be a daily thread, where we all post our favorite(s).

Mine for the day:

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole. I got it." in plain english. FML

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Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML
 
Some of these stories are so absurd that they have to be made up.
 
My girlfriend showed me this site a few days ago. I would say shes pretty addicted, I read a few and was like these are fake and lost all interest. She however always has it open when I walk by her laptop.
 
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