Been away for awhile ... So, A CONTEST

[fca_blake70]

Yo momma's so old, she remembers when Doc was young...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Yo mama so greasy she got a job at the cinema ...buttering popcorn with her leg hair

 

[MoeCizlak]

About the only two I haven't seen posted yet but are classics:

Yo mamma so fat when she puts on her belt she has to use a boomerang.

Yo mamma so fat when she wears a red dress people yell "HEY, KOOL-Aid"

 

[thevalkrye]

My buddies joke:

Yo mamma so fat she must be American!

Sorry guys!

 

[Fatken]

My buddies joke:

Yo mamma so fat she must be American!

Sorry guys!

Oh Yeah? Yo mamma so fat when she jumps in the air she gets stuck!

Ken

 

[AVB]

Yo Mama so stank, she was playing in a sand box and a cat came along and buried her.
Yo Mama so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Yo Mama so fat that she stepped on the scale and it said 'To be continued...'.
Yo Mama so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.
Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death.
Yo Mama so greasy she uses bacon as a band-aid!
Yo Mama so ugly... so damn ugly... she could only be......................yo mama!

 

[investandprosper]

Yo mamma's so fat, she got hit by a bus and yelled "Who threw the rock?!"

 

[wkoti]

Yo momma is so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot!

Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins then a Chinese Phone Book! Oldie, but a goodie!

Yo momma is so ugly, not even Tom will be her friend on MySpace! Oh yeah!

 

[MadMonk]

-Your momma is so fat, they have to use aerial photography to take her picture.

-You were such an ugly baby, your momma sat you in the corner, and fed you with a sling shot.

-Your momma was so dumb, she thought you had one eye, and bad breath, until she realized she was carrying you upside down.

-If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt, and teach him to walk backwards.

 

[cigarsarge]

Yo mamma is just like a Pizza Hut Delivery Pizza...Cheesy...Greasy...And comes in less that 30 minutes.

Yo mamma is so fat when she wears her Malcom X tee shirt helicopters land on her.

 

[PetersCreek]

For those familiar with airfield operations, here's one told to me by a ROKAF maintenance troop almost 3 decades ago:

Your mother drives a "Follow Me" truck.

 

[PJ the Comic]

Yo momma is like a shotgun, pump her and she blows!

Yo momma is so fat her bowl of cheerios has its own lifeguard!

I would have been yo daddy but the dog beat me over the wall!

I would have been yo daddy but yo mama didn't have change for a nickle!

Yo mama is so poor I asked to use the bathroom at your house...bitch handed me a shovel and pointed to the back yard!

Yo mama is so poor your family car has a kickstand!

Yo mama is so poor in the corner at yo house there was 3 rats and a roach singing "we are family"!

Yo mama is so poor she tried to get on the bus with a receipt!


PJ

 

[anvil]

Yo momma so damn ugly on Holloween kids come to the door say trick or treat and give HER the candy.

Yo momma so ugly, the crips and bloods use her picture to do drive by

Yo momma so dum, she ask me which letter a di alphabet come after X, me sey Y, and she sey "cause I wanna know."

Yo momma so dumd she asked what kinda jeans Im wearing, I said Guess, she said I dont know?

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Thanks for the contest mate.

 

[4cbln3]

Yo momma so old, powdered milk shot out of her tits when she breastfed you!

Welcome back and thanks for the contest!

 

[vortex]

Yo momma thinks she's a chicken. You'd turn her in but you need the eggs.

 

[AVB]

Certainly the oddest one so far. ???

Yo momma thinks she's a chicken. You'd turn her in but you need the eggs.

 

[PJ the Comic]

Yo mama is so poor, when you ring the doorbell at your house the toilet flushes!

Yo mama is so dark she went to night school and they marked her absent!

Yo mama is so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of Ball Park Franks!

Yo mama is so skinny she rolls her hair with rice.

Yo mama is so stanky, the bitch used secret and it told on her.

Yo mama is so fat when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

 

[wkoti]

Yo momma is so fat, her blood type is Ragu!

Yo momma is so fat, I rolled over twice and still wasn't off her!

 

[b.dawgson]

Yo mamma so skinny, she can hang glide on a Dorito!

Yo mamma so fat, I told her it was chilly outside and she grabbed a bowl and spoon!

Yo mamma so fat, her belt size is equator!

Yo mamma so fat, "BVD" on her underwear now says "BouleVarD"

 

[4cbln3]

-You were such an ugly baby, your momma sat you in the corner, and fed you with a sling shot.

I'm gonna use this at one of the guys at my station and see if I can run faster than him!

 

[jnknzz]

Yo momma's head so oily, she gets her caps from BP...