• Hi Guest - Sign up now for Secret Santa 2024!
    Click here to sign up!
  • Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

*Contest* Pick Up Lines - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

BigJake6904

Fat Texan
Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
4,415
Every once in awhile Instead of looking at jokes with plots, or anything funny that requires "too much" reading, I find it entertaining to jump in and read some funny one liners. Every once in awhile, you stumble onto something rather witty and can get quite a hoot of off some short reads.

Not to mention, we've all (at one point or another) been in a situation where you had to get that elusive females attention. So let's hear it, whether it's Good, Bad, or Ugly...what's one of your favorite pick up lines? Or rather, what's the most desperate attempt at a pickup you've ever witnessed?

Here's some of mine...

The Good:
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

The Bad (But funny):
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

The Ugly:
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?


***Notice - Contest (Updated)***
I'm going to turn this into a contest that will run until tomorrow night (Wednesday) until midnight CST.

There will be two winners....the most creative and witty pick up line, and the worst one that would literally get you slapped.

Let's keep it clean guys, no insane amounts of vulgarity.

Everyone that posted so far can post again, and have a shot at redemption since I just came up with this idea.

Rules:
1) 1 post (those that posted above may edit their post if they wish to change it for a contest)
2) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum, we can be funny and witty without the "F" word 3 or 4 times in one line
3) Decision will be made Wed. night after midnight, and prize packages will go out Thursday morning.
4) Edits are allowed before the cutoff time, any edit after midnight CST on Wed. will be disqualified
 
That a bottle of windex in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.
 
Bruce Willis invented the best pickup line on Earth.

Yeah, you'd think "Hi, I'm Bruce Willis" would be enough, wouldn't you? :rolleyes:

Anyway, this is his: "So . . . what are you doing for sex tonight?"

Perfect. She freaks, it was just a joke; she doesn't, you're SO getting lucky! :D

~Boar
 
Going to throw a twist in here that I never thought about. I'm going to turn this into a contest that will run until tomorrow night (Wednesday) until midnight CST.

There will be two winners....the most creative and witty pick up line, and the worst one that would literally get you slapped.

Let's keep it clean guys, no insane amounts of vulgarity.

Everyone that posted so far can post again, and have a shot at redemption since I just came up with this idea.

Rules:
1) 1 post (those that posted above may edit their post if they wish to change it for a contest)
2) Keep the vulgarity to a minimum, we can be funny and witty without the "F" word 3 or 4 times in one line
3) Decision will be made Wed. night after midnight, and prize packages will go out Thursday morning.
4) Edits are allowed before the cutoff time, any edit after midnight CST on Wed. will be disqualified

The initial post will be updated with the rules.
 
Don't be afraid if a big fat white guy grabs you and puts you in a bag, because I asked Santa for you for Christmas.
 
"Excuse me ... but does this smell like chloroform to you?"


Excellent idea.
This should be fun.
Cheers...
 
In college, my buddy used this line on a girl in a bar one night:

'You wanna go back to my place for a pizza and a f*k?'

'No', she replied.

'What's the matter, don't you like pizza?', he said.

The line didn't work, but we laughed our a**'s off the rest of the evening.
 
Well after many years working in a bar.

Mind you these were said to me, some by males, some by females ;)

"I'll give you my gold card if you take that off" (from a man to me)

"Wanna f*&%?" (from a goregous girl to me)

"My friend and I want a 3some and you would be perfect" (she was with a gay man and wanted the 3some)

"I'm gonna take you back to Oklahoma with me" (got stuck at a hotel with the OK cheerleaders, what a memory)
 

The Good:

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

The Bad (But funny):
Are you a gardner, 'cos I want to put your tulips and my tulups together

The Ugly:
I can't make a cherry pop, but I can make a banana cream
 
This only makes sense to those that know:

How much is the bar fine?
 
Used with success on a cute little bartender in Sydney:

"What time do you get off...and can I give you a hand with that."
 
Heres a bad one for you




Did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
and
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
 
Place a packet of pure sugar on the bar and say "Excuse me Mrs. you dropped you name tag". Or you can just whip out your junk and ask if she notices some thing she might be interested in. Then duck the incoming slap.
 
Am I happy to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket? :blush:
 
Top