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Texas Turtle Attack

PuroBrat

I am not here :^)
Joined
Apr 2, 2002
Messages
4,227
I have been out in the country for a few days, due to the ceiling falling in in the kitchen at my wife's weekend get away place.

We headed back today and came upon what I first thought to be an Armadillo dragging a barn cat across the rood real slow like. When I got closer I discovered that it was instead a Turtle, about 16" across his shell, with feet like gator toes and a tail that was about a foot long and looked like it could break the legs of small mammels with a swish.

I stopped the car to look at it and decided that he was so big that a car hitting him could easily be flipped. So I decided to get him off the road. This was my first mistake. I got behind this humongous turtle and pushed him toward the roadside with my foot. At the touch, he jumped 6" off the pavement, turned on my foot and almost got my toe.

Here is where I discovered that I have happened on an Old and quite crotchety Snapping Turtle. :love:

So I try again, and again he leaps and turns on me, with me barely able to retract my foot before it is clamped in a jaw that measures a good 4" across. Oh, here is an idea, I have been walking with a cane for a while now, and I decided to use my cane. When Snappy saw the cane close to him, he immediately attacked it, got the crook of the cane in his mouth and proceded to yank it from my grasp, where I was left holding only the rubber tip that came off in the strugle.

So I says to myself, I gotta win here, my wife and kids are watching (or were they laughing, it sounded like laughing :angry: ). Well I managed to get the bend of my cane away from Snappy and used it to flip that heavy SOB on his back, and boy was he mad. Did I mention he had claws about 3" across and long sharp nails at the ends of his toes? :0

So I get in front of him and offer the cane, he did not hesitate to chomp down, this was good, so I drag him by the mouth to the side of the road and then when he let go of the cane, I flipped him back over on his huge, and quite deadly looking feet. He just sat there looking at me as I got in the car and drove away. I have never been so glad to see a turtle in my rearview mirror in my life. So why did I so much want to go back, get him in a dog carrier and bring him home to keep as a pet ??? :p

By the way, this sounds a lot simpler than it actually was, the whole ordeal took over 20 minites and made my daughter late for Gymnastics, owing mostly to the fact that this guy scared hell right outta me, and I... sortof...uh...proceeded with caution.

If my wife says I kept running from him and squeeling like a Girl, she lies!!! :lookup:
 
Bad turtle Bad turtle.....my brother got whacked by a small snapper in CT, had to have it surgically removed from his hand. From what they saw they have jaws like pit bulls, lock down and thats it until they want to let go.

-P-
 
What the HELL is the matter with you "good ole boys" in the Lone Star State? :0

Don't you know enough to stay the heck away from snapping turtles? :p

When they are that big they are dangerous. Us New Englanders are astute enough to let these guys do their own thing and stay out of their line of fire.

I saw a 2 1/2 foot snapping turtle in the road a few years ago and I, as you PB, thought it would be best to get him out of the road before he caused a car to flip over :p

I gave him a couple of swift kicks in the butt (from the BACK ONLY) and got him off the road but as you know, when they are that big they have LONG NECKS :0 and they can do some serious damage to your appendages.

You just keep to hearding longhorns and leave the snapping turtles to us ;)
 
I had a turtle incident as a kid and had no idea at the time just how lucky I was. When I was in the eigth grade I worked a little on a farm for a elderly neibor of ours. We were driving near a pond on his farm when we spotted a huge turtle in the road headed for the pond. The guy slammed on his breaks and told me to go get it before it got away, he wanted to eat the dang thing! Well I hopped out in a hurry dead set on my newly assigned misson and promptly grabbed the monster by the tail. It was already into the grass by now and was dead set on his orginal misson of hitting the water. Lucky for me the monster had a one tracked mind. I held on as tight as I could while the old geezer was getting his shovel out of the back of the truck, but the dang thing just kept going at the same speed as if I wasn't even there at all. I was in eigth grade, how ever old that is, and always a bigger then average kid at that, at it just kept going. I dragged me down an imbankment, on my butt, with my feet out in front of me the whole time, and right out into the water with him. Once in the water there was a lot of wiggling and splashing and I let go and got back out of the water as fast as I could, now very wet indeed. I climbed back up the bank wondering how I could have lost our little tug of war tournament only to fing the old geezer far less then impressed with my efforts and very vocal about it as well.

Once home my parents were at first very concearned about the possible loss of apendages, but then very amused by my futile effort. After relaying the story to many friends of theirs it became somewhat shocking just how many friends we had in the cummunity (Ord, Nebraska) that enjoyed turttle soup and hard boiled turttle eggs. Some even provided us with samples to taste test after that, but I just never could bring myself to try any of it.

See PB, you should have led it by the cane right into your soup pot. :thumbs:
 
I have heard of people eating SoftShelled Turtle, but not Snapping Turtle. Besides, this old fart Turtle would have been very tough, and very Gamey :D
 
Damn, that was one of my escapees :)

Do you think you can still find him ??

I use them to keep the damn yankees out of Texas !!
 
mpingree said:
I use them to keep the damn yankees out of Texas !!
Don't worry, this yankee stays on the north side of the mason-dixon line.



Too bad the wife did not have a camera.
 
In Texas there's two kinds of people,
Texans and damn ferners. (thats foreigner's in Texan) :D :D
 
Joe said:
Too bad the wife did not have a camera.
The wife scrambled to get to it, and was wishing she had a Video Camera. I, on the other hand, am delighted she did NOT have either. ;)
 
I know why you felt an afinity for the turtle, you both are moving at the same speed :p :p :p
 
Snappers are something you don't want to play with unless your equiped for the job. You mention the claws on their feet PB, also be aware that the neck on one that size is about 10" to 12" long and about as quick as a snake to strike. :0
 
Snapping-turtle-2-l.jpg


Here is PB's snapper :0 safely on the other side of the road :thumbs:



Here is one that was not so lucky :(

turtle.jpg
 
We have some goofballs here in Tennessee who go holeing. In other words they enter a pond or lake and go around it sticking there hands in holes around the edge. They pull out large turtles and catfish. :0


Still not much intelect in some areas of the south. :sign:
 
We have some goofballs here in Tennessee who go holeing. In other words they enter a pond or lake and go around it sticking there hands in holes around the edge. They pull out large turtles and catfish. :0


Still not much intelect in some areas of the south. :sign:

They do that here in OK as well. It's called Noodling and I've heard some stories about some serious fish. Oh, and also guys loosing fingers as well.
 
LMAO :sign:

Good problem solving w/ that flip to back followed by cane drag. Well though out.
 
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