Alright Stanky Fish... I mean Stan K Phisch

[MNBrian]

I received a curious package today...

Naturally, being a straight up badass, I didn't shy away from this meager attempt to throw me off. First I opened the bread and made a house.





And I don't care that the pictures are sideways. I was busy with my bread house okay?

Then I cracked the lid on the fishy stank.



It smelled like fish for sure. So I ate some because I'm tough and smoke cigars in weather like this -



With a porch that looks like this -



And then I dumped out the fishy mayo and dug out this strange object -





Then I started wrenching at that damn pipe for a while with a vice grip until I grabbed this -



And when that didn't work - this



And after twenty minutes with the torch and fifteen with the sawsall and nearly breaking my concrete steps... i have this to show for it...



A charred and barely cut closed paperweight. Touché mister Phisch.

Clearly you recognize a badass when you see one. But I think you've outdone yourself. You made the pipe Viking proof...

Edited to add: I'm open to suggestions from the peanut gallery. Clearly Scap's plastic bag from Hugh Jorgan was preferable to the impenetrable fortress of this sealed lead pipe. Then again, I'm not a plumber or pipe fitter. Maybe there's an easier way to skin this cat.

 

[MNBrian]

Because my next idea is this - and my dog seems to agree...

 

[Not A Nice Person]

If one of these won't do it . . .

Then you need one of these:

And no, I'm not sure why she looks so excited. I'm betting that's not what she thought she was in for when they told her she'd be laying pipe that day, though.

~Boar

 

[MNBrian]

Jeez. I don't have a pipe cutter big enough. I've just got the tiny ones for 1/2 inch copper pipe...

Guess i'll have to buy one...

Something about that pipe cutter just won't feel as good as a sledge hammer or burying it in a hole with a few M80's...

 

[oke&coke]

Ask Tall Paul. He went through this already.

 

[Scap]

Righty tighty, lefty loosie.

Get the pipe in a vise and unscrew the cap.
Heat won't do anything but ruin the prize inside.

 

[Scap]

If one of these won't do it . . .

Then you need one of these:

And no, I'm not sure why she looks so excited. I'm betting that's not what she thought she was in for when they told her she'd be laying pipe that day, though.

~Boar

I've seen creepy clowns that look less creepy than that second lady's face.

 

[Not A Nice Person]

I've seen creepy clowns that look less creepy than that second lady's face.

"We need you at about 7. You're like, dialed all the way up to 11 right now."

~Boar

 

[Scap]

"We need you at about 7. You're like, dialed all the way up to 11 right now."

~Boar

Its how i would imagine Lucille Ball on speed...

 

[Scap]

Jeez. I don't have a pipe cutter big enough. I've just got the tiny ones for 1/2 inch copper pipe...

Guess i'll have to buy one...

Something about that pipe cutter just won't feel as good as a sledge hammer or burying it in a hole with a few M80's...

Its 2" pipe, you don't have any real tools like Channellocks?

 

[Succubus]

You should try the 2" pipe wrenches, but looks like you may need 2 of them. Don't you have any man tools?

 

[MNBrian]

Tried two inch channel locks and a heavy duty pipe wrench. Neither could get it to budge. The mayo fused with the apoxy to create a super glue...

 

[MNBrian]

I gave up for the night.

 

[Scap]

Wuuuuuuuussss. Lol

 

[MichaelD]

Bahaha!!!

 

[MadMonk]

Two wrenches if you don't have a vice. On the floor, tighten one on the pipe, and let the handle touch the floor, to keep it from spinning, but hold down on it. Other wrench to turn the cap.

Just start knocking on neighbors doors until you get 2 pipe wrenches. Better yet, send your wife so the guys don't bust your balls.

 

[Scap]

This thread has taken such an entertaining turn.

 

[golfgar]

I'm thinking the sawsall may be the ticket but you need the proper blade. If the tops are threaded with glue you're pretty much screwed.

 

[Succubus]

So when you say fishy mayo, do you mean that there was fish in it or what?

 

[George Scott]

That mayo looked pretty chunky