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Because young people look stupid with a cigar or pipe in their mouths.

Im afraid he may be right

Pretty sure Doc is right yet again, but where does the old fart draw the line between old and young. I've yet to see him call anyone anything other than "young fella", except maybe Masshole.

Flatlander. You forgot flatlander.

Same reason why I think the the people that complain the loudest are vegetarians.