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Get a travel humidor you never want to use again. Fill a tupperware box with rebanded dry dog rockets, urinate in a humidifier, let them suck up the piss. Move the pissgars into the travel humidor. The cigars should stink but not as bad as you might think. They probably will stink a little less...
You still live in Oklahoma? You are still only 3 hours from me and the KC boys yet... You know, I could drive down there! Maybe sometime in the next 7 years? Congrats Brandon!
You know that might work in individual baggies. Snip the end and spread. Fill a piping bag with the spread and squeeze it into the baggies. Chill them and put them in a cooler with some dry ice and ship them to, I don't know, Kansas City?