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A very sad day indeed. He will always be remembered. Will offer up a good one today.

Pets A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple...

30-Years What a Difference 1973: Long hair 2003: Longing for hair 1973: The perfect high 2003: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1973: KEG 2003: EKG 1973: Acid rock 2003: Acid reflux 1973: Moving to California because it's cool 2003: Moving to California because it's warm 1973...

A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range. The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, "Not bad, Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's...

Cleaning up after a procedure on a patient, the Army nurse leans over and gently whispers to the surgeon, " The barracks door is open, sir." Thinking nothing of it he heads toward the mess hall for some chow. While he's waiting to be served the soldier next to him leans over and tells him his...

. *JackAss* For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, when you just need to take it out on someone: Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don't* know! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make...

Three blondes (naturally) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was. The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter...

Here ya go. Linky

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a...

To qualify to become a private detective all you need to do is prove your powers of deductive reasoning. Answer this simple question... Fact #1 - Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. Fact #2 - They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ball park. Fact...

Two little boys are sitting in the living room watching TV with their parents. The Mother looks over at the Father with a wink and a nod toward upstairs. The Mother turns back to the two boys and says "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV. We'll be right back. Okay?"...

THE JACK SCHITT VIDEO MORE SCHITT

You must be trustworthy. Most places have security cameras that cover the store and humidor.

A Texas redneck.was stopped by a game warden in East Texas recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a river well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish." "Pet...

Women's Lib International Conference The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and...

The Fire Hose

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask you father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a...

I've got a couple nats and maddies left from 01. I'll be sorry to see these go. :( They will be replaced and I hope they age as well.

Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the bedroom where his wife is in bed, reading a magazine. "Honey," says Fred, "This is the pig I've been screwing when you're not available." "Fred," the wife says, "That's not a pig. That's a sheep."...

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances and coaching at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you,"...