Santa outsourced the delivery, that this is true
But he is happy to see the package made it to you
Enjoy in good health and with holiday cheer
Maybe a decent smoke to start the new year
When its all over and Secret Santa has run
Santa really hopes that all and you had fun
This Santa hopes...
You must be damn fantastic, thats all i'll say, but good for you. Had some special ops going and can share in the good news. my records indicate you have incoming and it looks like this: 9505 5126 8926 0351 4817 25. By the was, nice job with that stone. I hope you will enjoy the fruits of...
Brandon, it would seem the postal service is a bit of a mess right now. Rest assured, it is still on its way. Thankfully Mrs. Claus and I thought to poke holes in the box so the little critter could get some fresh air. If you don’t have it in the next few days, by golly I’ll have to deliver it...
Justin - my apologies for the late response. I've been waiting on a few of the "slower" elves, to get their shit together and get your things ready. I've got notice that the last part of your "Introduction to NAMBLA" gift, should get there by the 17th, then I'll have it out to you. In the...
Ho ho ho Gary! I hope you didn't think you were forgotten, oh quite the contrary. I'm on my way with your package and a few elves in tow. You can track my sleigh with this secret code, with just one catch. It only works if you're full of Christmas cheer sing it loud for all to hear! 9405...
Anthony,
Apparently Bert was able to find a few things he thought you appreciate, so we boxed em up and put em on the early sleigh. They should get to ya by this weekend. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, to you and your family.
SS
tracking# : 1Z1ER7360347057277
Greg, boy have I got something for you! This will hurt!!!!
I have been on a 7 day bender and need to sober up (alittle) before the big holiday soon. So I had to use my post man/he/him to deliver these packages. Thats right, you get two pieces of sh*t.
Enjoy brother, I can't wait to stare over...
Guess what!? Yeah, you've got a big long string of numbers coming your way...
9405503699300189300488
You've got a fun guessing game ahead of you, you can place things in order of yellowest wrapper first, or by the number of years since you've last even seen mention of a few of these smokes...
HO HO HO. My elves are on the case and a package is headed to your far away lands. Inside you will find an item from Santa's old stomping grounds, an item from Santa's new stomping grounds, and items I thought may be hard to find being so far away from home.
1ZA994R36708811369
💘 Saint Nick
On its way, Chester! It's going to be painfully obvious who it's from once you open it, so you don't get the real tracking info! Should be there Friday or Saturday! Happy Festivus!
Ok, John. This is headed your way. The postal elf told me 3-7 days, but also to take into account Corona and Christmas. You can follow the elves' progress with RC596086035CH. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and great New Year.
Ive got a feeling my elves may be dropping yours off a little early (Friday, Dec 18th).
Tracking number is 915375859247 (FedEx). Since you have been naughty anyway this year, go ahead and rip into it. I hope you find a few items that I picked out to be "tasty".
I even included a few...
Well here we go Ben, I am on my way. I told you I have what you want, and I wasn't playin'.
Sit tight and open up that chimney flue, I'm on my way.
9405 5036 9930 0187 6123 92
9405503699300186532677 - And no peaking on the tracker for this.
For sure there is coal in this package. But it ain't all bad. I hope USPS gets this to you in time for your return but based on how @CigSid's luck has been with overseas packages, it may not surface until 2024.
Merry...
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