Dawgie, this has shipped through a very trusting and reliable 3rd party; I think you down south call them the post office? They tell me it will arrive by Monday. I will update you if I am told otherwise!

In Santa's workshop, elves work with care, Rolling cigars with a festive flair. With nimble fingers and joyful cheer, They craft each one for Christmas near. Tobacco leaves, so rich and fine, Are chosen with love, a special sign. They wrap and roll, with skill so grand, Creating gifts for...

@Gator - Santa hopes that the porch pirates didn't get your package !

Well Mr Ash, ol Santa has been on one hell of a bender. So I'm letting the trusty elves in blue to make this year's delivery. Here's the a way to follow em. 9500114536674346511678 Merry Christmas!

Mañana?

Err, Tuesday…maybe? Would have been easier coming up through the southern boarder then the northern one.

Ok kiddo. You asked for it Youngest girl is getting a Barbie doll. Oldest is getting a learn to crochet kit. Your handsome husband is getting a chamomile relaxing tea kit so you can snuggle and do what ever you two do in a relaxed and tranquil state of mind and body. Of yeah the girls are...

The Elves are on it! Though they have been misbehaving and fooling around much more this year compared to last…probably my fault, took too much time off in the Caribbean this summer.

Fuck cookies, I want that!

My lawyers advised me to sue for trade mark infringement but I said No, let’s see where this goes.

I’m going to start sending you Christmas lists.

Caine. It’s not just snow up here. Something has to pay for this operation.

You’d be amazed how often this is asked for.

I often get asked how do I get it done in one night? This is my answer: my playlist is Wizards in Winter, on repeat and coke. Lots of coke. That’s how the shit gets done.

Monday, my man. Monday. Be ready.

Hey Joe! (it seems like I’ve heard that song before) I just wanted to give you a quick update. I found my top elf torcedor sitting in the corner giggling and eating Doritos. Turns out he’s been rolling left-handers! So now I’m a few days behind, but don’t worry, I’ve got my second best White...

I was just about to update you this morning....I smoked my last deer turd and had to order some very nice to replace it for you...might not get here till the 12th, so I be happy to update you on shipping when I get the heads up from my elves, or I will reach out to that other fat guy and get...

Nice rack

Jump on in, come one come @all, @Rod is the man that started it all!

I was afraid your wife would shoot them.