To all my friends, thanks to you sending me warnings, special offers, chain letters and urban legends in 2003:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I no longer go to the movies, for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants, because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I have stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
* I no longer eat chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like KFC and McDonalds can sell "chicken tenders" and Big Macs.
* I have stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny about that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all these missed opportunities were caused by a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow that gave me a curse from hell.
* Fortunately, I have a great opportunity to recover from all these missed opportunities. I can't say too much about it, but I have run across a deal with a lady from Uganda that will make me rich, just by using my bank account to broker some money arrangements.
:0
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I no longer go to the movies, for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants, because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I have stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
* I no longer eat chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like KFC and McDonalds can sell "chicken tenders" and Big Macs.
* I have stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny about that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all these missed opportunities were caused by a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow that gave me a curse from hell.
* Fortunately, I have a great opportunity to recover from all these missed opportunities. I can't say too much about it, but I have run across a deal with a lady from Uganda that will make me rich, just by using my bank account to broker some money arrangements.
:0
