You may have seen some of these before, but they're just as funny the next
time around.
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.
2 WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man
shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger
to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)
8 THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,
thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER.THIS IS TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
time around.
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.
2 WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man
shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger
to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)
8 THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,
thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER.THIS IS TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
