Cigar girls...

[Strayvector]

My .02

Unless you know me and know me well, don't call me names. I can refer to myself as a "Chink" and my friends can call me the same and there is nothing derogatory about it because we know each other well and know that there is no intent to malign. If someone I don't know well and overhears the banter that my friends and I engage in, then decides to use the same term to refer to me, my friends and I have a problem with that and a confrontation will happen.

As an example, (sorry to bring you into this, bro) lets take Ginseng. His member title carries the monniker "The Mellow Yellow Brutha", does that mean that anyone on the board can start referring to him as the "Yellow Man"? First person who does that and is not family, I'll jump on them and I'm sure many of you will do the same to come to his defence. This is exactly the same thing that Emo is doing with the "bitch" monniker. I'm sure that Cheekie has no problem with Emo calling her certain names and vice versa, but they have a relationship that is not shared with us.

I myself have a problem with with the original posting of "Attention Whore". Not with the words, but the intent of the post itself. Its plainly uncalled for because if you don't know that person, then your intent can be misconstrued as offensive and a means to agitate that person. A recent thread with Matty_Vegas has illustrated how humor and intent can be lost in written words and we should all take a lesson from it to think about what we want to say, the consequences of it, and how to post it prior clicking that "Add Reply" button.

 

[SamClemmons]

How many of you DIDN'T see this coming? Don't worry your admission will be held in the strictest confidence.

NA

 

[ggiese]

<snip>

If a " brother" lost his way would you not use reason to enlighten? Why pick up the nearest stone if it is a sister?

<snip>

It seems that the minute a "lil woman" has a word to say about anything that isn't in Agreement there is an uproar. :0

<snip>

[snapback]276478[/snapback]​

I'm not sure your "brother" vs "sister" argument has merit. If you've been reading threads on this boards for any length of time (other than your own) then you would know that:

1. Reason is rarely used to enlighten the way of a newbie who has lost it.

2. There is a general uproar whenever anyone (male or female) expresses an opinion that is outside of agreed upon norms.

In other words, you're being treated just like the rest of us.

And for the record, I agree with Tommy that you seem to like attention. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what? It's a name that has a unique meaning on this board, and is not meant to imply anything of a sexual nature. As you stated in your post, "this is not the real world at times and thus the real world rules do not apply." This is a good example of that.

[snapback]276496[/snapback]​

You really come up with this shit and hide behind the good guy moniker? Stir it some why dontcha? And how is asking an honest question outside the norm? The answers are actually outside the norm. After reading your crap for so long, it is obvious to me that you are on the fringe here. Your post had merit, until you said "I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what?" now it is just stirring the pot.

Emo

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Perhaps I was trying too hard, Emo. My post was meant convey 2 ideas:

1. It is naive for one to expect to be treated differently from others here when they post, regardless of gender. (And, as I believe I've made clear on numerous occasions, I don't agree with how folks are often treated.)

and

2. The term "attention whore", as used by Tommy, was not intended to disparage Cheekie in a sexual manner.

[snapback]276557[/snapback]​

So, by the qute I amde in itallics, you were rally trying to show her the way? It deosn't matter is %99 of the post is a great point. The %1 of "perceived crap" makes the rest of it pointless. Something to consider.

Emo

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That is a good point!!! 99% of the post is right on the money, but toss the baby out with the bathwater because 1% of the post is offensive??? Shift the focus of the post to the negative because something in that post is found to be offensive by the reader and post this???

You really come up with this shit and hide behind the good guy moniker? Stir it some why dontcha? And how is asking an honest question outside the norm? The answers are actually outside the norm. After reading your crap for so long, it is obvious to me that you are on the fringe here. Your post had merit, until you said "I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what?" now it is just stirring the pot.

I read Steve's post and agreed 100% with it. I didn't find offense with that one line in italics, so therefore the message has meaning to me but not to at least a couple of others? That is WAY too subjective to me...

Cheekie - are you offended because someone called you an "Attention Whore", or is it the "whore" part of that which makes you uneasy. I'm not sure where you are on that issue...

 

[Lee]

You never answered the question about your member title Cheekie. What is you're message with that statement?

 

[emodx]

How many of you DIDN'T see this coming? Don't worry your admission will be held in the strictest confidence.

NA

[snapback]276576[/snapback]​

LMAO, I saw it coming. But what is a man to do? LOL

 

[emodx]

<snip>

If a " brother" lost his way would you not use reason to enlighten? Why pick up the nearest stone if it is a sister?

<snip>

It seems that the minute a "lil woman" has a word to say about anything that isn't in Agreement there is an uproar. :0

<snip>

[snapback]276478[/snapback]​

I'm not sure your "brother" vs "sister" argument has merit. If you've been reading threads on this boards for any length of time (other than your own) then you would know that:

1. Reason is rarely used to enlighten the way of a newbie who has lost it.

2. There is a general uproar whenever anyone (male or female) expresses an opinion that is outside of agreed upon norms.

In other words, you're being treated just like the rest of us.

And for the record, I agree with Tommy that you seem to like attention. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what? It's a name that has a unique meaning on this board, and is not meant to imply anything of a sexual nature. As you stated in your post, "this is not the real world at times and thus the real world rules do not apply." This is a good example of that.

[snapback]276496[/snapback]​

You really come up with this shit and hide behind the good guy moniker? Stir it some why dontcha? And how is asking an honest question outside the norm? The answers are actually outside the norm. After reading your crap for so long, it is obvious to me that you are on the fringe here. Your post had merit, until you said "I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what?" now it is just stirring the pot.

Emo

[snapback]276520[/snapback]​

Perhaps I was trying too hard, Emo. My post was meant convey 2 ideas:

1. It is naive for one to expect to be treated differently from others here when they post, regardless of gender. (And, as I believe I've made clear on numerous occasions, I don't agree with how folks are often treated.)

and

2. The term "attention whore", as used by Tommy, was not intended to disparage Cheekie in a sexual manner.

[snapback]276557[/snapback]​

So, by the qute I amde in itallics, you were rally trying to show her the way? It deosn't matter is %99 of the post is a great point. The %1 of "perceived crap" makes the rest of it pointless. Something to consider.

Emo

[snapback]276561[/snapback]​

That is a good point!!! 99% of the post is right on the money, but toss the baby out with the bathwater because 1% of the post is offensive??? Shift the focus of the post to the negative because something in that post is found to be offensive by the reader and post this???

You really come up with this shit and hide behind the good guy moniker? Stir it some why dontcha? And how is asking an honest question outside the norm? The answers are actually outside the norm. After reading your crap for so long, it is obvious to me that you are on the fringe here. Your post had merit, until you said "I personally wouldn't have applied the "Attention Whore" tag, but if I had, so what?" now it is just stirring the pot.

I read Steve's post and agreed 100% with it. I didn't find offense with that one line in italics, so therefore the message has meaning to me but not to at least a couple of others? That is WAY too subjective to me...

Cheekie - are you offended because someone called you an "Attention Whore", or is it the "whore" part of that which makes you uneasy. I'm not sure where you are on that issue...

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My point is this, take a minute to read what you you typed b4 hitting the submit button. It may sound right in your head. Read it and see if can be misconstrued. I have learned, either say something positive, or say something negative to make the point. Using both at the same time lessens the impact(or validity) of the statement.

Emo

 

[Cheekie]

Cheekie..... You are taking this way out of context. That term is used alot on this BB to identify people who post here just to say "look at me".... there is nothing about it that is sexual.

You are acting like one of the other newbies who come in here and want everything change to suit them....

Wether you like it or not this BB is 99.9% men and things will be said that you do not like..... don't take it as personal attack.

Instead of getting all pissed off about the "Attention Whore" title.... why don't you say to yourself.... "Why did he use that towards me?"

[snapback]276535[/snapback]​

I am glad that you took the time to respond, and that being said I am done with the topic. I understand your point of view as to why it is ok but, lets consider that you said something that was not called for. You could have answered the question or topic, but there was no need to call me anything, even if you don't agree with me find another way to express your disdain to my posts, better yet don't read em, put em on iggy-

and to answer your rhetorical : let's ask why is it OK for anyonte to use that term towards someone else. Hell you want to call yourself that have at it, don't call me that. ( period )

[snapback]276541[/snapback]​

Cheekie..... I believe you are here for one reason and one reason only.... an attempt to become involved in a "hobby" that your boyfriend is involved in. That is very noble of you..... But don't expect us to change just because a woman has walked in......

Would it have better if I called you an "Attention Bitch" because "bitch" is what you have under your Avatar?

[snapback]276563[/snapback]​

Hey hun- Here is the lowdown, what you think right now is irrelevant!
I am here now deal with it, no whining! Don't like it there is the iggy button, STOP tryin to bait me.
I don't expect you to change because a woman walked in, I expect you to respect the woman who has walked in. Don't expect me to change because you don't like what I have to say, or you can't wrap your mind around what the message I am offering. If you feel the need to be hateful and use my words against me, well then that truly shows where your head is at.

 

[KayakinBoy]

You never answered the question about your member title Cheekie. What is you're message with that statement?

[snapback]276578[/snapback]​

I don't get it either. ???

 

[grand cru no 2]

Cheekie-

"I am here now deal with it, no whining! Don't like it there is the iggy button"

Now this sure is arrogant of you. I haven't seen anyone tell you to leave. I haven't seen anyone express a problem with you being here.

This type of post IMO illustrates your hunger for attention.

 

[BlindedByScience]

Emo, I don't think you're able to rationally deal with this because of your relationship with Cheekie. To be honest with you, that stuff has no place here.

[snapback]276526[/snapback]​

...agreed.

+ Yes, new members should suck it up being a FNG before running off at the gums.

[snapback]276338[/snapback]​

WTF is that about? She was just putting in here 2 cents to show her side. Are you not smart enough to see she is agitated? Stirring it up further is the best idea? You sir are wrong in this post.

[snapback]276513[/snapback]​

Emo, you can't have it both ways. We can either express our ideas, freely, and let the chips fall where they may or get "net nannys" to edit, censor, moderate, limit, and ban anyone that gets over the white line a little.

I've got nothing against you or Cheekie personally, but this is just crazy at it's best and really hypocritical at it's worst.

FWIW - B.B.S.

 

[kevpriest]

This entire thread reminds me of why most cigar clubs were men only affairs for so long, and should have remained that way.

GGiese and BKCloud seem to be treating Cheekie as if she were "one of the guys", which is to say, bluntly and aggressively.

Emo, to whom I am very sympathetic, doesn't like to see a woman treated like a man. Nor do I.

But what's a fella to do? The hypocrisy is obvious, "Treat me like a guy, until I tell you not to". It diminishes everyone's ability to be candid. If you're a gentleman, then you're not treating her as an equal. If you treat her as an equal, then you're not being a gentleman.

Ugh,

Men only clubs are a good thing.

KevPriest

 

[emodx]

Cheekie-

"I am here now deal with it, no whining! Don't like it there is the iggy button"

Now this sure is arrogant of you. I haven't seen anyone tell you to leave. I haven't seen anyone express a problem with you being here.

This type of post IMO illustrates your hunger for attention.

[snapback]276592[/snapback]​

Actually, I know where the post came from, and it wasn't aimed at attention.

 

[Mrepp]

All I can say is wow. This deja vu all over again. It’s kind of a story but I’m going to share it and leave it at that. Where to begin, ah yes: Well growing up like many I had a good friend, known the guy 10+ years now. I honestly consider him family. Well he meet this gal, good looking fiery little Italian gal. Now this doesn’t seem important right? Oh but it was. See being from the family she, respect was everything and boy could she tear a new on anyone that questioned that. Then where was me, like my father and family I was a complete and utter smart ass. If there was a joke to be cracked of a funny comment to be made I was all over it like white on rice. Ah see now your starting to see where this is going eh? Let’s just say we didn’t get off on the right foot. In fact I believe she tried to stab me after I cracked a joke about her mom. Then I called her something along the lines of a crazy Italian bitch and my buddy got upset it just wasn’t a good situation. Then everyone else started there heckling where they really didn’t belong. But hey why not throw a log on the fire it might get good eh? Well I’m also a rational person like my father and decided to put the whole stabbing business behind me and get to know her. Show her what im about. I did that we were all out having fun, I was cracking jokes at myself and a few of the other people after awhile she was cracking them too. To this day me and her remain friends long after my friend and her broke up. Now how in the blue hell dose that long winded dumb little story relate you may ask? Well the way I read things the attention whore was a joke. It was meant as a joke and its hard to tell the nature of these things when its in text. The point being you ask? Words are just that, words. Definitions don’t do justice because it’s the spirit behind those words that count. I think with all the heckling this has gotten way out of proportion. Cheeki I can see plainly where your coming from but sometime you just have to laugh a little. Emo my man, doing what ya think I best in the defending role. Understandable but lets calm down a little bro, we don’t need any fists thrown in the bar over a few idle comment’s. I just hope you all can see how ridiculous this all really sound when you break it down. It’s easy to get caught up in the mess of emotion but just let it simmer folks. I mean really…

As far as the topic at hand I know several young gal’s that enjoy smoking cigars. Infect its become a problem for me because I’m a sucker for a pretty face and my collection gets raided regularly now.

-Mark

 

[emodx]

Emo, I don't think you're able to rationally deal with this because of your relationship with Cheekie. To be honest with you, that stuff has no place here.

[snapback]276526[/snapback]​

...agreed.

+ Yes, new members should suck it up being a FNG before running off at the gums.

[snapback]276338[/snapback]​

WTF is that about? She was just putting in here 2 cents to show her side. Are you not smart enough to see she is agitated? Stirring it up further is the best idea? You sir are wrong in this post.

[snapback]276513[/snapback]​

Emo, you can't have it both ways. We can either express our ideas, freely, and let the chips fall where they may or get "net nannys" to edit, censor, moderate, limit, and ban anyone that gets over the white line a little.

I've got nothing against you or Cheekie personally, but this is just crazy at it's best and really hypocritical at it's worst.

FWIW - B.B.S.

[snapback]276598[/snapback]​

Perhaps I am am biased on this. But I am beig rational. Not mad, not weirded out, not over emotional. And if you read my post about CP advisors, you will see I am over the "say what you want to say" crap because that is being abused. 1/2 of what is posted would never be said person to person. But get behind a keyboard and monitor and all bets are off?

Emo

 

[Allofus123]

I don't expect you to change because a woman walked in, I expect you to respect the woman who has walked in. Don't expect me to change because you don't like what I have to say, or you can't wrap your mind around what the message I am offering.  If you feel the need to be hateful and use my words against me, well then that truly shows where your head is at.

[snapback]276585[/snapback]​

First, I can't believe ANYONE, especially you Emo, would read into the Attention Whore picture anything more than what it was meant for. Anyone that has been around BB's know exactly what that means and to try and change the meaning of it to fit your argument doesn't hold water.

What really made me post was the above quote..... expecting someone to respect you just because you're a woman is too much. Respect is earned and I don't care what or who you are. Don't want your own words to be used against you? Huh?

Sorry, no special treatment for anyone no matter what gets your panties in a wad.

(Edited for spelling error corrections only)

 

[ggiese]

Hey hun- Here is the lowdown, what you think right now is irrelevant!

[snapback]276585[/snapback]​

What Tommy thinks is irrelevant, but what you think is all that matters?? Clearly you're of the mind that what anyone thinks is irrelevant, unless they agree with you. Don't like it - deal with it... This, in an of itself, is highly offensive. Much more offensive than the "whore" word.

I am here now deal with it, no whining! Don't like it there is the iggy button, STOP tryin to bait me.

[snapback]276585[/snapback]​

You keep saying, "there is the iggy button" but your words don't match your actions.

I don't expect you to change because a woman walked in, I expect you to respect the woman who has walked in. Don't expect me to change because you don't like what I have to say, or you can't wrap your mind around what the message I am offering. If you feel the need to be hateful and use my words against me, well then that truly shows where your head is at.

[snapback]276585[/snapback]​

You don't want us quoting your own words in response to the stuff you're spewing out - and that is considered "hateful"? In other words - "yeah, I said it - but so what? It suited my argument at the time, but you don't have any right use my words to create an opposing argument. There is an iggy button if you don't like it" C'mon...

Cheekie - another thing I'm "grasping" at trying to figure out - what is your contribution to this community? From this one post, it is clear to me that you have a one track mind - this community is much better because Cheekie has chosen to grace you with her presence!!! Keep the goodies coming, Cheekie will accept all good will!!! Bow down, Cheekie is holding court!!!

Would you please follow Emo's advice and read what you're about to post before posting...

 

[emodx]

This entire thread reminds me of why most cigar clubs were men only affairs for so long, and should have remained that way.

GGiese and BKCloud seem to be treating Cheekie as if she were "one of the guys", which is to say, bluntly and aggressively.

Emo, to whom I am very sympathetic, doesn't like to see a woman treated like a man. Nor do I.

But what's a fella to do? The hypocrisy is obvious, "Treat me like a guy, until I tell you not to". It diminishes everyone's ability to be candid. If you're a gentleman, then you're not treating her as an equal. If you treat her as an equal, then you're not being a gentleman.

Ugh,

Men only clubs are a good thing.

KevPriest

[snapback]276600[/snapback]​

Good points.

 

[BkCloud114]

Hey hun- Here is the lowdown, what you think right now is irrelevant!

[snapback]276585[/snapback]​

What I think is irrelevant ???

Respect on these BBs is earned.... You don't come waltzing in here expecting to be treated like everybody else just because you are someone's girlfriend.....

I don't think you have earned one ounce of respect on this BB...... if you don't know what I'm talking about..... then you don't "get it"

 

[SamClemmons]

What? You mean to say she hasn't paid the generosity forward? Really?

NA

 

[emodx]

LOL@"get it". I know where you mean by this, but respect should never have to be earned.