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Death, taxes, and the Bengals

CigarStone

CigarStone

For once, knowledge is making me poor!
Joined
Mar 7, 2007
Messages
12,164
Location
Northeast, Ohio
First Name
Jeff
There are very few certainties in life.

In life itself, it's death!

In our struggles to be successful, it's taxes!

In the NFL, it's the Bengals! And the Cowboys.......

If there are two leading underachieving teams over the recent history of the NFL it's the Cowboys and Bengals, or is it the Bengals and the Cowboys?

Every year the media heralds the Cowboys as a lock for the Super Bowl and if the Bengals rise out of the basement, where they typically dwell, just long enough to get the musty smell off them, the media jumps on them too!

This despite the combined "one" playoff win between them in the last couple hundred years.

But it's always a good way to make a few hundred bucks.....if either of them make the playoffs, bet against them the next year!

As a Steeler fan, this is my favorite of the three certainties in life :D
 
Jeff, I know that you are a simple man of simple pleasures. You sleep in cave like huts with spartan furnishings. You prefer to eat freshly killed meat smoked over smoldering coals. You pack your foods with spices that most mortals would consider death defying. You keep company with men like Gtadroptop, KeystoneRaider, Cookie1978, JFields and Jonesy. You host events and direct your guests to 'bathrooms' consisting of shallow holes that smell of fecal matter and Akron. Alas, you do reside perilously close to Akron, Ohio which means that your cognitive abilities will be continuously affected by drinking rubber byproducts in your water. Your rudimentary cerebral cortex prevents you from enjoying finer pursuits such as baseball.

So it makes me sad for you that you celebrate such simple minded pursuits as Bengal suckdom. What's even worse is that the mighty mighty Steelers have only a 53% winning percentage against the woeful Bengals. I mean, really, head to head over 100 games the Steelers would only win 53 times? Have you seen the Bengals? Do you have any idea how bad that franchise has been since Paul Brown died? The Bengals gave up FORTY-NINE POINTS to the Buffalo Bills? Have you seen the Bills?

So, good sir, you would do well to find a more amusing certainty in life than the perils of the Bengals. While it is a certainty for sure, it is hardly an entertaining certainty to watch...well, except for when the Bengals sweep the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers as was done in 2009. Oh, and speaking of Cincinnati sports...how about Joey Votto taking the National League Most Valuable Player award? Oh, never mind...I forgot about the whole cerebral cortex thing!
 
If there was ever a good reason to bring back the popcorn icon, this would be it.

Stu, you are one of a kind.
 
Dammit Jeff. How dare you put me in with the likes of the Bengals and Stu. At least my Cowboys are showing promise, too bad it took them this far into the season to enact change.
 
Stu:

I don't have a clue what you wrote but my laughter while trying to comprehend how you could drag some guy named Cortex in to this was priceless! Didn't he discover New Mexico or something?

Sorry Clint, that was a low blow and I apologize!

John: Fight the fight for me bro, I am hunting for the next week and a half.....trying to find Stu's next meal :D
 
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