This fire had to be the worse fire I have ever seen, we got down there around 2:30 in the morning, and was sent directly to the front, now I have been in many forest fires, but this was really the first time that I was scared for my life, outside of actually combat. The fire behavior was extremely erratic, and we seem to be constantly fighting a defensive battle, the engine crew that I was on was tasked with structure protection, and we seem to be running from one house to the next, and we lossed more house than we saved. We rarely got a break, and the first time we were able to sleep or really eat was about 48 hours after we got on the line. Now I did bring a bunch of cigars for me and my crew, but seeing how all the crews were as tired as I was and sometimes worse, I decided to give all of them to my crew and the crews around me, plus all the smoke made it damn hard to smoke, hell I am still spitting up nasty black phlegm. We spent most of our time either on the engine or sleeping under it. The hardest thing about this fire was the sheer helplessness we felt when we lossed a house, but the fire was moving so fast, it seemed that we would get to a house and start to either cut away the fuel or put foam on the house, when we had to run to the engine and take off due to encroaching fire. I tell you the sheer emotional roller coaster we were all on was plain to see on each others faces. The last time I saw expressions like this, was in military combat. Plus the loss of a brother firefighter is always tough, but we all have a job to do and we all understand the risks, with this in mind we went back to work. We were pulled off the line last nite around 2300 and flown back home, a replacement crew was flown down to take our place. I am still tired but not as bad as last nite.
