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Review: Helix Robusto Maduro

B

bhaney

New Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2005
Messages
129
Because the first one tasted like ass. Maybe i just had a bad one. The contruction on this cigar was impressive though. Nice wrapper, firm construction, very few veins. I thought I may be in for a treat.

The prelight nose was of coffee and earth. At this point I was thinking ok, not bad so far. The prelight draw was coco.

Then the flame went to it. The smoke it was giving off was very dingy and smelled like burnt grass. The first couple of puffs were halfways pleasent. Very strong earth taste with a hint of coffee. Then, it was all downhill from there.

About 10 puffs in this cigar turned to straight sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry. Me being the optimist I am smoked the whole damn thing hoping it would change to something more pleasent. It didnt. 24 hours later i still have ass taste in my mouth after brushing my teeth 3 times. Oh well, maybe I just got a bad one, maybe they are all like that. Going to have to get another one and age it for a while.

Brandon
 
bhaney said:
Because the first one tasted like ass. Maybe i just had a bad one. The contruction on this cigar was impressive though. Nice wrapper, firm construction, very few veins. I thought I may be in for a treat.

The prelight nose was of coffee and earth. At this point I was thinking ok, not bad so far. The prelight draw was coco.

Then the flame went to it. The smoke it was giving off was very dingy and smelled like burnt grass. The first couple of puffs were halfways pleasent. Very strong earth taste with a hint of coffee. Then, it was all downhill from there.

About 10 puffs in this cigar turned to straight sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry. Me being the optimist I am smoked the whole damn thing hoping it would change to something more pleasent. It didnt. 24 hours later i still have ass taste in my mouth after brushing my teeth 3 times. Oh well, maybe I just got a bad one, maybe they are all like that. Going to have to get another one and age it for a while.

Brandon
[snapback]197989[/snapback]​
Click to expand...


Damn reviewers always sugarcoating products trying to sell them :p
 
there are plenty of other better cigars in that price range...I wouldn't be concerned about trying another one of those.
 
The only Helix I ever smoked was a very bad experience for me. Not sure what ass tastes like, but the Helix I had (blue band - Robusto) was just awful. :(

If you go back for a second taste, you're more dedicated than I am!
 
ive smoked a couple of these,although i didnt get straight ass from it they arent that great. try a hoyo de monterey maduro, or on the off chance you can find one a canarie d'oro rothchild maduro, these are good maduro robustos IMO. not too expensive and not too strong either :thumbs:



edit for spelling
 
Helix's fame is mainly due to the extensive advertising in Maxim, and Playboy.
Have heard a few customers say they have seen it in the mag.
I have also seen Diablo adds as well......
 
...Tasted like "ass" and "dingleberries".... TFF!!! :laugh:
 
bhaney said:
Because the first one tasted like ass. Maybe i just had a bad one. The contruction on this cigar was impressive though. Nice wrapper, firm construction, very few veins. I thought I may be in for a treat.

The prelight nose was of coffee and earth. At this point I was thinking ok, not bad so far. The prelight draw was coco.

Then the flame went to it. The smoke it was giving off was very dingy and smelled like burnt grass. The first couple of puffs were halfways pleasent. Very strong earth taste with a hint of coffee. Then, it was all downhill from there.

About 10 puffs in this cigar turned to straight sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry. Me being the optimist I am smoked the whole damn thing hoping it would change to something more pleasent. It didnt. 24 hours later i still have ass taste in my mouth after brushing my teeth 3 times. Oh well, maybe I just got a bad one, maybe they are all like that. Going to have to get another one and age it for a while.

Brandon
[snapback]197989[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

THIS has to be the best review I have ever seen. What makes it better is the fact I had NO idea why these things tasted bad when I smoked one of these being a newbie and all. But now I know....

I dont like "sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry" flavored cigars. I will put that in my profile now :laugh:

Seriously I was given this in replacement for an H.Upmann Corona Larga that someone snagged from my toolbelt humidor(3 finger case with velcro attachment so I can carry on ladders with me and not drop)

Only thing I have ever had worse that these was the Cuban ****which and it tasted like a hand rolled great dane turd with a Poison Oak wrapper
 
I've never tasted ass or dingleberries before, but I would expect them to have a lot more flavor than a Helix (granted it would be bad flavor). :)

Seriously though, both Helixes that I've smoked were really bland almost no taste to them.
 
Fantastic review: "sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry". A line to be remembered.
 
bhaney said:
About 10 puffs in this cigar turned to straight sweaty ass with overtones of dingleberry.
[snapback]197989[/snapback]​
Click to expand...

those dingleberries must have NOT been fresh....that would explain it not tasting like pure ***t. :whistling:
 
I really like the Helix Maddies...I've always found them to be mild enough for a morning smoke but not one dimensional. Some age might do them some good.
 
I have gone longer than I care to remember without ever trying one of these pieces of crap, then I was given one at the Big Smoke in Atlantic City. I finally got around to trying it out a little bit ago and have to say that I didn't even give it the full opportunity to turn my mouth into its own ass-wipe. It tasted precisely as this review suggests and I couldn't believe all the reviews I'd seen over the many years associated with this cigar. Absolutely worthless in my opinion, only marginally redeemed by the fact that it was given to me (considering the fact that I did have to pay to go to the Big Smoke so it did cost something).
 
You know what they say "straight sweaty ass is better than straight smelly ass"...
 
Helix's are great smokes..if you smoke dog****....

"its labradorian!!!"
 
Well....If anyone wants to get rid of their Helix's (Helices?) I'll be glad to take them off your hands. Trade? PM/Email me.

Paul
 
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