Well, since basically the only time I send two cigars anymore is to the same damn address, I would just cram them into a baggie, fill it up with water so that they don't try out, introduce a few beetles to the cigars, throw them into a shoe box, give it to the kids to throw around like a football, throw a mailing label to Shadow, mail it via the slowest delivery possible, post-date the delivery date for two months, and hope that it gets lost in the mail.
ALostTexan