kiltedcraftsman
Member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2004
- Messages
- 933
December 8
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife
and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge
soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of
the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled
for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and
covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by
the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't
think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our
neighbor.
December 14
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The
cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The
snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting
down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think
was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
living room.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last
night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried
to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing
hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to
see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white
crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was
too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is
lying.
December 23
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to
decorate the front of the house this morning. Is she nuts? Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's
lying.
December 24
Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was
having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow,
I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my
broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to
finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and
throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me
to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy
watching for the snowplow.
December 25
Merry-bleeping-Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the
snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head
with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a
fricking idiot. If I have to watch It's A Wonderful Life one more
time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my
pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver; he is now suing me for a
million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but also for trying to
shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun donR17;t shine. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife
and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge
soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of
the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled
for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and
covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by
the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't
think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our
neighbor.
December 14
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The
cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The
snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting
down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think
was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
living room.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last
night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried
to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing
hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to
see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or
the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white
crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was
too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is
lying.
December 23
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to
decorate the front of the house this morning. Is she nuts? Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's
lying.
December 24
Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was
having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow,
I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my
broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to
finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and
throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me
to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy
watching for the snowplow.
December 25
Merry-bleeping-Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the
snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head
with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a
fricking idiot. If I have to watch It's A Wonderful Life one more
time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my
pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver; he is now suing me for a
million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but also for trying to
shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun donR17;t shine. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
