Bombing/gifting etiquette -- my take

We're all aware that when you engage in a trade, it's expected that you turn your end around quickly, and if there will be any delay, you communicate that properly and effectively. This is a given.

What I'd like to expound upon is my opinion of what proper etiquette should be when someone sends you a "bomb", that is, an unsolicited gift.

My personal opinion is that a gift is a gift; if you're sending someone cigars or anything else with an expectation of getting something in return, then you probably shouldn't send the gift out. That's not what it is about. All you should justly expect is that you will bring a smile to someone's face, and a heartfelt "thank you."

On the other side of things, when someone sends me a gift, in addition to thanking them, I add them to my notes such that at some time in the future, I make sure to return the favor. Sometimes it may be immediate, sometimes it may not; it depends on my schedule and also when I find something that I feel is appropriate.

Right now looking at my notes, I have 3 people who will, at some point in the future, be receiving something from me. I don't feel any particular pressure to get something out to them ASAP like I would in a trade. Rather, I try to have a little fun with it, and keep a lookout for something that I think might be a proper thing to return the favor.

Here's an example (and Infinity, I hope you don't mind me using you as an example). Infinity sent me a wonderful package a few months ago. In the forums I had fun taunting him a bit, telling him that "something was coming", etc., just my way of a little lighthearted taunting.

I think it took me a month and a half to two months to actually send something to him, though. I'd been waiting for something that I thought was appropriate to send to him, so that I could return the sentiment, not just finish a pecuniary transaction.

I'm interested in hearing what folks here think of the etiquette of "bombing" or "gifting."

(Some of you who are on multiple forums will notice that I posted this elsewhere as well; curious to hear what each board thinks on the subject).

Well said Andrew. I also look at a bomb as an opportunity to PIF and not necessarily reciprocate to the same person. As long as you feel your Karma is in balance you should be OK.

BTW, a perfect example of this would be Treamayne... I sent him something probably a year ago or more (I can't recall), and it was meant as a gift. I did not expect anything in return... but he remembered it, and when he found something appropriate that he thought I'd appreciate, he returned in kind.

I thought that the gift was fantastic, and it wasn't what you'd expect, but it was very well thought out... and clearly it also means something if a year or more later, you still remember to do something like this.

Well put Moki. I personally find the most satisfaction when I put a smile on the recipients face. To hear that 'it made there day' or 'I always wanted to try these' is what it's all about. Everyone wins!

As a newbie, I am not sure I have 'earned' the right to talk about etiquette at an established site, but here are my two cents.

I think you hit it on the head when you said "communicate". Following some of the other traffic about someone who dropped the ball on following through, I think if there was a personal problem about meeting the obligation, if he communicated it that the members here, people of reason,would have understood.

Gifts should be gifts. I am sure that the people that gave them here would have felt in some way cheated if they thought that the person they were giving them to "had" to reciprocate. It takes the pleasure out of giving if you know you will be getting something in return. The truth of the matter is that I probably would be very uncomfortable in giving gifts if I thought that I was going to get something back. You are correct in that if you really want something in return for a 'gift' then you might as well say so up front and call it a trade.

I do not know what prompted you in posting this but, for a newbie, it is always good to have the protocol posted every now in them, so thanks.

Bombs are gifts, reciprocation should not be expected. However I too like to keep in mind a gift and at an appropriate time respond with something in return. That response would always be at a later date and something that would be unusual or wanted by my bomber. There is an old saying "what comes around goes around" it is not a bad saying. Good topic Andrew, thanks for the your opinion.

Not necessarily a protocol, Jazzsaxman, just my opinion. Others may disagree, I'm just curious to hear what people think.

I totally agree!

I have five people on my list. Its been 4-5 months. I am in no hurry..... I still have a blind review of a cigar that I was bombed with. I am saving it for the grand opening of my smoke room. So yea I agree no set time limit on retaliation...

Well said.

I have found that it is more fun to bomb than be bombed.

I have enjoyed putting together some sticks and picking a target or two to attack. Not sending out anything real special, just some regular sticks I have on hand. Perhaps the target has not tried one yet and I am giving them the chance to do so. Does not really matter in the end, just as long as we all have fun in the process.

Well said Moki, and a good mooch to get people to send you more bombs.













:whistling: :laugh:

Zeebra said:

Well said Moki, and a good mooch to get people to send you more bombs.

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heh... you caught me. Well, as long as they are fine with getting nothing but a "thank you" in return! Anything more than that may or may not happen, which is something people (especially newbies) should understand.

I've sent an awful lot of stuff out without an expectation of retaliation... when it happens, it's nice, but that's not the point.

moki said:

Zeebra said:

Well said Moki, and a good mooch to get people to send you more bombs.

Click to expand...

heh... you caught me. Well, as long as they are fine with getting nothing but a "thank you" in return! Anything more than that may or may not happen, which is something people (especially newbies) should understand.

I've sent an awful lot of stuff out without an expectation of retaliation... when it happens, it's nice, but that's not the point.

Click to expand...

I don't know why, but I feel compelled to bomb you now....must....bomb....Moki...

One way to "pay back" a bomb run is to do the same to someone else, somewhat in the "pay if forward" vein. Of course, those who have been generous to me do get put into my "book" and when/if I can, I will return their generosity.

But, a gift is a gift, and when given, should entail no obligation in the mind of the sender. Otherwise, it isn't a gift, it's fishing. And receiving graciously is an art that should be encouraged.

I agree strongly with your thoughts Andrew.

I have been very well taken care of by this site and I have a laundry list of folks that I do plan to return favors in time. Like you, I don't simply like to return the favor within the next week or something. I like to wait it out a bit and get to know what a person may like. Also, my stockage isn't such that I can just throw out 5 or 6 bombs at a time. So when I put one together I put a lot of thought into it.

Overall, I know when someone sends me something they don't "expect" something in return, but I try and do what I can to show them that I appreciated their gift.

As I said, I've been well taken care of here, and the best I can do in return is a few thank you bombs here and there, and to pay it forward.

Andrew:
I wholeheartedly agree with your setiments. A bomb is a gift... PERIOD. When I send a package to a person, I try to combine it with smokes that I think they will like and some of what I like. It is my way of PIF, I feel fortunate that I am able to send a few firecrackers out every now and then.

I also try and remember people who have bombed me; sometimes, (if able) I retaliate, or I put them on my list for later reference.

Every bomb that has landed on my doorstep is greatly appreciated, and I hope the ones that have landed are felt with the same gratitude.

Just my .02
Tim

I agree with what others are saying... If I send out a bomb, I expect NOTHING in return, I just hope that the recipient has yet to try something I sent! If I recieve a bomb, it is noted for sure, and I try to PIF as much as possible... maybe in a trade, or contest, at least in some way!

Great post Andrew!!! :thumbs:

I subscribe to the "pay it forward" school of thought. When I give a gift I expect nothing in return... if you are sending something out with the expectation of that person giving you something in return then it's not a gift.

It really bothers me during the holidays when I hear people say things like..."I'm only spending $50 on so and so this year because last year they only spent $50 on me." I feel sometimes people miss the point of giving.

I may be a cynic but I feel when you truly give someone a gift from the heart you're already getting something selfish in return... the good feeling that comes with giving.

One issue I'm torn with is the public thank you. On one hand I feel it's great that others know how giving the sender was but on the other hand I feel a true gift doesn't require public recognition because a true gift isn't given for gain in personal reputation.

I agree Andrew. I've bombed a few people and never expect anything other then a nice thanks.

I always say the same thing when I get asked should they do anything, I say "enjoy the smokes."

Just one thing I would like to add, I've noticed a few people will list what smokes they got when they get bombed. When I send something I just want a thanks, nothing else. I don't think it's proper to list what someone sends you. That's just me, some others may think otherwise.

Lopaka

This is an interesting thing to come up after the Holidays. For me...a bomb is a gift. Its meant that CP'er A wanted to bring a smile to CP'er B after some rough work week or a crises in their life. It doesn't even have to be a CP'er for this to take place. Hell, I've bought boxes of smokes and just hand them out to different people in the cigar shop knowing I will probably never see them again. Its that rewarding smile and heart felt thank you which makes bombing so much more fun. So in short...bombing means sharing the love of cigars with total strangers just because I can. I expect nothing in return other than at least a thanks. :thumbs: