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Need some advice.....

bfreebern

bfreebern

Yada, Yada, Yada.
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
18,432
Location
Tulsa
First Name
Brandon
I'm coaching Braydons coach pitch again this year and we have a great team with even better parents, so that's not an issue. I grew up playing every sport imaginable and especially loved baseball, even played a little in college. Now, I don't push Braydon at all, nor am I hard on him. He's a great little athlete and is able to pick anything up, fairly quickly. He's just not that into anything really, besides being outside/riding his bike/ramping, just general stuff like that. I try and get him to practice, but he'd rather do something else. When he's out on the field, it's hard for me to sit and watch him pick daisies or do backflips, etc. I'm sure I was the same way at 5 and expect others on here, were as well. It's funny b/c I get more upset if he strikes out, then he does. I know he probably doesn't understand fully, but damn it show some emotion :D

Like I said, I don't push him because I don't want him resenting it and I'd rather he have fun first, because there will hopefully be many more games to worry about. About what age do they, if they do at all, start appreciating the sport?

Just venting a little I guess. Anyone else have a similar experience?
 
Playing baseball was shoved down my throat by my uncles ever since I could throw; tee ball, coach pitch, you name it. I remember thinking of playing baseball as a chore, sucking my teeth and getting an attitude every time I got picked up for a game or practice. That was in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades. I finally quit and told them I didn't want to play again. That lasted about 6 months. I was playing little league again the following season. I guess what I'm saying is lay back, let him ride his bike, dig for worms, play freeze tag. I'm sure he'd play an occasional game of catch here and there. Hopefully when he gets a little older, he'll want to play again.
 
I coach my 9yr old boy and have for several years now. Every time I get frustrated I remind myself that I didn't even play organized sports until I was 10 so they are miles ahead of where I was. We have a couple of kids that still chase butterflies, some that make Will Clark's swing look sloppy and some that are in between. So I try and coach and encourage rather than get upset because I don't want my son, or any of the players, to get burned out before they are teenagers. Some of the kids that are playing on two or three teams and go to off-season camps I wonder about though. With virtually year round baseball, will they still want to play in high school? So you probably have another couple of years of non-serious games ahead of you. The last thing I want is to have a Ray Kinsella episode and have my son hate sports because his overzealous old man made them unfun.
 
I think you are correct in not pushing him. He might find it more fun just spending time with you and getting the praise from you.

Both of mine were good atheletes and did the same thing during tball, but they found more interest and love for the game as they got older. Baseball/tball is slow for most players, depending on what position they play, so many tend to pick the flowers. Just an opinion.



Ken
 
Agree with both of you guys. Burning out a kid on a sport is the worst thing that can happen and I try to make it fun and learn the fundamentals, over winning is everything. Like you said Moe, some kids on our team just love everything about it and it shows. Their aggressiveness, their swing....hell, every kid on the teams wants to catch every inning with the exception of you guessed it, Braydon :sign: He loves going, just is one of those laid back kids at this age I guess. Hopefully in 2-3 years it changes, but I guess my expectations are too much. I always wanted a son for this very reason, but my daughters might be into sports more then my son and I guess I'll be ok with that.
 
Do you play baseball WITH him, or just send him off to practice? Do you guys play catch in the yard just as a father/son activity without calling it "practice"? Is he interested in any other activities that YOU like to do?

At that age, children will often take a liking or at least make an attempt to participate WITH their parent just so that they are spending the time together and getting the attention. They don't necessarily like or hold interest in the activity, themselves, it's more of a bonding/attention thing. For instance, my daughter would sit and want to play and learn guitar with me anytime I would let her. We'd spend hours at a time, sometimes, just goofing around together with me showing her different things. If it came to her actually practicing on her own to get better... forget it. It's not like we never spent time together or that she was neglected (far from it), but she just liked spending the time together with me engaged in an activity she knew I enjoyed. She held no interest in actually PLAYING the guitar, herself. It's pretty normal at that age, actually.

I agree with Nasty. Let him find what he likes to do. He's still learning and growing, too. Children learn by doing, so let him do as much as he can do (within reason, of course). I think you are correct that he will come to resent it if it is forced upon him. I understand your frustration as a parent. Un/fortunately I have two girls who are not at all interested in football, motorcycles, guns, guitars or pretty much any of my other hobbies. I'd love to have a mutual hobby that we all enjoyed, but I'm still looking for that. Trying to force the issue this early could blow up on you.
 
I'm not forcing anything, I don't want that to get misunderstood. I do everything with them, hell I even ramp bikes or attempt to ride skateboards. We play around in the yard with the balls and bat, but it's nothing formal and it wouldn't by any means, be misunderstood for practice.

I guess I was just looking for advice, from others who have been in the same situation I know it's a waiting game, but it's still hard.
 
I apologize if it came off as if I was insinuating otherwise. Just throwing it out there to answer some of the questions.

I can't relate with the fatherly baseball thing, as I've NEVER liked the sport (even when my mom made me play little league as a kid), but I did want a boy for much the same reason. I wanted to go to football games and wrestling matches. Instead, I have my oldest girl who is not really into anything except her little handheld Nintendo, Twilight, and Justin Bieber. I wouldn't change it for the world, though. I might have a prospect with my youngest, though. The little girl doesn't have an ounce of fear in her 4-year-old body. I can see spending her bail college fund on a budding karting or flying career...

I've worked with my own kids in a classroom before and felt the frustration when they just weren't interested. I don't think I could do it from a coaching perspective where it's actually something important! :p
 
Don't over think it, Brandon. On the days Braydon has baseball practice or a game, wear the baseball cap when coaching, not the tiara.
 
I had the 'don't force him' approach with The Kid, but I wanted him to try different sports. Hate to say it, but I went total Soccer Dad on him at one game. He was 5 years old. At that age, soccer is a mass of kids chasing the ball back and forth. He was at the back of the pack when the ball rolled right by him. He stopped, watched it roll by, waited for the other players to pass, and then joined the back of the pack. I started yelling and pleading with him to be more aggresive. After the game, I asked why he let the other players go. He said I had always taught him to be polite and they were in line first.

He doesn't play soccer anymore.
 
bfreebern said:
About what age do they, if they do at all, start appreciating the sport?
Click to expand...

Nurture his love for the game. Braydon's appreciation for the art of practicing may take a few more years.

Go buy baseball cards with him every chance you get! ( Sometimes Dad would even buy packs for us on his way home from work. ) On the summer nights when he fusing about going to bed, give in for an extra 20 minutes, and allow him to stay up a little longer as you watch a baseball game with him on the couch. Buy him a Pitch Back , a new glove, a new bat , every year in late winter so he has something to look forward to playing with as spring approaches. Take him to some local games, collegiate or professional. ( He may just want to play in the bounce house in the family kids section instead of watching the game, but it still makes baseball fun.)
 
My best friend growing up was pushed.His father coached us both. He hasn't picked up a baseball or watched a game in 40 yrs. My father could have cared less. Never came to one of my games. I love the game.

Doc.
 
Thanks again Kirk, appreciate the insight, really I do. I know it's early on and maybe I'm just expecting too much at this point. I'm encouraging whatever he does and I think that's the main thing. Never will I be one to push anything on any of my kids. While I want them all to be well rounded and enjoy many different things, it's just having something in common with my son I think would be a really cool thing.

Same thing with me Doc. While my dad encouraged me at a young age, he wasn't around growing up so it was all me and me wanting to participate in everything I could.
 
I know it has been said many times but pushing never works. When I was a kid my Dad pushed me to baseball, Basketball and football but I loved soccer he didnt grow up knowing it at all so it took a while for him to even want to ask about it. I loved Baseball also as a kid and he tried very hard to push me into it more then soccer he pushed so hard I got obsessed with Soccer and blew off baseball even though I really loved playing. I would never give up traveling around the world playing soccer but I do wish I hadnt blown off baseball as bad as I did. I even skipped allstars finals game to go to another soccer camp.
 
You just never know when they will discover the love for the game. I remember as a kid wanting to practice all the time. Heck, I'd stand in the back yard tossing balls onto the roof of the house just so I could practice catching pop ups until my mother would lose her mind from listening to the "thumps". My son just finished his first year of 6year old coach pitch and he couldn't have cared less about practicing. I would ask him several nights every week and most Saturdays if he wanted to go out and play catch (even though he couldn't yet catch a ball in the air) but he never wanted to. All he wanted to do was play in the games so he could get up to bat. A funny thing happened though at the end of the season. He found out that one of his little buddies from the team lived around the corner from us. It took one day of them hanging out at the house and his little buddy wanting to go out and play catch and he was hooked!! Took him less than an hour and he was catching the ball in the air. Now he asks me almost daily to play catch with him. Gotta love peer pressure!
 
Let the boy do what turns him on, and what you see lights the fire in his eyes. He has to follow the beat of his own drum.

You get behind that, and give him all the support you can. He will show you where he wants to be.

You may have to be the one who does the work to have something in common.

Also, if he is five, there is a good chance he is not really going to relish a real structured, regimented training session with something that doesnt light a fire in his belly.
 
Remember that he's 5. Remember that he's only 5.

Just keep it fun. You've got a lot of years ahead of you when it comes to this kind of stuff.

My boy is 8 and we just started making more decisions about his activities this year based on how seriously he's going to take them. We talk with him before signing him up and make sure he's ready to at least give his best effort. When he starts to slack a little, I remind him of this talk and how important it is that he always gives his best and never lets his team down. It took a couple of months (and a couple of other kids to be poor examples), but he finally got it. Before this year, we just tried to expose him to anything he showed the slightest interest in.

Any time my boy gets a little down on his playing, I always remind him that only 3 years ago he dropped trou and took a leak right on the 2nd base bag. He has come a long way since then.
 
You should get him up at sunrise, take him outside, and have him field 50 grounders before breakfast. If you take him to the bus stop, it doesn't hurt to have him take his glove there, either.

After school, he should be able to field another 50 grounders cleanly before he can eat. The first few he might mess up, but you'd be amazed how much a motivator hunger is. When it's time for bed, let him rest. Have him lay down and just toss some balls up in the air for him to catch while he lays there. He may doze off at first, but the first one that smashes his forehead will keep him awake.
 
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