mostholycerebus
New Member
This cigar was gifted to me during the course of the “Friend don’t let friends...” thread, by an extremely generous member, CasaSoho. I decided to finally smoke this baby after a good dinner of ribs on a humid evening stroll.
My first impressions of this cigar were good. The box was extremely well packaged, and the cigar itself was finely built. I have not seen such a light-colored wrapper before, an even light tan color. The wrapping was smooth, but it seemed a little looser than other cigars i’ve handled. As a whole the cigar was evenly dense, despite it’s irregular shape. I was astounded someone could build such a cigar this shape with an even density. There was some minor peeling, which I attributed more to adventures in shipping than any build issue.
Sniffing the cigar was the first letdown. There was very little odor, and I spent several moments trying to find one. Eventually I noticed a faint smell of leather, mixed with the cedary smell of my humidor. I snipped the tip, walked out the door, and proceeded to meander around my neighborhood, glad the cover of darkness hid the Egg from my neighbors.
The first third was not as bad as some of the past comments lead me to expect. Light was perfect, and the draw was even, if a tad too easy. Taste was hardly there, extremely mild, and what I did taste was a medley of cedar and some other nigh-tasteless wood. It was a bit harsh, but i’ve come to expect that from many cigars. At this point, I was partaking in the mechanical aspects of cigar smoking (light, draw, exhale, breathe, inhale, etc) with none of the taste payoff.
Second third was when the horror set in. The harshness disappeared, to be replaced by the most terrible thing i’ve ever tasted in my life. The draw began to get hot as more of it lit, but I disagree with other reviewers: it never got too hot to play a part in my dislike, and indeed I have had many other cigars of all sizes get as hot, from drawing fast. No, at this point the taste alone began to hit me, a taste that I could best describe as: if you dripped hot cigarette tar all over the inside of a security guards leather shoes after he’d worked a double, and licked it slowly. There were also hints of chewing old wood that has sat out in the weather for 7 years. This is the point at which I began to spit as well. Now, spitting is normal for many people, but I am not one of them. I spit maybe 3 times a year (excluding tooth brushing and the like) and despise it (in myself, no offence meant to you spitters) but I found myself spitting after every inhale, just to rid my mouth of the taste.
The final third re-set the bar for, the most terrible thing i’ve ever tasted. If the middle was stephen king-horror, this was Lovecraftian in nature: a flavor so terrible that it transcends our understanding of bad cigars, an unworldly taste of the elder gods tobbaco from beyond our universes’ planar disc. It was all of the middle, purified, but I also noticed a harsh bitter aftertaste begin to pick up. It got so bad that I had to put it down before nubbing it, despite my ardent determination to do so. I admit I was not man enough to finish it.
It was at this point I noticed the deformity (which, again, raises the shadow of lovecraftian-themed cigar construction). This cigar was very heavy, yet the ends remained the size of a robusto. As the middle burned I found myself gripping the smaller tip, rather tightly because of the weight, in order to keep the cigar level. This eventually caused some crushing towards the end, and made the grip ‘squishy’ and uncomfortable.
^^ Long ash, uneven burn. I had to clip and re-light twice.
^^ Note the deformed end, from having to grip it so hard
Other aspects of the cigar varied. The ash was large and strong, didn’t break despite my jostling movement and its weight. There was a great deal of uneven burn, which I expected with this shape. Overall, this was an excellently made, packaged and marketed absolute dog rocket that I will never smoke again, nor recommend to anyone, ever, unless they A) Have no taste buds whatsoever or B) just need something to look good in their glass-topped end-table humidor.
Here's my rating, per the guide, the positive aspects were primarily the look and packaging:
APPEARANCE AND CONSTRUCTION
(15 of the possible 100 points) - 15
FLAVOR
(25 of the possible 100 points) - 2
SMOKING CHARACTERISTICS
(25 of the possible 100 points) - 5
OVERALL IMPRESSION
(35 of the possible 100 points) – 10
TOTAL: 32/100
