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Sounds good to me, little James. I'm going to kitzeln your stange with some amerikanische Zigarren!

Fatty, huh... well, a big bag of reindeer shite might be in order 😂 And, some lessons on how to create a decent fantasy football team.;) Got it!

I was told of some travel for you which I may need to coordinate my delivery around. Is this right? I would hate to have your gifts dropped off right after you left.

We all been watching you build the Great Steps of China, and a dam fine job you did. If I'm still tired I can imagine how you must be. Your effort can be rewarded here, but some guidance on your part could help. Anything in particular make your twanger spring upright? You know I can do it...

If she rode me more, she wouldn't the ex-Mrs Claus!

I think I'll get him all bright red Buckeye gear. With an extra dose of RED ;)

Buckeye my ass @Acclaym . I still haven't forgotten the picture his family took when I met him the first time...

I have to tell everyone, I was really pumped about this year's Secret Me event over here at CP as I waited with great anticipation for the PM to come to my Inbox. Who will it be? Maybe @CigSid? @Rod? @stogieman? You know, someone really nice that I could put a great big smile on their face! I...

Safe to say...court is adjourned?

My balls hung out of my sleigh for half my 2012 trip. I ripped them on the way down a chimney in Sydney... froze my balls almost clear off. Mrs Claus made me some ball covers and they took off! Ive got half a dozen elves just sewing thier little hearts out. Its gonna be a hit... Im...

Ho Ho Snap! Lil' Bert found a couple sticks hiding in the reindeer stable! This'll be a Christmas to rememeber(think aroma de reindeer poo!). The search continues! SS

What, I get no credit?

I see, and understand. Life has a way of "happening" and we forget to step back and smell the roses(cigars). I'll get Bert, the imp elf, to look around to see what's left over. We'll take care of you, for sure. Also, a man can't try to lose weight during the holidays. Foolish, at beast...

Investandprosper sounds like a better plan than work for free and give the fruits of my labor away for nothing. Luckily as a mythical being I'm not taxed, don't have to eat and save on heating costs in the North Pole. I'm sure your weather is much better than the freezing sadness we have here at...

Ho ho ho and a Merry Christmas season Gary! Isn't this a treat. I've been waiting for the day you would be pulled for my kid, and by holly today is that day! I may have had to knock off another Santa to do it, but all is fair in this wonderland of sugarplumbs and candycanes. So tell me, what...

Listen- it happens. Santa's had a bad year too. On the up side?? Ive had a few gems in my workshop that may need to be shared... but I need to know a few things: 1. Naughty (Maduro) or Nice (Natural)? 2. Refreshment to pair with (coffee, beer, whisky, scotch? 3. What is my ride through MO going...

I've consulted my elves and I think we are good on what to give you. One of my elves did see the suggestion for bobcat repellent above. He informed me that Reindeer piss was the ultimate repellent to be used, so we will fly around the house raining down that repellent so you can feel safe at...

Ok Santa has elfs and Misses claus working on a package that you will enjoy.

Santa hates warm weather and now I got haul my fat ass all the way down to Texas... At least in North Carolina I can get some decent barbacue. Looking back through my notes, you must be on the naughty list and are trying wash your mouth out with nasty IPAs. Santa likes stouts and sours, so get...

Ho Ho Ho. So let me get this straight. Spicy snacks for your dog, fast car for your wife and some chew toys for you and let’s not forget some cigars your kids. Hmm I like how you think 🎅