ATM PROCEDURES

[pub spears]

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse, back up the required amount to align car window to machine.
3. Set parking brake; put the window down.
4. Find purse, dump contents onto passenger seat to locate card.Refill purse.
5. Turn the radio down.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Reinsert card the right way up.
11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside of the back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
19. Recheck make-up again.
20. Drive forward 2 feet.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty purse, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers behind you.
25. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.