Why is it so difficult to solve a murder in Missouri?
All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.
Q. How many Colorado fans does it take to make popcorn?
A. Over 100. One to hold the pan, three to shake the stove,
one to hide the bong as the police arrive and the rest to complain
that they missed the recruiting party.
Two KSU fans were out hunting when a bird flew overhead and made a 'deposit' on one of them.
The first Wildcat says, "You want me to run back to the trailer park and get some tissue?"
The second one says, "Don't bother. That bird will be long gone by the time you get back."
Did you hear about the Oklahoma linebacker who stole a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: How does a Kansas Jayhawk count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, .....
There was a Sooner fan who went hunting and ran across a
beautiful, naked woman in the woods. He asked "Are y'all game?"
She smiled seductively and nodded yes. So the Okie shot her.
Hear about the Longhorn fan who lost $50 on the football game?
He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.
Q: What's the last thing an Oklahoma stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes.
Q: What did the Cornhusker say to the Iowa State grad?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
The Texas football team can do almost everything with the ball except sign it.
Q: How does a Texas Aggie girl turn on the lights after having sex?
A: She opens the car door.
Did you hear about the Missouri newlyweds going on their honeymoon?
They wanted to fly United, but the stewardess wouldn't let them.
What do they call a crime ring in Boulder?
A huddle
There are 4 Colorado Buffie players in a car. Who is driving?
The police
Did you hear about the new honor system at Colorado?
Yes, your Honor. No, your Honor.
Colorado has hired a new defensive coordinator.
Johnny Cochran starts on Monday.
You know you're from Oklahoma if:
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on the amount of gas in the tank.
Q: How does an Oklahoma girl earn money for college?
A: The Tooth Fairy.
Q: How do you keep a Kansas Jayhawk out of your yard?
A: Put up goalposts.
Two Kansas State scholars were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks.
The first KSU scholar said "Those are deer tracks."
The second one said "Nope, they're too big for deer tracks. They must be elk tracks."
As the debate raged on they were hit by a train.
Q: What do they call duct tape in Stillwater?
A: Chrome.
The Missouri players are so lucky. When they go Christmas shopping
for their mother, girlfriend and sister they only have to buy one gift.
Q: Why did O.J. plan to move to Columbia, MO?
A: Because everyone there has the same DNA.
Q: Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the white Bronco?
A: Manhattan, KS. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.
Q: What does a tornado and a Sooner cheerleader have in common?
A: They both eventually end up in a trailer park.
Q: What is the difference between an Aggie cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells; the other is a fish.
Q: What do you call 20 Colorado fans skydiving from an airplane?
A: Skeet
Two Longhorn football players were down on 6th street partying up a storm.
They were hootin', hollerin' and yee hawin' when the bartender asked them why
they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished
a jigsaw puzzle and it only took two months.
"Two months!?" exclaimed the bartender. "To complete a simple puzzle?"
The Texan replied, "Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years."
Q: Why was the Texas Tech football team late for their last game in Lincoln?
A: Every time their bus passed a sign that said 'Clean Restrooms', they did.
What happens when a Texas fan takes viagra?
He gets taller
2004 Kansas State football schedule
9/6........Lawrence Middle School 4th period gym class
9/13......Cub Scout Pack 231
9/20......Kansas Academy for the Blind
9/27......Spanish American War Vets
10/11......Concordia Home for Wayward Girls
10/18....Prairie Village Girl Scout Troop 439
10/25....Wichita Fraternal Order of Elks
11/1.....Kansas City Boys Choir
11/8......Topeka Garden Club
11/15....Meet thy doom in Lincoln
11/22....Salina High School Marching Band
