Congratulations!

This is classic:

* Ron White: (Laughing) I believe...that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and then find someone whose life has given them vodka...and have a party.

* Larry: I believe...guns don't kill people; husbands that come home early do.

* Bill Engvall: I believe...that the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach...it's a little further south.

* Jeff Foxworthy: I believe...that if you can't say something nice about somebody, you must be talkin' about Hillary Clinton.

* Larry: I believe...that the cripple stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stools.

* Ron White: I believe I'll have a scotch. Oh wait, I already have one. Never mind, go ahead.

* Bill Engvall: (Dorky-sounding voice) I'm a dorkfish! He caught me on a corn dog! I swear to God! I was swimming underneath the ocean and went (slightly higher voice) what's a corn dog doing underneath the ocean? (back in dorky voice) But you know I love them corn dogs!

* Bill Engvall: I believe...that anyone who wants to wear a thong should have to go through an application process.
 
northernmoris said:
This is classic:

* Ron White: (Laughing) I believe...that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and then find someone whose life has given them vodka...and have a party.

* Larry: I believe...guns don't kill people; husbands that come home early do.

* Bill Engvall: I believe...that the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach...it's a little further south.

* Jeff Foxworthy: I believe...that if you can't say something nice about somebody, you must be talkin' about Hillary Clinton.

* Larry: I believe...that the cripple stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stools.

* Ron White: I believe I'll have a scotch. Oh wait, I already have one. Never mind, go ahead.

* Bill Engvall: (Dorky-sounding voice) I'm a dorkfish! He caught me on a corn dog! I swear to God! I was swimming underneath the ocean and went (slightly higher voice) what's a corn dog doing underneath the ocean? (back in dorky voice) But you know I love them corn dogs!

* Bill Engvall: I believe...that anyone who wants to wear a thong should have to go through an application process.
Click to expand...

These are all very funny, i'm going to have steal some these jokes.
 
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