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Do You Have an Amusing Rhyme to Share?

K

knightlaird

New Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2005
Messages
433
Location
Kerrville, Texas
Greetings! Do you have an amusing rhyme to share? Well, let us see it! Here's one of mine, that I composed: Once there was a cigar hater named "Gurd", Who always smelled like a turd, "Yes, I know that I stink", He would say with a wink, "But, you're the one who's downwind!" This is actually a limerick, because it has five lines. Please let us see your rhyme. Regards, knightlaird
 
My favorite limerick is:

There once was young lad named Bright
Who traveled the speed of light
He went off one day
In a relative way
And returned the previous night.

I think it was from Scientific American in the late seventies.

Then there is the venerable:

There was a woman from Nantucket
Give her a cucumber

Oh, wait. You said clean...
 
There was an old man with an art

Of making a sweet dinner tart

with a handful of sh$t

some snot and some piss

he flavored the whole with a fart

--------------------------

There was an old man from Madrass

whose balls were made out of brass

in inclimate weather

they banged together

and lightening shot out of his a$$


-----------------------

There was an old man from Belgrave

who kept a dead whore in a cave

it's not nice I'll admit

he's a bit of a sh$t

but look at the money he saved
 
The Master said:
There was an old man with an art

Of making a sweet dinner tart

with a handful of sh$t

some snot and some piss

he flavored the whole with a fart

--------------------------

There was an old man from Madrass

whose balls were made out of brass

in inclimate weather

they banged together

and lightening shot out of his a$$


-----------------------

There was an old man from Belgrave

who kept a dead whore in a cave

it's not nice I'll admit

he's a bit of a sh$t

but look at the money he saved
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i spit up my milk and cookies! lol!
 
Here is a ryme from my brain.

Not funny but original the same.

Made up just for this.

So who gives a $hit.

After all it is only a game.
 
I'm not sure about amusing, but here is some of my stuff. I really like riddle-poems, but haven't made any new ones recently. The first poem posted was an attempt at a different style (each line is one syllable shorter). I've been trying my hand at Haiku too, but don't have any ready to post.

-K-

--------------
Sunlight streaming, heaven beaming, lighting the sky
Upward turned, eyes searching for my heart's desire
Pain inside that burns heart and soul, I cry
Above a beauty showcased in fire

Inward I look, beyond self-hatred
Turning my vision inside
An unknown hunger, sated
Soon, my dark self hides

Blackness seared
Now I see
I'm clear
Free

-------------

We are Kings at night
Yet Slaves in daylight
We see all, know all, tell all

Watch our timeless dance
Under our light, prance
Wait to see if we fall

Your future we know
Your secrets we show
For your dreams, just call

-----------

A twin that kills without a cut
I rent your heart, like game hath gut
A blackness from inside doth swell
A sorrow none can hide does tell

A knight in black when hope has fled
When loss and misery doth wed
Those I a-wash see not the end
Their will I break, their life I bend

With cheer and joy I'm to be fought
And hope regained, A new life bought
Life beyond me can still be saved
If help from friends yet be not waived
 
Hi, Treamayne! Thank you very much for sharing some of your poems with us. They are excellent! You have a wonderful talent. Many thanks again. Regards, knightlaird
 
On Liquor Production
by David M. Smith

A friend who's in liquor production
Owns a still of astounding construction.
The alcohol boils
Through old magnet coils;
She says that it's "proof by induction."
 
knightlaird said:
Hi, Treamayne! Thank you very much for sharing some of your poems with us. They are excellent! You have a wonderful talent. Many thanks again. Regards, knightlaird
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Thanks for the kind words, but I am a true amature. Now Niel (Sam Clemmons). he has talant! Check out his Q & A.
 
There once was a lady from Dee
Who stayed with each man she did see.
When it came to a test
She wished to be best,
And practice makes perfect, you see!!
 
I wrote these in a thread for Neal (samclemmons) back in January. Supposedly, the enjoys cigar porn poetry:

#1

A cuban-smoking ho with some class.
Had a rude-as-hell client named Bass.
Bass shouted, “Spank me now, please!”
And leaned over her knees
But all he got was a RASS up his ass.

#2

There once was a girl from Belize
For a cigar, she would drop to her knees
When Sam Clemmons said “Do it!”
The girl got right down to it.
But the next day she was covered in fleas.



Now that's some classy poetry right there... :D
 
Not mine; obviously, just a favorite :D


In days of old when knights were bold
and journeyed from their castle,
trusted men were left behind,
knights needed not the hassle.
They helped themselves to pig and peach
and drank from king's own chalice.
Oh it was a stirring sight
these gypsies in the palace.
 
One my grandfather used to say...back in the day when you had some johns that were coin operated for you youngin's.

Here I sit, broken-hearted
Spent my last quarter to $hit
and only farted.
 
:laugh: Here's another one: The Queen of Boo Boo, By the name of "Snoo Foo", Who was a lulu, Took a big poo poo, At the Bay of Hoo Doo! Regards, knightlaird
 
There once was a girl from Azores
Whose body was covered in sores
The dogs in the street
Did eat the Green Meat that
hung in festoons from her drawers





Your Welcome
Special Recognition goes to the Eau Claire Old Boys Rugby Club
 
All are original by little ol me, Bruce Allan Kohn

There once was a man fromm Wales
Whose ears were like a ship's sails
The in-breeding it shows
Of course everyone knows
That's why the monarchy fails
-----------------------------------
And not too soon for Christmas....

Pins & Things
And Pretty Rings
Who Will Ever Know
What Santa Claus Brings

Ties Most Un-needed
And Belly’s Un-feeded
Await Us Next Morn
With Totties Un-heated

We Wake From Yon Night
And Watch The Children Delight
At The Gifts They Do Find
‘Neath The Christmas Tree So Bright

Santa Came! Santa Came!
They All Did Proclaim
I Got A G I Joe!
And Look! I Got A Train

Merry Christmas I Bring
With Just A Little Bling Bling
To Wish You All The Best
The Best Of Everything
--------------------------------

This one isn't amusing, but it's one if my best:

What Am I Going To Do?

What am I going to do?
I am torn…
Torn up inside.
So excuse me Bob when I say…
I am tangled…
Tangled up and blue.
What am I going to do today?

What am I going to do?
When deep down inside…
What has me feeling blue…
Is something I’ve tried to hide.

What am I going to do?
What is in my heart and soul…
That one thing, that all encompassing thing…
Is burning a gaping hole…
Deep inside my being.

What am I going to do?
What I feel for her…
Whenever we’re apart.
Has brought up such a stir…
Deep inside my heart.

What am I going to do?
Shall I disclose…
All that I feel.
Or can I dispose of…
Or learn how to deal…
With love.

What am I going to do?
If I tell her of my feelings…
Will she run away and hide.
And leave me alone and reeling…
So broken up inside.

What am I going to do?
I wake up each day and wonder.
 
Nice poems Bruce - thanks for sharing.

The Herf

Here, once again we meet
Everyone's a friend to greet
Really enjoying the comraderie
Food, smokes and friends to see


Welcome to CP

Here is a group, a family
Brothers and sisters of the leaf
Like siblings we can quarrel
Some fights are downright feral
But there is still no nicer place to be
 
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