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Don't bet against UMASS

AngryFishH

AngryFishH

Official Big Fish
Joined
Sep 28, 2006
Messages
1,306
So, I lost my bet with CasaSoho on the UMASS game (Damn you Montana, booooo!) and here is my penance. For those of you too lazy to look at the other thread, we bet, I lost, simple as that. Now, the loser was to review a nasty flavored cigar.

I went to local tobacconist and asked for the absolute worst flavored cigar they had. So the lady behind the counter was so stunned she asked me what is was for. I said "to smoke". She pulls out this walkie talkie and asks someone else (this is where I knew disaster was just around the corner). A deep voice from the other side says "at the bottom of the display, it's called Moneymaker". She reaches in the back and pulls out this, this, this thing.

I knew right then this would be a challenge. So I bought two. Why two? Because someone reading this might get it in some trade with me and I wanted you to be able to refer to this review while smoking it.

Stay tuned. I am preparing to light it now.



Fish

Damn Montana Griz and their interception throwing quarterback. He should be smoking one of these too for that bush league performance. Yeah, I said it, BUSH LEAGUE!
 
Sounds like you're in for some serious enjoyment. :sign: I only hope your tastebuds make it through!
 
Worse than ACID? lol I'm looking forward to this :sign:
 
Hmmmm. I wonder if the cigar lady misunderstood, as I don't think these are flavored.

Muniemaker is an old Connecticut brand. Machine made, short filler, with an ugly, but ok tasting wrapper.

'Bout once a year I smoke one of the darks - they don't make me retch, and it's a nice way to reflect on the state's history as a tobacco grower and cigar producer. Certainly not complex, and if smoked too quickly, they overheat and can get harsh.

I've smoked long filler cigars that I find far nastier than these.

I'll be interested in reading your review AF.

edited because I had the same sentence twice in there.
 
tigger said:
Hmmmm. I wonder if the cigar lady misunderstood, as I don't think these are flavored.

Muniemaker is an old Connecticut brand. Machine made, short filler, with an ugly, but ok tasting wrapper.

'Bout once a year I smoke one of the darks - they don't make me retch, and it's a nice way to reflect on the state's history as a tobacco grower and cigar producer. Certainly not complex, and if smoked too quickly, they overheat and can get harsh.

I've smoked long filler cigars that I find far nastier than these. Certainly not complex, and if smoked too quickly, they overheat and can get harsh.

I'll be interested in reading your review AF.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the history Tigger, here is a link to the company...

http://www.fdgrave.com/

They don't sound half bad, it looks like AngryFishH got lucky.
 
I don't smoke them anymore, but muniemaker is the best machine made, non-commie, cigar out there. And it's a CT. Puro.

Doc.
 
Moneymaker

The Look: Short and stubby,
The Feel: The wrapper is oily almost slick and there is a large vein down one side. It is a kind of box press, round at the tip and square at the lit end.
The flavor: I am not sure, the cigar itself is pungent. Almost makes my eyes water. I feel like I should wash my hands before I touch my eyes or pee. I don't know what the flavor is. The box said flavored, but gave no description of which flavor. Peach is always a flavor in cheap cigars, we will say peach until I can get up the urge to smoke it.

(10 minutes later)

I am still looking at it. It sits on my desk next to a bottle of Ultra Strength TUMS. Mocking me.


OK Lets begin.

The taste is horrible and I haven't lit it yet. If I had to guess the flavor I would say burnt plastic. Maybe thats why the flavor wasn't on the box. Marketing dollars for the moneymaker shows 4 out of 5 smokers don't like burnt plastic.

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the flavor comes out when lit. The draw is terrible but maybe thats a good thing. Who wants this smoke in their mouth. The taste is bad but thankfully its not getting worse. I still don't taste a positive flavor. I will never make a bet like this again.

About a inch in. Everyone should experience this once. My tastebuds are numb and I need something to drink. I tried to see if some coffee would help but it did not. I have grown a new appreciation for quality cigars that don't taste they were extruded from a body cavity.

Halfway now. It seems like it's not getting smaller. The wrapper still burns my lips and the smoke is making my eyes water. Doing this indoors was a mistake, I should have braved the cold. My wife came in only to laugh at me. She mocks me for picking a team I have never seen play. Damn you Montana, damn you.

Three quarters, well not quite but I am trying to stay positive. The taste of the wrapper can only be described as soapy. Which is makes sense as it is cleansing your palate from the plastic taste. This cigar was more complex then I thought.

Oh GOD! I think I swallowed a piece of the tobacco. I can only wonder what the manufacturer of these was thinking. Who are the sorry slobs who smoke these? My heart hurts.

It's over. I can't go on anymore. The taste is changing again in a bouquet of ammonia and metal. I snubbed it out and the shouts of laughter from my wife run through the house. I hope I can contain the smell to my office or I am a dead man.

This has to be the worst cigar ever made. I have smoked my share of Swischer's and DeNobili's and this takes the cake. The manufacturer should be closed and the salesman who sold this to my local tobacco store should get a raise. Who would buy these for resale after trying one? Honestly? I give it a WTF on a scale of 1 to 10.


Don't laugh too hard or I might send you a box of 'em!


Fish

PS - Did I mention that Montana stinks?
 
LOL LOL LOL LOL

Please take a picture of the remaining cigar if you can, I would like to see it.
 
 
Wurm said:
Any pictures of the packaging?
Click to expand...


There was no band or packaging other then the main box. I will go back to the store and ask for it when they sell all those "rockets". If you want I can send you some for your own amusement/enjoyment.

I can still taste it.

Blech!
 
AngryFishH said:
Wurm said:
Any pictures of the packaging?
Click to expand...


There was no band or packaging other then the main box. I will go back to the store and ask for it when they sell all those "rockets". If you want I can send you some for your own amusement/enjoyment.

I can still taste it.

Blech!
Click to expand...

Ummm no thanks, I don't want people sending me nasty tasting cigars to become a habit :sign:

A picture of the box would be pretty cool though if you manage it.

Nice review.
 
Nice job Fish. Was it really worse than a Swisher though? I went to the town dump with my father a few weeks ago and lit one up. Three puffs and I was done. It looks like they may actually use a wrapper from the same leaf on this one. The Swisher it seems as though they grind up all the scraps and blend it with perfume in some sort of paper making machine.

I hope you have found an appreciation for UMass and the running abilities of Steve Baylark from this experience. Go UMass!
 
AngryFishH said:
I went to local tobacconist and asked for the absolute worst flavored cigar they had. So the lady behind the counter was so stunned she asked me what is was for. I said "to smoke". She pulls out this walkie talkie and asks someone else (this is where I knew disaster was just around the corner). A deep voice from the other side says "at the bottom of the display, it's called Moneymaker". She reaches in the back and pulls out this, this, this thing.
Click to expand...

Isn't that sorta like walking into a whorehouse and asking to bang the old lady with 3 teeth who is scrubbing the stains off of the floor?
 
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