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For Marines

AVB

AVB

Jesus of Cool, I'm bad, I'm nationwide
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
22,984
I was just sent this by a buddy still in the Corps. Pretty funny.

A 12 Step program for recovering Marines;

1. I am a Marine, I have a problem. This is the first step to recovery...

2. Speech:
-Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400 it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).

-Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work out, get used to it.
-"F *ck" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".
-Grunting is not talking.
-It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out"
-People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you tell them you are coming from Camp Lejeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC

3. Style:
-Do not put creases in your jeans.
-Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
-A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
-A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
-So does a low reg, but not as bad.
-A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.
-you do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

4. Women:
-Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.

-Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
-Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make
"financial sense", it makes you a retard.

5. Personal accomplishments:
-In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.
-Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
-How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
-The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

6A. Drinking:
-In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"
-That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a
conversation starter.
-That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka iv's will also not be a good conversation starter

6B. Bodily functions:
-Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be
viewed as "unprofessional".
-The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

-You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is
-VD will also not be funny

7. The human body:
-Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

8. Spending habits:
-One day, you will have to pay bills
-Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.
-Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
-One day you will need health insurance

9. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU):
-Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.

10. Real jobs:
-They really can fire you.
-On the flip side you really can quit.
-Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember
they really can quit too.
-Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
-Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1800

11. The Law:
-Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.
-Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

-Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to
help you get the job
-Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not
yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

12. General knowledge:
-You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.
-Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.
-They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are, be polite.
-Read the contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.

Semper Fi!
 
Funny but true. My family told me after three years that I was starting to come around. However, still have a lot of the old habits. Semper Fi!!!! :thumbs:
 
I still have my Corps style haircut. It's great for bald guys. :whistling: It hides it real well. On another note, I got a PM from a Marine on another board who's been out about 8yrs. I couldn't understand a word he wrote, and I used to be fluent in Jarhead. :laugh:

Doc.
 
About the Air Force girls. I agree!

And, I was in the Army and knew that.
 
taltos said:
Screw 'em. They can adjust to us. :thumbs:
Click to expand...

You are obviously to young or maybe just to stupid to make a statement like that. We owe a debt of gratitude to all are vets especially the Marines. I resent your remark and I think you owe an apology to the Marines on this board. If it was'nt for them and all our vets you wouldn't have the freedom to be making that remark! We owe all our vets a debt of gratitude that can never be paid.


Edit addition:

I see from some of your posts (after writting this post) that you claim to be a Marine Vet. I am confused by your comment.
 
I think I know what he means. It seems that taltos was a Marine himself and is saying that the civilians have to adjust to us. In that case I agree and you can go back to your normal place on the shitlist.
 
Not knowing anything about this fella, I took it to mean the rest of the slack-jaws can get used to us Leathernecks.

Great post Ray. Enjoyed it.
 
AVB, that was awesome. Having gone through OCS, and having alot of Marine friends, that was hilarious. Semper Fi and Happy Birthday to you all.
 
AVB said:
I think I know what he means. It seems that taltos was a Marine himself and is saying that the civilians have to adjust to us. In that case I agree and you can go back to your normal place on the shitlist.
Click to expand...


Lol...that's what I got out of it. I don't know how it could have been misinterpreted..but oh well. :p
 
Misinterpretation can easily be made as evidenced in this thread. We need to be clear when we type here so things like this don't happen in the future. We all tend to be ourselves here on this board and when we make a post we assume that others understand us. Apparently this is not so as can be seen here in this post. Maybe we need to be more careful before we jump to a conclusion. We need to ask for clarification to a remark before we make post that condemns another. I for one have learned a valuable lesson here. I apologize to taltos for misunderstanding his post especially when it was so clear to others. I hope this thread teaches us all to be more careful in the future. Had I read his bio before I posted instead of after, I probably could have figured it out or at least asked before I posted.

Which brings me to another thought? It is important if you want to be part of a community like this that you have enough information in your bio to help each other know one another a little better. I see a lot of bio's here with "no information". How can you be part of a community if you are not willing to share some information about yourself? This is a voluntary community and as such we should be willing to fill out something about ourselves.

I know that the answer here from the FOG's will be read more post less. I understand the principal. They may forget what it is like to be new on a board like this. They have already achieved acceptance. There are some here like myself who post alot so we can be known and accepted. Yes we make mistakes, ask stupid questions and can be a pain in the ass. However it is not to annoy older members but to gain membership and acceptance in this community. It is human nature to want to be accepted we noobs can't help ourselves. Maybe you FOG's could be more understanding of our desire to gain acceptance. We will become better citizens of this board with your guidance.

I don’t mean to speak for others here and I hope I have not insulted anyone. I know I only speak for myself and not other noobs. I have made an assumption that there are some noobs who feel like I do. I can only hope that it is a correct assumption. I also am not trying to categorize all FOG’s as thinking the same but only how I interpret some of their posts and they can seem to be inpatient at times. It is not my intention to make any changes in this community only to try and have all of us have a better understanding of each other. :)
 
This is just to clarify my position on my too cryptic post. I read this board on almost a daily basis and rarely post unless I feel that I have a legitimate contribution. However the topic starter here was too funny to resist a comment. I could not envision that my comment could ever be taken as critical of my beloved Marine Corps and vterans in general. My intent was to make the comment that it is the responsibility of the civilian world to adjust to the veteran who has reached the end of his EAS. If my posts are searched on this board or many others, I defy anyone to ever find a post where I am critical of veterans or this government as presently constituted. You might find some criticism of the liberal philosophy but that is it. As far as those who think me to be a poser, I could do better than to claim to be a former LCpl Admin Clerk. Again I am sorry for giving the wrong impression and causing an unnecessary piling-on. Paul
 
Once I understood where you were coming from I had no problem. It was just the initial read hit me the wrong way because I didn't know which "us" you were talking about, Marines or civilians. I assumed civilians mistakenly and so this is as much my fault as any one elses.

No harm, no foul , carry on.
 
After all that BS.... I second the motion Screw'em they can adjust to Us. :p :p :p

13 yr as unadjustable civilian. Semper Fi
Puros





Us being the Dawgs and the Docs :D
 
Great post AVB :thumbs:
-Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal
This is one of the things I miss most about being in...There may have been a lot of yelling, but everything always got done. :D

Semper Fi
 
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