From the Mouth of Children

[MX]

>HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids)
>
>You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
>-- Alan, age 10
>
>No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
>-- Kristen, age 10
>
>WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.-- Camille, age 10
>
>HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
>You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
>-- Derrick, age 8
>
>WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
>Both don't want any more kids!
>-- Lori, age 8
>
>WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
>Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say, if you listen long enough.
>-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
>
>On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough, to go for a second date.
>-- Martin, age 10
>
>WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
>I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me, in all the dead columns.
>-- Craig, age 9
>
>WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
>When they're rich.
>-- Pam, age 7
>
>The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
>- - Curt, age 7
>
>The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
>-- Howard, age 8
>
>IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
>It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
>-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
>
>HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
>There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
>-- Kelvin, age 8
>
>And the #1 Favorite is........
>HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
>Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
>-- Ricky, age 10

 

[Anthony]

"Even if she looks like a truck"!! ROFL!!! I will be laughing at that one for days.

 

[Allofus123]

I'll give you one from one of my grandkids this past weekend.

We had 5 grandkids staying with us this past weekend while their parents were out of town. Needless to say, 5 kids between the ages of 2 and 7 made for quite a few stories but as they say.... from the mouth of babes.....

With all that was going on in the house the wife and I were lets just say very challenged. Each of us had an opinion on how to best handle these rug rats, loving rug rats of course, during play time, nap time, dinner time, etc. It seemed we were working against each other most of the day and on one dispute on what to serve them for lunch the wife said to me "Fine, if thats the way you want to do it you can do it yourself" and then promptly went into the family room and turned on the TV. Now I had 5 kids sitting at the dining table looking at me waiting for their lunch. Without thinking I marched into the other room and told the Mrs that she better get her butt in the kitchen with me and help. OK, maybe I didn't use those exact words but whatever I said it worked and the wife came back into the kitchen. Now she wasn't very happy with me at this point and I was getting the "I'm not speaking to you" treatment. When we finally finished lunch one of the kids asked if they could have dessert so I asked "Nana" if she would go into the garage and grab the Ice Cream from the freezer. Now she still hasn't spoken the whole time we were eating lunch and my request produced the stare of death from "Nana" but since the kids were sitting there saying "please Nana please can we have some ice cream" she obliged and returned with some ice cream. About that time one of the girls says......

"Nana, you sure are a good listener".




I'm so happy my wife doesn't know the combination to the gun safe.

 

[JHolmes763]

My four year old and I were driving by two train engines the other day and I pointed out the building they "sleep" in. For some reason, he just said "A train's got to do what a train's got to do, dad". Cracked me up... I've been using that line in all of my conversations to my wife this week...

 

[NullSmurf]

I'll give you one from one of my grandkids this past weekend.

We had 5 grandkids staying with us this past weekend while their parents were out of town. Needless to say, 5 kids between the ages of 2 and 7 made for quite a few stories but as they say.... from the mouth of babes.....

With all that was going on in the house the wife and I were lets just say very challenged. Each of us had an opinion on how to best handle these rug rats, loving rug rats of course, during play time, nap time, dinner time, etc. It seemed we were working against each other most of the day and on one dispute on what to serve them for lunch the wife said to me "Fine, if thats the way you want to do it you can do it yourself" and then promptly went into the family room and turned on the TV. Now I had 5 kids sitting at the dining table looking at me waiting for their lunch. Without thinking I marched into the other room and told the Mrs that she better get her butt in the kitchen with me and help. OK, maybe I didn't use those exact words but whatever I said it worked and the wife came back into the kitchen. Now she wasn't very happy with me at this point and I was getting the "I'm not speaking to you" treatment. When we finally finished lunch one of the kids asked if they could have dessert so I asked "Nana" if she would go into the garage and grab the Ice Cream from the freezer. Now she still hasn't spoken the whole time we were eating lunch and my request produced the stare of death from "Nana" but since the kids were sitting there saying "please Nana please can we have some ice cream" she obliged and returned with some ice cream. About that time one of the girls says......

"Nana, you sure are a good listener".




I'm so happy my wife doesn't know the combination to the gun safe.

The Stare of Death! It's genetically planted and universal.