This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it
was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;she was concerned that
one
day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to
rip
them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey
for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where
she
had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
parts
and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went
upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as
she
rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture
she
reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
asked
him what was the matter.
He said,"Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me
and I
didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and
these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it
was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;she was concerned that
one
day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to
rip
them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey
for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where
she
had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
parts
and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went
upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as
she
rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture
she
reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
asked
him what was the matter.
He said,"Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me
and I
didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and
these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
