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Greetings and a question

V

Vincent

New Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2009
Messages
2
Location
Tampa, FL
So i just found this great cigar website community today and i would just like to say hello to all the cigar connoisseurs out there, my question is my son turned 19 last November and he started smoking cigars and he says he loves the experience and the cigars and im wondering what i should do, should I tell him not to start smoking or let him smoke and have a great father son experience?

Also the wife is bitching at me to tell him to stop.
 
Welcome to the board. Good luck with the wife.

As for the child (son) My parents were very open about there view in this matter. The time I hit 18 I was an adult. My father open the front door and told me to go make a living for my self.

after all I was an adult.

GOOD LUCK with the wife, did I say that all ready. :whistling:
 
Well my son has already moved onto a local college and is living in our house as he is working on his college so i dont really have a problem with him smoking its mainly the wife, but I guess im wondering is it being a "responsible parent" letting him smoke cigars or not.
 
Vincent said:
So i just found this great cigar website community today and i would just like to say hello to all the cigar connoisseurs out there, my question is my son turned 19 last November and he started smoking cigars and he says he loves the experience and the cigars and im wondering what i should do, should I tell him not to start smoking or let him smoke and have a great father son experience?

Also the wife is bitching at me to tell him to stop.
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Don't cut him off completely. I would say keep on eye on how much he smokes. If he loves them that much he will smoke regardless. BTW, head over HERE and formally introduce yourself. :) welcome.
 
For most...cigars are exactly that Vincent....an experience.

I know little to no cigar smokers who do it for their "nicotine fix". Hell, it's too damn expensive for that, lol.

For most of the cigar enthusiasts out there it is about the experience a cigar provides. The time alone maybe, the time with friends to chat and enjoy together maybe, hell there's a laundry list of "experiences" that we all get from a cigar.

But I think most will agree that there is a comradery in this hobby that you'll find in no other. If you find that and want to share it with your son I think you'll find it is extremely beneficial and will pay you back ten fold.

If you're looking to get him pissed off and appear to be controlling his life at age 19...then by all means tell him to stop. Which of course you already know will probably encourage him to keep going :)
 
Sounds to me like the only factor is the wife. I know I've seen some health journal articles online about the low risks of cigar smoking compared to cigarettes, I'm sure you could find one or two to show the better half. Not completely risk-free, but what is? And being 19 myself, I can tell you that he will definitely go out and smoke more if you tell him not to. That's just an instinct at my age. Not to mention I'm sure you and your son will be a lot closer sharing the same hobby. I think that's pretty cool.
 
Dude Love said:
Sounds to me like the only factor is the wife. I know I've seen some health journal articles online about the low risks of cigar smoking compared to cigarettes, I'm sure you could find one or two to show the better half. Not completely risk-free, but what is? And being 19 myself, I can tell you that he will definitely go out and smoke more if you tell him not to. That's just an instinct at my age. Not to mention I'm sure you and your son will be a lot closer sharing the same hobby. I think that's pretty cool.
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Weird name?
 
Vincent said:
Well my son has already moved onto a local college and is living in our house as he is working on his college so i dont really have a problem with him smoking its mainly the wife, but I guess im wondering is it being a "responsible parent" letting him smoke cigars or not.
Click to expand...
Assuming that you yourself are a cigar smoker, to tell your son that he may not smoke would be pretty hypocritical. However you swing it, I would say from my perspective that this could be a great way to share something with your son. He's 19 and gonna be growing into his own life, so it would be nice to have something else that bonds you two together.

Wish my dad was okay with me smoking cigars.
 
You don't force a 19yo to do anything, not any more. Make it clear, or rather have your wife make it clear that she does not approve, then let it go. You might go so far as to deny permission for him to smoke on your property, but that's all you get.
 
He's an adult....he can make his own decisions. My parents hate tobacco, I use all forms, and work at a tobacco shop. They disapprove of tattoos and I have one. However, I still turned out to be pretty successful for a 20 year old.

They tried to force me to stay away from tobacco, and look how I turned out....not saying it was because they wanted me to quit, it's just I steer the ship of my life, not them.

I didn't have a good father son experience, and I'll probably end up not talking to my father after I graduate college....don't let that happen between you and your son...telling someone they can't have an occasional cigar is not worth the turmoil it will create.

Just my .02, let the man live it up.
 
I think there has been some great advice posted here. I would have to agree with everyone else on the aspect of coming off as too controlling. I was very fortunate that my parents were very accepting. Although I didn't really start smoking cigars until after I had moved out. I would simply let the wife know how YOU feel, discuss it with her and find out why she doesn't approve. If she has valid points you need to avoid not alienating her feelings by letting your son know that you disagree and think he should keep smoking anyway. You need to reach a conclusion on the matter as a couple and work it out amongst yourselves as to what the best course of action is. If the conclusion is that he shouldn't be smoking cigars then there isn't much you can do about it besides not allowing him to smoke them or store them on the property...but then again that would tend to create a bit of tension between you guys and your son.
 
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