MNBrian
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2015
- Messages
- 1,390
Man, I've missed this place! 
Just wanted to share an update on the happenings. Fair warning, it's a bit intense, but all is well that ends well. Last time I was around consistently, I'd just been hit in the gut with my dad's suicide attempt, and I'd found out I was a father. Interesting set of events, that's for sure.
Through all that, I got connected with a veteran financial adviser (Scotty) who was meeting with me monthly to plan a route forward with my dad's CPA business (end of 2017-early 2018). The plan was to get my series 6 and 7 license, and open a second arm to the CPA business as a financial adviser as my dad wanted to get back to work after he got out of the hospital. It was a pretty sweet deal. Scotty was fully independent, had every license one could have (he'd even done some broker/dealer stuff for himself and had a firm of advisers under him for a while), and he was earning at the 97% range with his own broker/dealer. I didn't know it at the time but he was the number one in assets under management in the state, and ranked top 100 in the country. Scotty was a real lifesaver at a time when I needed some direction badly.
I figured 2018 couldn't be worse than how 2017 ended, and that was a bad bet. There were five funerals. One of my close friends who had spent many years touring and playing music with me passed away very unexpectedly at 32. Weird to stand at his wedding in early 2017 and be a pall bearer at his funeral a year later. My aunt passed the day after. She was in her 80's and got a cold, went into the hospital and didn't come out. Very loving woman. She was like a grandmother to me. I had to miss her funeral as it was scheduled the same day as my friends and hers was 6 hours away. My son was going to have 4 cousins his age. Both my sisters were pregnant with twins. One had twin boys, the other twin girls. The boys were born early in April of 18. One was able to go home, and one was stuck in the long term NICU at the Mayo clinic. The twin girls were scheduled to be born in October. At 28 weeks, one of the twin girls passed in the womb. Less than a .001% chance of that happening. They'd passed all the healthy benchmarks. Her heart just stopped. In November, my six month old nephew (the twin boy stuck in the NICU) had to be resuscitated for the fifth time since birth, and it looked like if he made it at all, he'd have cerebral palsy. He passed a day later. Both funerals were really rough. Finally, just after Christmas, Scotty went into the hospital for a mild cold, and went into a coma an hour later. After a week, he passed away as well. His funeral was early Jan of this year.
Nobody knew what Scotty and I were working on. And without him, that whole path sort of took a dive. He was going to split his clients with me until he had me where he needed me in terms of assets under management and base income. With him passing so suddenly, and without warning, i'm fairly certain no one will ever really know what we were working on. Now, it would be easy to look at all of this and tally up the losses. It'd be easy to wallow in it, to let feelings of hopelessness or sadness take root. Maybe a little of that happened here or there. But honestly? Looking at it that way is all wrong. Because here's how my tally should look.
My dad lived. It was a medical impossibility. Doctors still do not understand how one can manage to miss every vital organ and essentially have a life exactly the same as before. While he was in the hospital, my sister and I pulled together his CPA firm for 6 months, getting what work we could done, and getting the help we needed to clear all his extensions. He didn't lose a single client. Not one. Which means my mom kept the house and my Dad was able to return to life just the way he left it. He had the freedom to get healthy in an environment he recognized, without the guilt of waking up every day in a place that wasn't home. The loss of my friend was hard, but over the last months I've gotten to know his wife and her love for him in ways I never could've anticipated. And so many people cared about him. Hearing those stories, all the things he did, that'll live with me forever. I may have lost a niece and a nephew, but i also gained a niece and a nephew. Both are happy and healthy babies, growing older as we speak and no doubt they'll be running with my own son in no time. And sure, losing Scotty was a big blow. He was going to pave a whole new kind of future for me. But Scotty didn't get that for himself. When he was in his 20's, he walked into a branch of a local bank, the same bank that rented office spaces upstairs, and he asked to speak to the branch manager. He told the branch manager that it'd be a lot more convenient if he just had a desk in the corner on the bank floor, rather than upstairs -- being that all the tellers kept sending people to him anyways. They worked out an arrangement, and he got a desk. He was one of the first financial advisers in the US to do that. His model... it became the model for everyone. Having an FA on the teller floor, at the time, it just didn't happen. My point is, Scotty made his own path. Nobody made it for him. So maybe in a way he's doing me a favor by letting me make mine.
I'm not messing around with mental health like my father did. I'm seeing a counselor on the regular, just to make sure I'm not fooling myself. I moved into a new role in my job, bigger with more responsibility, but more flexibility to work at home and see my son grow. My family has been incredible. My friends have been supportive. My job has given me nothing but grace and understanding (and a few pay raises).
And this is my son.
His middle name is Luke -- and there's a reason for that. Luke means light. I don't want to get religious on anyone here but we named him after a verse that says "My God, my God, you turn my darkness into light." We wanted to give him that middle name in particular because the reality is -- out of a great period of darkness in our life, there was this light. And man can that kid smile.
Anywho, he's sleeping now which means I can actually functionally think about things and hop on the forums more often. My box purchases have no doubt decreased a great deal, but I heard this last year was rotten for cc's anyways. I'm excited to be around more often, and really thankful for the people here. I don't really know any place like it. Many of you reached out to me throughout this last year and a half just to check in, see how I was doing, and that's just insane to me. It's what makes CP different. It's more than a group of cigar enthusiasts. It's pretty much family.
So thank you all for being really incredible people. I'm excited to talk cigars again, and catch up on what you all have been up to. Now if someone will just get rid of all this darn snow, I could actually enjoy a smoke!
Just wanted to share an update on the happenings. Fair warning, it's a bit intense, but all is well that ends well. Last time I was around consistently, I'd just been hit in the gut with my dad's suicide attempt, and I'd found out I was a father. Interesting set of events, that's for sure.
Through all that, I got connected with a veteran financial adviser (Scotty) who was meeting with me monthly to plan a route forward with my dad's CPA business (end of 2017-early 2018). The plan was to get my series 6 and 7 license, and open a second arm to the CPA business as a financial adviser as my dad wanted to get back to work after he got out of the hospital. It was a pretty sweet deal. Scotty was fully independent, had every license one could have (he'd even done some broker/dealer stuff for himself and had a firm of advisers under him for a while), and he was earning at the 97% range with his own broker/dealer. I didn't know it at the time but he was the number one in assets under management in the state, and ranked top 100 in the country. Scotty was a real lifesaver at a time when I needed some direction badly.
I figured 2018 couldn't be worse than how 2017 ended, and that was a bad bet. There were five funerals. One of my close friends who had spent many years touring and playing music with me passed away very unexpectedly at 32. Weird to stand at his wedding in early 2017 and be a pall bearer at his funeral a year later. My aunt passed the day after. She was in her 80's and got a cold, went into the hospital and didn't come out. Very loving woman. She was like a grandmother to me. I had to miss her funeral as it was scheduled the same day as my friends and hers was 6 hours away. My son was going to have 4 cousins his age. Both my sisters were pregnant with twins. One had twin boys, the other twin girls. The boys were born early in April of 18. One was able to go home, and one was stuck in the long term NICU at the Mayo clinic. The twin girls were scheduled to be born in October. At 28 weeks, one of the twin girls passed in the womb. Less than a .001% chance of that happening. They'd passed all the healthy benchmarks. Her heart just stopped. In November, my six month old nephew (the twin boy stuck in the NICU) had to be resuscitated for the fifth time since birth, and it looked like if he made it at all, he'd have cerebral palsy. He passed a day later. Both funerals were really rough. Finally, just after Christmas, Scotty went into the hospital for a mild cold, and went into a coma an hour later. After a week, he passed away as well. His funeral was early Jan of this year.
Nobody knew what Scotty and I were working on. And without him, that whole path sort of took a dive. He was going to split his clients with me until he had me where he needed me in terms of assets under management and base income. With him passing so suddenly, and without warning, i'm fairly certain no one will ever really know what we were working on. Now, it would be easy to look at all of this and tally up the losses. It'd be easy to wallow in it, to let feelings of hopelessness or sadness take root. Maybe a little of that happened here or there. But honestly? Looking at it that way is all wrong. Because here's how my tally should look.
My dad lived. It was a medical impossibility. Doctors still do not understand how one can manage to miss every vital organ and essentially have a life exactly the same as before. While he was in the hospital, my sister and I pulled together his CPA firm for 6 months, getting what work we could done, and getting the help we needed to clear all his extensions. He didn't lose a single client. Not one. Which means my mom kept the house and my Dad was able to return to life just the way he left it. He had the freedom to get healthy in an environment he recognized, without the guilt of waking up every day in a place that wasn't home. The loss of my friend was hard, but over the last months I've gotten to know his wife and her love for him in ways I never could've anticipated. And so many people cared about him. Hearing those stories, all the things he did, that'll live with me forever. I may have lost a niece and a nephew, but i also gained a niece and a nephew. Both are happy and healthy babies, growing older as we speak and no doubt they'll be running with my own son in no time. And sure, losing Scotty was a big blow. He was going to pave a whole new kind of future for me. But Scotty didn't get that for himself. When he was in his 20's, he walked into a branch of a local bank, the same bank that rented office spaces upstairs, and he asked to speak to the branch manager. He told the branch manager that it'd be a lot more convenient if he just had a desk in the corner on the bank floor, rather than upstairs -- being that all the tellers kept sending people to him anyways. They worked out an arrangement, and he got a desk. He was one of the first financial advisers in the US to do that. His model... it became the model for everyone. Having an FA on the teller floor, at the time, it just didn't happen. My point is, Scotty made his own path. Nobody made it for him. So maybe in a way he's doing me a favor by letting me make mine.
I'm not messing around with mental health like my father did. I'm seeing a counselor on the regular, just to make sure I'm not fooling myself. I moved into a new role in my job, bigger with more responsibility, but more flexibility to work at home and see my son grow. My family has been incredible. My friends have been supportive. My job has given me nothing but grace and understanding (and a few pay raises).
And this is my son.
His middle name is Luke -- and there's a reason for that. Luke means light. I don't want to get religious on anyone here but we named him after a verse that says "My God, my God, you turn my darkness into light." We wanted to give him that middle name in particular because the reality is -- out of a great period of darkness in our life, there was this light. And man can that kid smile.
Anywho, he's sleeping now which means I can actually functionally think about things and hop on the forums more often.
My box purchases have no doubt decreased a great deal, but I heard this last year was rotten for cc's anyways. I'm excited to be around more often, and really thankful for the people here. I don't really know any place like it. Many of you reached out to me throughout this last year and a half just to check in, see how I was doing, and that's just insane to me. It's what makes CP different. It's more than a group of cigar enthusiasts. It's pretty much family.So thank you all for being really incredible people. I'm excited to talk cigars again, and catch up on what you all have been up to. Now if someone will just get rid of all this darn snow, I could actually enjoy a smoke!
