Some of those are from Murphy's Laws of War. I have a bunch of them so here are more.
· Friendly fire - isn't.
· Recoilless rifles - aren't.
· Suppressive fires - won't.
· You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
· A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
· If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
· Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
· If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
· If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
· Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
· Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
· Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
· If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
· The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
· The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: 1)When they're ready. 2) When you're not.
· No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
· There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
· Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
· There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
· A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush!
· The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
· The easy way is always mined.
· Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
· Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
· Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
· If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
· When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
· Incoming fire has the right of way.
· No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
· No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
· If the enemy is within range, so are you.
· The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
· Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
· Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
· Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
· Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)
· Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
· Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
· Tracers work both ways.
· If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
· When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
· Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
· Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
· Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
· Weather ain't neutral.
· If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
· Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
· The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
· Napalm is an area support weapon.
· Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
· B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
· Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
· Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
· The one item you need is always in short supply.
· Interchangeable parts aren't.
· It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
· When in doubt, empty your magazine.
· The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
· Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
· If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
· Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
· The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
· Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
· Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
· The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
· One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
· A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
· The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
· Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
· The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
· The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
· Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
· No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
· If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
· For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
· Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
· When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
· Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
· The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
· To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
· The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
· The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
· When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
· The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
· A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
· Murphy was a grunt.
· Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
· Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
· The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
· All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
· The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
· The crucial round is a dud.
· Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
· There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
· Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
· If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
· If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
· If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
· Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
· Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
· The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
· The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
· There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
· Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
· The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
· Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
· As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
· Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
· The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
· Walking point = sniper bait.
· Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
· If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
· The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
· The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
· The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
· If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
· The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
· If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
· The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
· There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
· Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
· If you can see, so can the enemy.
· All or any of the above combined.
· Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.
· Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.
· Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit.
· Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.
· A half filled canteens a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.
· When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.
· It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.
· If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.
· Some General last words (as his aides tried to get him to get his head down):
· Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too.
· Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.
· There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both. Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both.
· Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case."
· You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
· Complain about the rations all you want, but just remember; they could very well be your last meal.
· Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.
· You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.
· You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.
· Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep.
· Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
· NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.
· Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.
· Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
· Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
· If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
· If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.
· Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
· Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative...
· If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
· Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them.
· A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
· Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
· Being shot hurts.
· Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
· There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
· C-4 can make a dull day fun.
· There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
· If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't care.
· Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.
· Always make sure someone has a can opener.
· Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
· Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is, technically, a form of flying.
