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Miss Beatrice

trogdor

New Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
35
Location
michigan
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea..

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to; “place it on the organ, keep it wet, and that it would prevent the spread of disease.”

Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
 
One night a man walks into a bar to get sloshed. In tow he has a monkey.

The man sits at the bar and proceeds to booze it up. His monkey in the meantime starts to run around the bar eating everything in sight. He first hits the bar peanuts devouring all of them. His next stop is the pool table where he swallows the cue ball whole.

Bartender exclaims to the man, "Did you see that? Your monkey just swallowed that whole." Man indifferently says, "Oh well, he'll shit it out later."

Week later the man come back and has his monkey again. Monkey goes to the bar, grabs a peanut, sticks it up his ass, then eats it. He next stops by a table, grabs a piece of popcorn, sticks it up his ass, then eats it. The bartender to the man, "Are you watching your monkey? He's sticking things up his ass and eating them." The man, "Yea, after he passed that cue ball he measures everything now."
 
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